Bonus Material from the Nebraska Series Page 17
Ruth: Mary, you might want to know that Ares, another one of Stephannie Beman’s characters is eager to join this union. It’s not just Kyala. Here’s what he wrote:
D, I heard from my girl, Ky-what’s-her-name, that you made a Characters for the Better Treatment Union. I want in, man. My author stole my girl and gave her to my ugly brother. Then she twisted Aphie’s mind into thinking she was better off with him and not me! Then when I finally come to terms with that and start liking another girl, she goes and gives her to Hades! Stephannie is twisted, she needs to be stopped!
Mary: That sounds like a problem for Stephannie Beman, not you, Ruth.
Ruth: But he wants to join Dave’s union.
Mary: But in less than a month, Dave will forget this union thing. I’m telling all of you, this is temporary. I can’t help it if this…”God of War” isn’t happy with losing…Aphie? Who is Aphie?
Ruth: Aphrodite, goddess of love.
Mary: And so this “God of War” liked Aphrodite and then another woman?
Ruth: There’s something you have to understand about the Greek gods in mythology. They were immortal, so they had a lot of love interests. The “God of War” is Ares, by the way.
Mary: If they’re immortal, then why would they want to bother with a union that won’t even come to fruition? I’m telling you, Dave’s just bored. Once he gets back in the fields, he won’t have time to worry about it. This is a blip on the radar in the span of eternity.
Ruth: I guess when you’re immortal, you have nothing better to do than to get caught up in petty squabbles.
Mary: I don’t know what to tell Kyala and Ares. Maybe they can take their grievances to their author? Or if they’re looking for someone to be with, why don’t they end up together? I can’t help but notice the way Ares keeps looking at Kyala’s legs.
Ruth: I don’t know what the deal is for Ares or Kyala. That’s up to Stephannie to decide.
Mary: Just as long as Kyala doesn’t think she’s going to be with Dave, then she can end up with whoever Stephannie wants.
Ruth: Do you have anything else you’d like to say to Kyala or Ares?
Mary: I suggest they take up a hobby to occupy their time so they aren’t bored enough to try to join unions. Then we can all let this matter drop and go back to our stories.
The Great Kidnapping of Dave Larson
Below is a series of blog posts where Dave Larson went missing. Later, it was discovered he was kidnapped. Later on, I sue Dave for pain and suffering. Hope you enjoy the posts in this section. To this day, these are still my favorite.
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“Local Farmer Goes Missing” (An Article Written by Joseph Connealy)
(Posted on April 17, 2012)
I decided to try something different today. I’m going to let Joseph Connealy write a newspaper article. For those of you who don’t know, Joseph Connealy was the hero in A Husband For Margaret. Joseph Connealy is a reporter in Omaha, Nebraska, which is where the Larson family happens to live. So I thought it’d be fun if he took the angle to investigate the strange sudden disappearance of Dave Larson.
“Local Farmer Goes Missing”
April 18, 1885
Dave Larson: last seen going to the barn.
David Larson, or Dave as family and friends call him, hasn’t been seen for over a month following a rather heated and lengthy debate with Ruth Ann Nordin, his author, over character rights. His disappearance took place shortly after he formed the Characters for Better Treatment Union (CBTU).
“It’s not like Dave to be quiet this long,” Joel Larson, his brother, said. “Despite how he is in the books, he’s one of the biggest whiners around.”
“I wouldn’t call it whining,” Tom Larson, his other brother, said. “I’d say he states his concerns in a high-pitched voice.”
“Even so, it’s nice to get a break from him. Wherever he is, I hope he stays there for a while,” Joel said.
In an effort to dig deeper into the disappearance of Dave, I went to his residence located just north of Omaha where Mary, his expectant wife and mother of Isaac, Rachel, and Adam, was in the barn. “I don’t know where he is,” she said. “He went out to plow the field a couple weeks ago but never came home. I hope Owen can find him. I’ve been worried sick, and his children miss him.”
I wanted to ask her more, but she had to tend to the fields and hurried me out. My next point of contact came with Owen Russell, the deputy under Sheriff Meyer. He has promised he’ll be vigilant in looking for Dave.
“I’ve started asking around to see if anyone has seen him. So far, we have nothing to report, but I’ll keep searching,” Owen said.
Though there seems to be no foul play, the deputy will be interviewing those who might have some information on Dave’s whereabouts.
One such person was his author. “No, I don’t know where he is. Frankly, he was becoming a pain. Always yapping on about something he doesn’t like that I’m doing. Maybe he went off to write his own book. I can only hope his characters are giving him the same grief he’s given me,” Ruth Ann Nordin said.
“I don’t understand who’d want to do such a thing,” Lord Roderick, hero in The Earl’s Inconvenient Wife, said. “I really wanted to join the union, especially when I learned the author is rewriting my book, a change which will make me seem like a jerk. I agree with Kayla. We need to do something to help protect characters from the abuse authors put them through. And all in the name of a better story! I’ll tell Ruth where she can stick her ‘better story’–”
For the sake of keeping this article on topic, I decided to see Kayla, the tree nymph who wanted to join the CBTU.
“All I wanted was to join his Union and help him in his cause, and his wife acted like I was out to take her husband. What man can resist a nymph? You wouldn’t by chance be looking for love, would you?” Kayla said.
For the record, I politely told her I am happily married. Afterwards, I managed to hunt down Richard, the often-forgotten Larson brother.
“I’m often-forgotten because Dave keeps taking the spotlight from everyone else,” Richard said. “If it weren’t for him, my story would have been written long ago. I hope he doesn’t return until my book is done. Can you ask Ruth what the title of my book is going to be, and tell her to get started on it already? I won’t give her the grief Dave does, and I won’t complain with whatever direction she chooses to take my character, unlike the self-important Lord Roderick.”
“I resent that,” Lord Roderick said.
“Can I say something?” Sally Johnson (maiden name “Larson”) asked. “My husband is a judge. If there’s anyone who kidnapped my baby brother, he’ll bring that creep to justice.”
On a final note, if anyone has seen Dave, please send a letter to the Omaha Evening World, c/o Joseph Connealy.
Photo credit:
Dave gone missing: ID 3303849 © Yuri_arcurs | Dreamstime.com, image purchased 11/28/2011, no longer available
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Owen Russell Interviews Suspect #1: Ruth Ann Nordin
(Posted on April 19, 2012)
Owen Russell (deputy): Where were you on March 9 when Dave Larson went missing?
Ruth Ann Nordin: I can’t believe you’re bringing me in for questioning.
Owen: Please answer the question.
Ruth: This is stupid. I’m the author. What would I have to gain by getting rid of my most popular character?
Owen: You have the perfect motive for kidnapping Dave Larson. He was trying to rewrite Isaac’s Decision and created the Characters for Better Treatment Union.
Ruth: Even if he tried to sabotage my work, I wouldn’t get rid of him. He’s one of my most popular characters, and contrary to what people might believe, he’s one of the easiest characters to work with when it comes time to writing the actual book.
Owen: If he’s such an easy character to work with, why did you tell Joseph Connealy in his news article, “Frankly, he was becoming a pain. Always yapping on about something he
doesn’t like that I’m doing. Maybe he went off to write his own book. I can only hope his characters are giving him the same grief he’s given me.” Sounds like a perfect motive for kidnapping him. So, where were you on March 9?
Ruth: Oh let’s see… I was probably laughing with Stephanie Beman about Kayla, who had just sent Dave that fan letter. Only a brainless nymph would agree with Dave’s stupid union idea.
Owen: That’s not true. I hear other characters such as Lord Roderick were considering joining it. If Lord Roderick had joined, he would have gone on strike and you wouldn’t have been able to write The Earl’s Inconvenient Wife.
Ruth: As I recall, I have to rewrite over half the book anyway, so it might have been better if he had gone on strike.
Owen: But you didn’t realize you’d be rewriting it at the time.
Ruth: No, I didn’t. But then it’s hard to know how the final story looks when you’re moving scenes around, deleting scenes, and adding scenes… Until you go back and reread the thing from start to finish, you can’t know how it all comes together.
Owen: Would you say you had a lack of focus while writing the first draft of that book?
Ruth: Yeah, I guess you could say that.
Owen: Could that be because you had Dave locked in your basement and got distracted by his demands to be freed?
Ruth: You’re grasping at straws. If I had planned to get rid of Dave, then why did I come up with a third book, Forever Yours, which features him?
Owen: You stopped writing Forever Yours only 500 words into it. You didn’t even make it past chapter 1. I see you even took it off of the Works in Progress column on the right side of this blog.
Ruth: Yes, I did remove it for the time being. The book isn’t ready to be written yet.
Owen: And could that be because you kidnapped Dave?
Ruth: Oh good grief. Of course not. I just wrote To Have and To Hold. I might love to work with Dave in a book, but I need a break. That doesn’t mean I kidnapped him. I even sent everyone in Forever Yours a memo about it. This happened long before March 9, by the way. February 10 was the last day I wrote in it. If I was going to kidnap Dave, it would have happened before March 9.
Owen: Or so you say. Do you think this decision to put Forever Yours aside is why Dave created the Characters for Better Treatment Union? I notice the post where he interrupted Lady Roderick to make the announcement for the union took place on March 6, just three days before his disappearance. And on March 11, you made the public statement that Forever Yours was on hold. And March 11 is very close to March 9 when he disappeared.
Ruth: But I had decided not to pursue it back in February.
Owen: So why did it take so long to make the announcement?
Ruth: Because I had other things on my mind.
Owen: Like kidnapping Dave?
Ruth: You’re really getting annoying, Owen.
Owen: Hmm… It doesn’t take much to annoy you, does it?
Ruth: I’m through with this. I have Her Heart’s Desire to finish up. I’m in the last chapter now. I have no idea where Dave is. I didn’t kidnap him. For all I know, he’s off somewhere pouting and hoping we give him a lot of attention because he craves it. I think this is all a ploy.
Owen: We’ll see. In the meantime, don’t leave town. I need to be sure I can contact you.
Ruth: *rolls eyes* Oh goodie. *runs off to write Her Heart’s Desire*
***
Owen Interviews Suspect #2: Joel Larson
(Posted on April 22, 2012)
Owen: Where were you on March 9 when Dave Larson went missing?
Joel: I was tending to an ailing man.
Owen: Where does this man live?
Joel: On 13th Street. Is this important?
Owen: It could be. How long were you at this man’s residence?
Joel: *sigh* I don’t know. Maybe half an hour.
Owen: Did you see other patients that day?
Joel: I made another house call to a mother whose son had an upset stomach.
Owen: And where does she live?
Joel: On Mayberry Road.
Owen: And how long were you there?
Joel: Probably half an hour. Is there a point to this?
Owen: Actually, there is. You left Doctor Adams around 9am and didn’t make it back until almost 4pm. Being at the two places you mentioned took a total of an hour, and you took a horse to them. It would have taken you about an hour to get from 13th to Mayberry. So you were gone for seven hours and can only account for two of those hours.
Joel: I also picked up more medicine and supplies.
Owen: And how long did that take?
Joel: About an hour, but I also had to eat, give my horse a chance to rest, and help a lost family find a relative’s house.
Owen: Why didn’t you mention all of this earlier?
Joel: Because I was thinking of work when you asked about my day.
Owen: I notice that Dave lives just north of Mayberry.
Joel: So?
Owen: I also notice, even with all the things you reported doing that day, you have a good three hours unaccounted for.
Joel: Well, you’re asking me to think back to things that happened over a month ago.
Owen: It’s suspicious you don’t remember more of that day. The only people I talked to who can vouch for your story are Doctor Adams, the sick man, and the woman.
Joel: You’re a dork. If you already talked to them, then why are you asking me these questions?
Owen: To see if your story matches up. But I can’t explain where that missing time comes in.
Joel: Well, I already told you where I was that day. Now that we’ve wasted my time, I need to help the doctor.
Owen: Not so fast, Joel. We’ve just established that you have no solid alibi for that day. What I want to examine is motive. You, probably more than everyone else, can’t stand Dave.
Joel: That’s not true. It’s not that I can’t stand him. It’s that he likes to steal the spotlight from every other character.
Owen: Which is why you kidnapped him. With him out of the way, you could finally achieve the coveted spot of the most popular hero Ruth Ann Nordin has ever written.
Joel: No, I didn’t kidnap him. Even if Dave never was in a book, I wouldn’t be the favorite hero. Sure, some like me the most, but given the amount of books out there…