Bonus Material from the Nebraska Series Page 16
I wanted to go in another direction with my books. I wanted to focus on historical westerns, contemporaries, and Regency romances. I was way too busy to delve into the Greek world with all of my other projects.
That disclaimer aside, I thought it would be fun to write a letter to Hades for her blog post. Here it is:
My dear Hades,
It’s come to my attention that Persephone might not be happy with being stranded in the Underworld. I have no idea why. I mean, you’re gorgeous!
I wrote her a letter to explain that you’ve admired her from afar as she waltzed among the flowers in her garden under the careful eye of her mother, Demeter. I explained about your years of sorrow stuck in Tartarus until Zeus and Poseidon released you to help them win the war against the Titans, and when they promised you a kingdom, they made you god of the Underworld. Despite the good you’d done, you were punished once more. Even so, she was the one bright spot in your lonely life, and when you brought her to the Underworld, you wanted her to be your wife and reign by your side. Unfortunately, she sent the letter back.
Hey, I’m with you on this one. Demeter’s been holding her back from realizing her full potential. You see it, I see it, Thanatos (aka Death) sees it. I think even Aphrodite sees it, and we all thought she was an airhead.
So I just wanted to write and let you know that if things don’t work out with Persephone, I’d be willing to leave everything behind to be with you. You don’t have to worry about me complaining about the lack of sunlight. I’m a night owl. I’m used to the dark. Worried I won’t eat while I’m there? No problem. I have a great appetite. Think I’ll miss my life above ground? Again, not an issue. I have my laptop with high-speed WiFi connection. In case you fear I’ll get bored, don’t. I have lots of books to write and I’d love to spend an eternity writing them. I am very low maintenance, sensible, and (given enough chocolate) very lovable. At least keep me in mind, okay?
Your loving fan,
Ruth (goddess of writing romances–how does that sound, Hades?)
***
A Message from the Larsons: Boycott Ruth Ann Nordin’s Books
(Posted on February 26, 2012)
Dave Larson: We come to you to bring to your attention something horrible that’s happened. Our author, Ruth Ann Nordin, has turned her backs on us to make an utter fool of herself to some weirdo named Hades. What we are asking is for everyone to boycott all of her books until she apologizes for treating us, her own characters, as if we don’t matter.
Tom: Hold on. Who’s the guy on the left?
Richard: I’m Richard.
Joel: You mean, you finally made an appearance?
Richard: I’ve been in a few of the Nebraska books.
Joel: But we’ve never seen you. You’ve never come to this blog before. It’s like you kind of existed but no one really gave you much thought.
Richard: That’s not fair. A couple of her readers wondered if I’d ever get my own book (which he does in Wagon Trail Bride, published in 2016), and since she decided to write one, I became more relevant. I am not like that older brother on Happy Days who showed up in the first couple episodes and then disappeared.
Dave: Well, there won’t be any more Nebraska books unless she comes groveling at our feet for tossing us aside for Hades.
Tom: I don’t know if she tossed us aside. I mean, she mentioned writing books if Hades agreed to ditch Persephone and take her to the Underworld. I assume if she planned to keep writing, she’d write books about us and our children.
Dave: Tom, you are so trusting, always believing the best in everyone. If she goes to the Underworld, she’ll lose that WiFi connection she was talking about. She can’t even go to the park three blocks away from her house without losing it.
Tom: What if Hades has Internet?
Dave: You’re steering this post completely off topic. We’re here to demand that Ruth sends out an apology at once, or else her readers will boycott her books.
Tom: Boycott for what reason, though? She still plans to write Nebraska books. In fact, she okayed Forever Yours, which is your book.
Joel: It’s not about the Nebraska books, Tom. Dave’s miffed because she went all crazy over Hades instead of him. Had she written Dave that letter, there would have been no problems. Dave just can’t handle being out of the spotlight. I’m starting to feel like we’ve been brought here under false pretenses. I, for one, didn’t know she was going to keep writing in the Underworld. The memo Dave sent me said she was going to quit writing to run off with some guy who doesn’t know how to put on a shirt.
Richard: You know, you hear about the youngest being the spoiled one, but in this case, it’s Dave.
Dave: Spoiled?
Richard: Yes. You have two books now and will have a third. I don’t even have mine yet!
Dave: Because you never do or say anything interesting. You’re just kind of…there. Do we even really know you? No. You’re a prop.
Joel: Yep, and now he’s bringing you here to prop up his stupid boycott. You know, I got better things to do with my time. People are sick and in need of a doctor. I’m out of here. *leaves*
Dave: Joel’s always been difficult. Remember all those years when he ran off and hid so he wouldn’t have to do work on our parents’ farm?
Richard: I’m a prop, huh? I have no purpose? I’m just sort of there but not? I don’t need this. I hope no one reads your stupid books, Dave. If Ruth wants to run off to another planet with the king of the Martians, I’ll let her. *leaves*
Tom: Unlike Joel, I read the letter Ruth wrote. We’re not in any danger of losing our place in her life. She wrote (and I quote), “I have lots of books to write and I’d love to spend an eternity writing them.”
Ruth: I also said that I decided to give up writing books based on Greek myths so I could focus on writing romances like historical westerns. At the time I wrote the first draft of My Lord Hades, I was also writing Eye of the Beholder, which is the book that convinced me to focus on writing historical western romances.
Dave: Oh yeah. I forgot that.
Ruth: I think it’s time we did something about that ego of yours, Dave. Thankfully, we’ll have Forever Yours to do that. (This book has not been written as of 2016.)
Dave: What? What are you going to do?
Ruth: I’m going to adjust your attitude so next time you come onto my blog, you won’t be spreading all these lies about me.
Dave: But you were going to go to the Underworld.
Ruth: Give me a break. I knew how My Lord Hades ended. Persephone stayed with him. I wrote the letter for fun because Stephannie Beman made a tabloid post, and we thought it’d be fun if I made up a fan letter. Seriously, I expected my husband to throw a fit, not you. Before you upset me even more, I’m going to end this post. Ah, characters who get an attitude…
Photo credits:
I made the poster with the Larsons asking to boycott my books from images I bought at Dreamstime.com
***
Dave Larson Gets a Fan Letter
(Posted on March 8, 2012)
Special note: Stephannie Beman felt sorry for Dave and created a character who would support Dave since no one else plans to.
*********
Ruth: I went to my inbox, and I noticed an email addressed to Dave Larson. This is the picture that was attached and the letter:
My Dearest, Bravest Dave,
I’m sorry to hear about the betrayal of your dear author. How dare she turn her back on you to run away with some half-breed daemon-god?! You are a better man than Hades could ever be! You’re human! You’re decent! Not some killer pretending to be a good guy!
You are so underappreciated for all you do to help out the others. I applaud you and all you do for those ungrateful characters. You’re trying to get justice for them, and that horrible woman tramples all over you and twists their minds with her lies that they are truly happy. How can they be with all she puts them through?
My author was reading The E
arl’s Inconvenient Wife, and if given the choice of going back to that awful man (Lord Roderick) or joining your Characters for Better Treatment Union, I’d have been signing the paper. I would have backed you up. I would remain at your side, fighting the cause with you. They are all unworthy of such a great man.
Forever yours,
Kyala the tree nymph
Ruth: So there you have it. Dave now has a fan letter from someone who is openly opposing me. I thought I’d bring Dave in to get his reaction to this. So Dave, how does it feel to have such a big supporter of your ridiculous Characters for Better Treatment Union?
Dave: Can you delete that picture?
Ruth: The picture? But I thought you’d be interested in talking about your fan who, for some weird reason, actually agrees with your ridiculous demands.
Dave: I can’t read the letter when there’s a picture of a woman in her undergarments next to it.
Ruth: That’s a dress. In 2012, she’s actually wearing more than some women do.
Dave: In public?
Ruth: Yep.
Dave: That’s not right. She needs to be covered up. The only woman I want to see in that little clothing is Mary, and that’s only when we’re alone.
Ruth: Forget the picture. Can we just get to the letter?
Dave: I can’t. Not until that picture is removed.
Ruth: *grumbles* Who knew you were such a prude when you are adamant that your books contain at least three sex scenes?
Dave: That’s different. It’s me and Mary.
Ruth: Whatever. I removed the picture. Now read the letter.
Dave: *reads it* Okay, I’m done.
Ruth: So Dave, what do you think? This should boost your ego, though I can’t imagine how your ego can get any bigger.
Dave: There’s nothing wrong with my ego. I just have healthy self-esteem.
Ruth: Yeah well, your next book, Forever Yours, will take care of that.
Dave: What?
Ruth: Just get to the letter, okay? It was from Kyala the tree nymph.
Dave: The tree nymph? Is that a political party in 2012 or something?
Ruth: No.
Dave: It sounds like an environmental thing.
Ruth: *snickers* Not exactly.
Dave: I don’t get it. What’s so funny?
Ruth: Nothing. Let’s get to the letter. What do you think?
Dave: Well, it’s weird.
Ruth: How so?
Dave: I have no idea who this person is. You’re not going to co-author another book, are you?
Ruth: No.
Dave: That’s a relief. I’d hate to think you’re dividing your loyalties even more. It’s bad enough you declared your undying devotion to another author’s character.
Ruth: You’ll notice Kyala pointed that out.
Dave: If I knew who Kyala was, then I’d know what to think of it. Is she someone you made up?
Ruth: No. Stephannie made her up.
Dave: So why does Kyala even care what’s going on over here?
Ruth: I don’t know. I guess it’s because you’re human and decent. At least she got the human part right.
Dave: What are you implying?
Mary Larson: I’m not sure I like this, Ruth.
Ruth: I agree. Your husband is being a total idiot, trying to get a boycott on my books and creating a union.
Mary: That’s harmless. No one listens to him.
Dave: Hey!
Mary: I’m sorry, honey, but it’s true. When you start spouting off nonsense about how you’re not treated fairly by our author, we don’t even hear what you’re saying. You can’t take this personally, Ruth. It’s winter. He’s restless and bored. He needs to be back out in the fields working. I promise you, next month when he’s outside more, he won’t even be bugging you.
Ruth: Is that what troubles you, Mary? That he’s bored during the winter and looks for ways to occupy his time? I could change his profession.
Dave: No! I want to be a farmer!
Mary: He wouldn’t be happy doing anything else.
Ruth: I could make him content enough at another job or *cough* get rid of him if he’s irritating you.
Mary: I don’t want any of that. Even if he goes overboard on this blog, I still love him.
Dave: Hello. You don’t have to talk about me as if I’m not here.
Ruth: Mary, I don’t understand what’s bothering you? Talk to me. What’s up?
Mary: I don’t like this letter from Kyala.
Ruth: Ah, I see. Is it because she’s feeding into his massive ego.
Dave: Massive ego?
Mary: No. He might come off as a blowhard on this blog, but he’s not that way in the books, and he’s not that way around me. I think he acts that way to get a rise out of you.
Ruth: Could be. But even so, it’s got to stop. Who can respect an author who keeps having a character who keeps telling everyone how horrible she is?
Mary: I understand your point, and I’d be frustrated, too, if I were in your shoes.
Dave: Good grief!
Ruth: So what bothers you about Kyala?
Mary: I don’t know exactly. She just seems too eager to support him. I mean, she read one blog post and she’s his biggest fan? Then she submits a provocative picture–
Dave: Which I had Ruth remove.
Mary: And I appreciate that, sweetheart.
Dave: Hey, you wouldn’t mind getting that kind of dress, would you? You know, for when we’re alone.
Mary: This isn’t the place to be talking about it.
Dave: Oh, well then, we’re done with this post. Bye, Ruth. Me and my massive ego will be back some other time.
Ruth: So that’s what it takes to get rid of you, huh?
Dave: You think you’re funny, but no one’s laughing. Let’s go, Mary.
Mary: Hold on. Ruth, I’m keeping an eye on the situation. I hope this thing with Kyala doesn’t become a big deal.
Ruth: I have no idea if it will or not. The email popped up in my inbox unexpectedly.
Mary: Okay. Thanks, Ruth. *walks off*
Ruth: I wish all characters were more like your wife, Dave.
Dave: *shrugs and hurries after Mary*
Photo credits:
The idiot tree nymph: ID 3908020 © Sergii Shalimov | Dreamstime.com
***
Mary Larson Responds to Kyala (Dave’s Ultimate Fan)
(Posted on March 12, 2012)
Ruth: Okay, Mary. You said you have something to say to Kyala?
Mary: Yes, I do. Kyala, I have no idea who you are or why you would even care if my husband has issues with his author. The truth of the matter is, Ruth’s characters are very happy with her. She decided to self-publish because the publishers she contacted back in 2008 had a different vision for our books than we did. Granted, it was two books she submitted, but Eye of the Beholder was one of them, and Eye of the Beholder is the book where Dave and I got married. If the publishers had their way, Dave and I would have argued a lot because they said there wasn’t enough internal conflict between us. But we didn’t want to argue. Sure, we had some problems, but we were never inclined to fighting and felt it wasn’t right for us if I had to worry about Dave liking Cassie (a character who seems somewhat like you now that I think about it). So we asked Ruth to let us tell our story our way, and Ruth obliged. Then she granted us a second book and will write a third. Ruth’s done more for Dave than any other character. Dave is just bored right now, but fortunately, it’s about time to start planting crops again, so he’ll stop this nonsense soon. Once he’s out in the fields, he’ll forget this whole thing. There will be no union.