A Deceptive Wager Page 14

  There had been no sly smile on her face, no knowing gleam in her eye, no glance in his direction. She hadn’t given a single indication that she was using her feminine wiles against him. Her expression and the way she had acted all struck him as naïve. She assumed that getting undressed in front of him was the same as if she was getting undressed in front of a lady.

  Only a lady who’d been with a gentleman before would know that gentlemen didn’t view a lady’s body the same way another lady did. If she had any experience, surely she would have given him some indication of it. Even if he, himself, hadn’t ever been with a lady, he was intelligent enough to know when a lady was trying to weaken his resolve.

  Which meant—as hard as it was to come out and admit it—he had been wrong about her.

  He tried to concentrate on the food in front of him, but it was difficult to do that when he was upset with himself for having misjudged her.

  All right, so she wasn’t like his mother. It was apparent she was a virgin. For all he knew, she hadn’t even been kissed.

  He hated this. He hated it when he realized he was wrong about something. The matter didn’t sit well with him. And, worse, since he was dealing with a lady, he didn’t know what to even do about it. Other than Miss Britcher and the maids, he had as little interaction with ladies as possible. He had no idea how to talk to one beyond giving instructions for the job they’d been hired to do.

  He glanced again at Kitty, and this time, she did look at him. And scowled.

  Well, he couldn’t blame her. He’d scowl, too, if he was her. What he needed to do was talk to someone who might give him sound advice. The only person he trusted completely was Roger. This conversation might be an awkward one since he had refused to listen to Roger when Roger had told him that not every lady was wanton like his mother had been. But, considering the mess Aaron had managed to make out of everything, what was the point in worrying about his pride?

  Decision made, he wiped his mouth with the cloth napkin and cleared his throat to get Kitty’s attention. “I think we should do our own thing today.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why? Is there a lady you plan to run off to?”

  He resisted the urge to balk. Was that how he sounded when he accused her of being a seductress? He didn’t realize how his words and the tone in his voice sounded. “I suppose you can come along.”

  “I’m not interested in being in bed with you and another lady.”

  He resisted the urge to glance at the butler who, he was sure, was thinking all sorts of sordid things about him now. “No, that’s not what I meant. I’m not going to visit a lady. I’m going to see my friend.” When her eyebrows rose as if to suggest he meant a female friend, he hurried to add, “He’s Mr. Morris. Roger. Your friend’s husband. You can come along if you want. I’m sure your friend would like to see you.”

  “That’s a clever ploy. By stating things that way, you get to act as if I’m the one who’s inconveniencing you by demanding I chaperone you.”

  “If you think about it, we’ve been chaperoning each other.”

  The logic didn’t impress her, for, once again, she was scowling at him.

  He took a deep breath. He deserved this. This was his due for the way he’d been acting since he met her. “I don’t mind it if you want to chaperone me. I think your friend might enjoy it if you came along.”

  “I will come along. But not because of Lilly. I’ll be coming to make sure you don’t behave like a rake.”

  She returned her attention to her meal, a silent statement that the conversation was over.

  He released his breath and finished what was on his plate. He’d never been in a situation where he’d been so blatantly wrong before. He wasn’t sure he could rectify things, but he had to try. He owed it to her to try. The only person who could help him was Roger. He hoped Roger would have the answer because he certainly didn’t.

  ***

  The entire carriage ride to Lilly’s was uncomfortable. Kitty hadn’t been with Aaron in a carriage since their wedding day, and Gretchen had been with them at the time. Now, she was alone with Aaron. It was even worse than being stuck in a room with him because they were in a confined space. She had a small window to distract her, but he was much too close.

  It was with great relief that she left the carriage. She could never get used to being around him. No matter how long they were married, she wasn’t ever going to be used to him.

  When they reached the front door, Aaron knocked.

  “I’ll need to check the room you and Roger will be in,” she said. “Just in case a lady is hiding behind a couch or behind the drapes.”

  He winced but didn’t respond.

  The front door opened, and the footman welcomed them in with a smile. “I’ll tell Mr. and Mrs. Morris you are here. Your timing is impeccable. The baby is ready for receiving visitors.”

  “Baby?” both Kitty and Aaron asked in unison.

  “Mr. Morris is writing missives announcing the boy’s birth right now,” the footman said. “I was to deliver one to you as soon as he’s done.”

  “I should have asked if it was a good time to come by,” Aaron replied.

  “It’s the perfect time to come by,” Roger called out.

  They turned to Roger who had a few neatly folded missives in his hand.

  Kitty couldn’t recall a time when she’d seen Roger smiling so widely. She bet Lilly was equally as happy.

  Roger sorted through the missives, took one out, and gave the rest to the footman. “Have these delivered.”

  The footman nodded and hurried to do as requested.

  Roger waved for Kitty and Aaron to follow him. “Lilly’s upstairs with the baby. She didn’t want any visitors until her lady’s maid had time to make her presentable. She’s ready now.”

  “So everyone’s all right?” Aaron asked as they went up the stairs.

  “Yes, Lilly and Jackson are fine,” Roger replied.

  “You named him after your grandfather,” Aaron said.

  “I offered to let Lilly come up with the name, but she could only come up with one for a girl. I think she had her heart set on a girl. She was looking at little dresses while she was expecting.” Roger chuckled. “I told her we’ll just have to try again.”

  They reached the top of the stairs, and soon, they were at the door of Lilly’s bedchamber. Roger knocked on the door and called out, “Aaron and Kitty are here.”

  “Already?” came her surprised voice.

  “They must have sensed you had the child,” Roger joked. “Is it safe to come in?”

  “Yes, they can come in,” she replied.

  Roger opened the door, and since he and Aaron looked at her, Kitty went into the room first. Her gaze went to her friend who was sitting in a rocking chair by the window. A sleeping baby was wrapped tightly in a yellow blanket, and he looked as content as could be.

  Kitty couldn’t help but notice that Lilly was wearing one of her nice gowns with a blanket covering her lap and legs. Lilly was the only person Kitty knew who would insist on dressing up after something strenuous like giving birth.

  “Jackson was born just before dawn,” Lilly told Kitty and Aaron, her face more radiant than Kitty could ever remember seeing it. “Would you like to hold him?”

  Kitty wasn’t sure if Lilly was asking that question to her or Aaron, but Roger gently took him from Lilly and held the baby out to Kitty first.

  Despite her apprehension at holding such a small human being, Kitty accepted him. A strange sense of awe came over her. She couldn’t recall ever seeing a newborn. She wouldn’t have imagined that something so little could make her heart warm with pleasure. Up to now, babies had seemed more like an idea than a reality. She hadn’t thought about what it might be like to actually have one. But it was just beginning to occur to her that she would not be in agreement to let Aaron take her child and raise him all by himself. She wanted to raise her child, too. Even if some parents didn’t want to be involved
in their child’s life, she wanted to be.

  There was no way she could carry a child and let Aaron run off with him. She glanced at Aaron, wondering if he was already plotting for the day when she’d give birth to a male child and he’d send her away.

  “I’m glad everyone is doing well,” Aaron told Roger and Lilly. His gaze going directly to Roger, he added, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so happy.”

  “Besides the day I realized Lilly loved me, this is the best day of my life.” Roger rubbed Lilly’s shoulder. “I can’t think of anything that would make my life more perfect.”

  Lilly returned his smile, and Kitty had to look away. She didn’t begrudge her friend a love match. She knew Lilly had wanted to marry ever since she met her. She wanted Lilly to be happy. But seeing how happy Lilly was only emphasized the stark differences between them. Kitty couldn’t have been more miserable. She and Aaron would never have the kind of marriage Lilly and Roger did.

  “You should hold him, too,” Roger told Aaron when Kitty said she was done holding Jackson. “You should get an idea of what it’ll be like when you hold your own child someday.”

  Kitty hesitated to hand Jackson to Aaron. Why did Roger have to say that? Why did he have to remind Aaron that what he wanted most was to have an heir so he could get rid of her? And what right did Aaron have to expect her to hand her child over to him like she didn’t have anything to do with the child’s birth?

  “Kitty?” Lilly asked, a worried frown on her face.

  Kitty glanced at her friend and had to fight back the tears that stung her eyes.

  “Are you all right?” Lilly asked.

  Kitty didn’t want to argue. Not here in this room. She’d done nothing but argue with Aaron ever since she married him, and it was exhausting her. It didn’t help that she hadn’t had more than a few minutes alone since her wedding day.

  Mustering all the self-control she could manage, she handed Jackson to Roger.

  “Maybe you two should go downstairs and play a game,” Lilly told Roger and Aaron.

  “No,” Kitty said, her tone sharp. “Aaron and I have to stay together until our chaperones return.” She wasn’t going to let Aaron get a reprieve. It was because of him her life was so miserable. “He made that very clear.”

  “I did,” Aaron added after a few moments of awkward silence hung in the air. “Our chaperones have been relieved of duty for the moment, so I insisted we would watch each other.”

  Though Lilly’s eyes grew wide, she didn’t say anything. She just turned her gaze to Roger.

  “All right. Would you like to hold Jackson?” Roger asked Aaron.

  Kitty pretended not to notice the unease in Roger’s voice. Of course, this whole thing made him uncomfortable. It made them all uncomfortable.

  Aaron accepted Jackson into his arms. Kitty couldn’t look at him. She didn’t want to see the expression on his face as he plotted for the day he could force her out of the townhouse so he could have their child all to himself. She couldn’t let it happen. She wasn’t going to let it happen. It wasn’t up to Aaron whether he had an heir or not. She had to agree to it.

  Thank goodness he hadn’t taken her up on the offer to try for one yesterday. If she had taken the time to really think through the ramifications of what he was planning to do, she never would have given him the option. Well, she wasn’t going to make that mistake again. She would never let him touch her. She’d rather never have a child than have him run off with the one she had. She did have a choice in things. She was done being under his thumb. From now on, she was going to take control of her life, and he wasn’t going to stop her.

  Chapter Seventeen

  It was with great relief when Aaron finally sat in the carriage. He couldn’t recall a time when things had been more awkward. If only he could go back to his wedding day and do things differently. He would have spent time with Kitty and watched her for himself instead of letting Miss Britcher take over the task.

  That was a grave error on his part. He had rushed ahead to judge her, just as he’d judged every other lady, and he was paying his dues. And, unfortunately, those dues were having an impact on his friendship with Roger. While Roger was still his friend, there had been that underlying tension between them because Aaron hadn’t been able to accept Lilly. Seeing how happy Roger was, he realized that Lilly was as good to him as Roger had told him. He sighed. He was going to have to stop comparing every single lady out there with his mother.

  “You’re not going to have an heir,” Kitty said.

  Surprised she’d spoken, he turned his gaze from the window and looked at her. At once, he regretted that decision. Her face was flushed with anger, and there was a spark of defiance in her eyes.

  “I’m not going to do it,” she told him. “I will never let you be with me in a way that will result in a child. I’m not going to let you take my child from me.”

  Though a part of him noted that this was a sudden change of attitude from yesterday when all she’d wanted to do was get things over with, he felt a stab of guilt as he thought over exactly what she was telling him. He hadn’t thought of things from her perspective before. He hadn’t once considered she might want to be a mother to his child.

  His own mother hadn’t cared about him. She had only been concerned about her many lovers. Even when he was a child and she was still living with his father, she’d told him she had other things to tend to when he went to her for attention. She never once showed him any indication that she wanted him. His father, on the other hand, had shown interest in him, and the two had been close.

  Having just seen Lilly, he could tell Lilly very much wanted to be a mother and that she was excited by the prospect of watching her son grow up. He had no doubt that Jackson was going to be a much-loved little boy, and a part of him had felt a flicker of envy as he’d watched Lilly fawn over the child. Why couldn’t his mother have been that way with him?

  He bit back the urge to tell Kitty that he wanted a child. He hadn’t saved all those books he’d had as a child because he wanted to go back and reread them. He’d always envisioned reading them to his son like his father had read those stories to him. In the past, he’d assumed he’d have a son, but it was just now occurring to him that the child could be a girl.

  And then what? Could he dismiss her because she was a girl instead of a boy? No, no he couldn’t. Whether the child was a boy or a girl, it would still be his.

  “Marrying you was the worst thing that ever happened to me,” Kitty said as she fiddled with her gloves. “My plan was to remain unmarried because I was afraid I’d end up with a gentleman who was like my horrible brother, but you’re worse.” She looked at him. “At least when my brother takes a wife, he’ll never ask her to do without the child she’ll have. I’m going to leave your townhouse and live elsewhere. I demand you give me a portion of the dowry. That dowry was money my father saved so I could live on my own. You didn’t want this marriage any more than I did. We don’t get along. All we ever do is make each other miserable.”

  “I don’t think we have to rush into something as dramatic as you leaving the townhouse,” Aaron replied. “You’re upset, and understandably so. But we should talk about this. I think—”

  “I don’t care what you think. I don’t want to be married to you. If I could, I would dissolve this marriage, but that’s impossible. I don’t care if you take a million lovers. You can do whatever you want. I’m going to write Mr. Stonewall a missive and relieve him of his duties. Then I’m going to pack my things and leave. I’ll be gone within the hour. You,” she glared at him, “will send me my portion of the dowry to Lord and Lady Valentine’s townhouse.”

  “This isn’t necessary,” he hurried to say. “We’re both upset. I realize that seeing Jackson gave us a different perspective on things, but we need to take some time to sort through everything.”

  “I don’t want to sort through anything. I’m tired of being at your command. I don’t care if a wife is expected to d
o what her husband wants. I’m not going to do that. I’m going to do what’s best for me.”

  The carriage came to a stop. He reached out to stop her, but she threw the door open and ran up the townhouse steps. Ignoring the footman’s startled expression, he hurried after her. Being a gentleman, he should be able to catch up to her, but as it turned out, she was quick on her feet and managed to make it to her bedchamber before he could reach her.

  She slammed the door in his face.

  He jerked back and waited for a few seconds before knocking on the door. Yes, he supposed he could have barged in, but he didn’t feel like going in there unless she gave him permission. He’d already done enough to control everything. When she didn’t respond, he knocked on the door again.

  “Kitty, I…I…” He glanced around the hall. While no servants were nearby, he didn’t exactly relish the idea that one might be listening. He had to speak loudly so she could hear him through the door. “Will you let me in so we can talk?”

  “No! Go away! I need to pack.”

  “We can talk first. Then, if you still want to pack and leave, I’ll let you.” Even as he made the promise, he winced.

  She didn’t reply.

  He waited for a few more seconds and knocked again. “I’d rather have this conversation in private.”

  Still, she didn’t answer.

  He stood outside the door and debated the best course of action. He couldn’t barge in there. That would only make things worse. He could keep knocking, but the knocking he’d done so far hadn’t gotten him anywhere.

  He paced in front of the door as he debated what he could say that would hopefully make things better. Did he come out and admit he was wrong? Did he admit he should have taken the time to get to know her before assuming the worst? Did he tell her it was now obvious to him that she was virgin since she had no idea what thoughts went through a gentleman’s mind when he was alone in a room with a lady? No. He should avoid that one. That would make her think he only had lustful thoughts on his mind, and it wasn’t the impression he wanted to give her or any of the servants who might overhear him.