To Have and To Hold Page 9

  doctor doesn’t expect him to make it beyond a week. Your timing is good.”

  “Quite,” Leah said with a firm nod and made eye contact with Mary. “And I must say, you

  haven’t changed at al .”

  “Wel , she does look a tad bit older,” Katie told Leah.

  Mary opened her mouth, ready to ask why Katie didn’t talk directly to her, when Dave and

  Calvin entered the parlor. Relieved, Mary shifted aside on the couch so Dave could sit on her

  other side.

  As Calvin sat in a chair near Grace, Grace said, “I was just explaining that Mary doesn’t

  remember any of us.”

  “That’s a real shame, Mary,” Calvin replied.

  “So, you’re a farmer?” Leah asked Dave.

  “Yes,” Dave said as he reached for Mary’s hand and squeezed it. “I grow corn and beans.”

  Katie’s gaze went from Dave’s hand to Leah, and Mary shifted uneasily on the couch. She

  didn’t like Katie or Leah.

  Dave turned to her. “Do you need to lie down?”

  Just as Mary thought to say it might be a good idea, the storm door opened and four children

  came bounding into the parlor, fol owed by an old woman. The group stood up, and Mary was

  beginning to think the crowded area of Omaha was nothing compared to this cramped room.

  “Cal and Charity, don’t run,” Grace admonished and stopped Charity before she could plow

  right into Mary. “Be careful where you go, honey.” She placed her arm around Mary’s

  shoulders. “Look who’s here, Mother. It’s Mary. Mary, this is our mother.”

  Mary smiled. “Hel o, Mother.”

  To her surprise, her mother shook her hand instead of hugging her. “When you boarded the

  train, I thought for sure, we’d never see you again, but here you are. And you brought your

  husband?”

  “Yes, ma’am. I’m Dave.”

  As she greeted him, Mary noticed the way Leah raised her eyebrow at Katie who shook her

  head in response. She frowned. Exactly what was the meaning behind the looks they kept

  giving each other? She tried to gather up a memory, even the smal est one, to help her better

  understand her relationship to her sisters. She gathered she and Katie didn’t get along so wel

  if Katie refused to speak to her directly. But was it as awkward with Leah?

  “Wel , she must be tired from the long trip,” her mother said, breaking her out of her thoughts.

  Mary blinked and turned her attention back to them, realizing she’d missed part of what they

  said. “What is it?”

  “I was about to take her upstairs to lie down,” Dave told her mother, bringing his hand up to

  Mary’s elbow for support.

  Her mother nodded. “That’s a good idea. Her father wil be up soon, and when he is, she’l be

  rested enough to see him.”

  “Wil you be coming back down while she rests?” Katie asked Dave.

  “No,” he replied. “I’m going to stay with her.” Turning to her mother, he added, “Wil you let us

  know when her father is awake?”

  “Of course,” her mother agreed.

  Everyone moved aside in the smal parlor while Dave led Mary out of the room. On her way to

  the doorway, she jerked right before she walked into a tal man.

  “Oh, that’s Chet, our oldest brother,” Grace cal ed out above the people behind Mary who were

  talking.

  “It’s been a long time,” Chet said with a smile. “Nice to see you again, Mary, and it’s nice to

  meet your husband.”

  Mary had no idea how she was going to keep everyone’s names and faces straight. As it was,

  her head was spinning. And to think she had more brothers and sisters to get acquainted with!

  She grateful y al owed Dave to take her upstairs to what he said was her old bedroom.

  She didn’t know what to expect from the old room. It wasn’t as comfortable as the one she and

  Dave shared in Nebraska. This one had bare white wal s, a couple of beds and a dresser.

  “That’s odd,” she said as she faced the area above the dresser where a mirror should be. “I

  wonder where the mirror is.”

  He shrugged as he pushed two of the beds together. “Maybe they needed to use it in another

  room.”

  For some reason, that didn’t seem right. On the edge of her awareness, something seemed to

  creep in, but the more she tried to draw it out, the harder it was to grasp. After a frustrating

  minute, she gave up and turned to Dave who was putting their clothes away.

  She didn’t know why it didn’t occur to her just how good looking he was before. Of course, she

  knew he was attractive. She’d have to be blind not to notice that. But he was more than just

  good looking. He was gorgeous.

  What is he doing with her? That’s what the look Katie and Leah exchanged meant.

  Dave glanced over at her as he finished tucking the last of their clothes away. Pushing in the

  last drawer, he smiled. “You’l feel better after you get a chance to rest.”

  She nodded and went over to the bed they’d be sharing. He was probably right. The trip to

  Maine had been a long one. Releasing her breath, she settled onto the bed and waited for him

  to join her so she could snuggle up to him. He brought his arms around her, and she closed her

  eyes, content to enjoy this moment of peace before she had to face her family again.

  Chapter Ten

  “Mary?”

  Mary stirred in her sleep, reluctant to leave the peaceful world of dreams where she was back

  in Nebraska with Dave and their children. They were happy, and for some reason, the mirrors

  covering every wal didn’t bother her. She sensed there was something significant about the

  mirrors. She suspected her mind was trying to tel her something.

  “Mary?”

  There was the voice again. Deep, masculine, gentle. It belonged to Dave. She smiled and

  opened her eyes. He was sitting on the bed and brushing the stray strands of hair from her

  face.

  “I didn’t mean to fal asleep,” she said as she sat up.

  “You needed the rest.” He put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her. “Feel better?”

  “Yes.”

  She leaned into him and sighed. They decided to stay here for two weeks, but she wished they

  hadn’t agreed to stay longer than one. She wanted nothing more than to be back home.

  “Your mother was at the door right before I woke you up. She said your father’s awake. Are

  you ready to see him?” Dave whispered.

  She took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes.”

  He helped her to her feet and walked with her to the door. “I told her that I thought you would,

  but I wanted to be sure first.” He opened the door and she stepped onto the hal way. He

  fol owed behind and motioned to the door furthest away from them. “Your mother says he’s in

  there.”

  Mary wasn’t sure what she expected when it came to her father. Wiping her hands on her

  dress, she joined Dave in strol ing down the hal . “Wil you be coming in with me?”

  “He asked to speak to you alone first.”

  “Oh.” Despite her apprehension, she pushed forward and stopped at the closed door to her

  father’s room. With an uncertain glance in Dave’s direction, she knocked on the door.

  “I’l be right here,” Dave assured her. “When you’re both ready for me, just let me know.”

  She nodded again and turned the doorknob which felt unusual y cool to the touch since it was

  the
middle of summer. Forcing aside her unease, she pushed the door open and peered into

  the dim room. The curtains were drawn but a kerosene lamp was lit on the smal table by the

  bed. A light breeze blew past the curtains to cool things off a bit but not nearly enough. Her

  gaze went to her father who rested in the bed with the covers up to his chest. She wanted to

  ask him if he was hot, but he shivered and pul ed the covers up to his neck.

  He turned his head in her direction and smiled. “Mary, is it real y you?”

  Immediately, she got the memory of her father’s support and care for her. Relaxing, she

  entered the room, shut the door behind her and stepped toward him. “Yes, Pa, it’s me.”

  His eyes watered as a smile crossed his face. “Wel , aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”

  Smiling in return, she sat in the chair next to his bed. “It’s good to see you, too, but I don’t

  remember anything from my life here. I had a fal and—”

  He raised his hand to stop her. “I know. Your mother told me. I’m sorry, but it might be just

  as wel .”

  It might be just as wel ? That seemed like such an odd thing for him to say. “Why?”

  He pointed to her face, and his smile grew wider. “You look beautiful, Mary. That husband of

  yours is good to you.”

  “Yes, he is. I’m fortunate to have him.”

  “Then it’s good you went to Nebraska. I’m sure some day the men in this town would have

  understood what a good wife you’d make them, but there was no sense in you waiting for years

  until it happened.”

  Curious about his choice of words, she got ready to ask him to explain what he meant when he

  had a coughing fit. She quickly stood up and handed him a clean handkerchief before she

  propped him up so he could get the phlegm out of his lungs. When he stopped coughing, she

  helped him get comfortable and sat back in her chair.

  After he took a cleansing breath, he continued, “You have two children?”

  “Yes. A boy and a girl. Isaac is almost five, and Rachel’s one.”

  His eyes twinkled. “I remember how much you wanted children when you lived here. I’m glad I

  got to see the day when you had them.”

  “Did I think I wouldn’t?”

  “You didn’t think there was a chance as long as you stayed here.” He reached out for her hand,

  so she clasped her hand around his. “You must remember that no matter what anyone says,

  you made the right choice. You had to do what was best for you, and staying here wasn’t it.

  There’s nothing here to miss.”

  Her eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t understand. Was I unhappy here?”

  He nodded. “Yes, you were. You never complained, though. Complaining wasn’t your way.

  You were always such a gentle soul. That’s the kind that gets taken advantage of, you know.

  But it’s also the thing that makes for a good wife. Speaking of which, I’d like to meet that

  husband of yours who’s been good to you.”

  “Of course.” She released his hand and stood up so she could open the door. Peering around

  the doorway, she saw Dave leaning against a wal . When he looked at her, she motioned for

  him to come into the room. “He’s ready to see you now,” she whispered.

  Dave nodded and entered the room. Unsure of what to do, Mary held back while he

  approached her father’s bed. He reached out and shook her father’s hand. “It’s nice to meet

  you, sir.”

  “Thank you for being good to my little girl.” Glancing in her direction, he asked, “Would you

  leave us alone, Mary?”

  Mary obliged him and slipped out of the room, shutting the door softly behind her. She stood in

  the hal way for a moment before someone cal ed out to her from the stairs. Turning in the

  direction of the voice, she smiled when she saw Grace. With Grace, she was beginning to feel

  an inkling of friendship similar to what she had with Sal y, April, and Jenny.

  Making her way toward Grace, she smiled. “It’s good to see you.”

  Grace stepped in her direction. “Did you see Father?”

  “I did. He seems happy, despite his condition.”

  “He is.”

  The two stopped close to the bedroom Dave and Mary were staying in, and Mary decided if

  she could ask anyone about the missing mirror, it would be Grace. Clearing her throat, she

  asked, “Why isn’t there a mirror in my room? Did someone take it out of there because they

  needed it?”

  Grace’s smile faltered. “You didn’t want a mirror in there while we were growing up.”

  “Why?”

  “Does it matter? It’s al in the past. Do you have a mirror in your bedroom in Nebraska?”

  “Of course, I do. I thought everyone had mirrors in their bedrooms. How else can you see

  whether or not you combed your hair right or look presentable after dressing?”

  With a sigh, Grace shrugged. “You said you didn’t need a mirror to tel you those things. You

  said you just knew.”

  “But if that’s true, wouldn’t I have refused to let my husband put a mirror in our bedroom?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe being with him gave you a reason to want to have a mirror. Al the

  letters you wrote to me indicated that he’s wonderful to you.”

  Her eyebrows furrowing, Mary thought it was strange that Grace and her father emphasized

  how good Dave was to her, as if having a man be that way toward her was something unusual

  for her. But then her father had said she hadn’t been happy with her life in Maine. She

  debated whether or not to express her feelings to her sister, but she got the feeling she could

  tel Grace anything and receive an honest answer. And if part of the reason she came here

  was to learn about her past, then who better to go to than someone who’d been a dear friend?

  Making sure they were far enough from her father’s door so Dave wouldn’t overhear in case he

  came out of the room, she lowered her voice further and asked, “I’ve been having dreams

  about mirrors every time I go to sleep. There’s something important about them. Why didn’t I

  want the mirror in our bedroom while we were growing up, Grace? There has to be more than

  you’re tel ing me.”

  “It doesn’t matter, Mary.”

  “Then why do you look like you’re afraid to tel me?”

  Grace brought her hands together and stared at them for a long moment. “There’s nothing

  wrong with the way you look.”

  “No, there’s not. But what does that have to do with anything?”

  “A lot. It had a lot to do with how you saw yourself when you lived here. There were some

  people who were unflattering in the terms they used to describe you, and after a while, you

  came to believe them.”

  “Unflattering? How?”

  Shooting her a firm look, Grace said, “I won’t go into detail, and there’s nothing you can say to

  make me.”

  Disappointed but understanding her sister only wished to protect her, she nodded. “Alright. So

  people didn’t think I was attractive, and over time, I accepted what they said about me.” She

  was a grown woman with a husband and children. Surely, she could handle that aspect of her

  past.

  “They were wrong. I never agreed with them. You have your own type of beauty that shines

  through in everything you do.”

  Mary knew her sister meant that as a compliment, but it seemed to mean that others didn’t see

&
nbsp; that type of beauty. What others valued was physical beauty, like the kind Grace had. “You

  never receive unflattering comments on your appearance.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this. You have a good husband. You’ve been blessed abundantly.”

  She cleared her throat. “I came up to tel you we’re making supper. Are you up to eating after

  a long trip?”

  In al the commotion of the day, she’d forgotten al about eating. “Yes. I can help with the

  meal.” She glanced back at her father’s closed door. Whatever her father and husband were

  discussing, they were taking a long time. At least, it was longer than the talk she’d had with her

  father. She wondered what her father was tel ing him. Shaking her head, she figured her

  father was learning about Dave and his farm. They had much more to catch up on than she

  and her father did. Turning her attention back to Grace, she asked, “Wil it be the whole family

  eating here?”

  “Oh goodness no.” Grace took her by the hand and led her down the steps. “We’d never fit

  that many people in the dining room. It’s just you, me, Mother, our husbands, and my children.

  Father wil eat soup in his bed. He’s not up to going down the steps.” In a somber tone, she

  continued, “I expect the next time he goes downstairs, our brothers wil be carrying him to his

  coffin.”

  Mary swal owed the lump in her throat. This was a shame. Without her memories of her

  father, she didn’t have much to keep him alive in her heart. Before she saw him and got the

  warm feeling from being around him, she hadn’t felt much of anything at the news of his

  impending death. But now she wished she had more to remember. She decided she’d have to

  make the most of the time she did have with him.

  When she and Grace reached the kitchen, they got to work and helped their mother with the

  meal while the children set the table. By the time Dave came down from the stairs, supper was

  ready. She checked the clock and realized he’d been talking to her father for almost an hour.

  She considered going over to him and asking him what they talked about, but her mother

  announced supper was ready and Cal Jr. ran off to get his father from the parlor.

  “I’l take your father some soup after we eat,” her mother told her and Grace. “He likes to nap