His Convenient Wife Page 8
“I thought since I’ve taken care of children before, this wouldn’t be so difficult,” Harriett continued. “But ever since I married Stan, I feel like I can’t get her to do anything I want. The only exception is when it’s bedtime. For some reason, she lets me tuck her in bed and read to her.”
“And when she’s napping, she’ll let you hold her,” he added.
She glanced at the sleeping girl in her arms. The girl was such a cute thing. Harriett tucked her hair into her hat then pulled her closer. In response, Maggie let out a contented sigh and snuggled deeper in her arms. When Maggie slept, she was really an adorable child. Harriett wished she was like this when she was awake.
Turning her attention back to Adam, she said, “When she’s awake, she fights me on everything. She doesn’t like what I pick for her to wear, she doesn’t want to eat what I cook, and she doesn’t want to play with any of the toys I give her. She doesn’t even want to be near me. If I go to one room, she runs to another. And what’s worse is that she seems to like everyone more than she likes me.”
“To be fair, you’re the only one who is trying to be her mother. I think she’s not resisting you as much as fighting any attachment she might develop with you.”
“Why would she do that?” Harriett thought the girl would love to have a mother in her life.
“Well, you said you married Stan because her real mother doesn’t want her.”
“Probably because her real father refused to marry her. How was she supposed to raise a child all by herself?”
“It doesn’t matter what her parents did or didn’t do. What matters is what Maggie thinks happened.” Adam turned his sympathetic gaze to the girl. “All she knows is that her mother isn’t in her life, and from her perspective, her mother doesn’t love her. If you were in her place, what would you think of a woman who came into your life and told you she was going to be your mother?”
Harriett considered his words and looked back at the girl, seeing her in a new light. Adam’s reasoning made perfect sense. Maybe the girl was fighting her because she was trying to protect herself from being hurt.
“What should I do then?” Harriett asked.
“Be patient. Give her time to understand you’re not going anywhere. She’s going to test you. She’ll keep pushing you away for a while to see what you’ll do. But sooner or later, when she comes to realize you’re sincere, she’ll let you in.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
With another glance at Maggie, she smiled. She’d love nothing more than for the girl to accept her as her mother. And maybe with enough time, it would happen.
Chapter Nine
[Two weeks later, Stan debated if he should invite Harriett over to his parents’ house for supper. She’d been diligent in making meals every day since they got married, never once complaining when Maggie refused to eat something she made. She’d even gone beyond what was expected and set out several other dishes for Maggie to try.
For Stan, it was the best thing that ever happened since he left home. Her meals were among the best he’d ever had. His were mediocre at best, and he mostly made a lot of bread because Maggie would eat it. But Harriett wanted the girl to eat more than bread, something he had wanted all along but couldn’t figure out how to get her to do it. And as it turned out, Harriett was having the same problem. This particular evening was no different.
Maggie threw her spoon to the floor and crossed her arms. “No. I will not eat it.”
Harriett let out a long sigh. Though she didn’t say anything, Stan could tell she was quickly coming to the point where she was ready to give up. He’d often felt that way himself when it came to Maggie, so he understood her frustration.
Stan glanced at the girl, who was being even more obstinate than usual. The last thing he wanted to do was step in where he wasn’t welcome. Harriett knew more about children than he did, and besides, she was now Maggie’s mother, and as such, he had a responsibility to let her take the reins. If he tried to step in and help, would Harriett appreciate it or would she resent it? If they’d said more than a couple words to each other during the day, it’d be easier to figure out how to best handle the situation.
“If you don’t want the soup,” Harriett began in a carefully controlled voice, “then have a dinner roll.”
As Harriett reached for a roll, Maggie shook her head. “Want biscuit.”
“I made a biscuit this morning, but you didn’t want it.”
“Want now.”
“No. You’ll wait until breakfast.”
“No. Want now.”
Harriett went silent and glanced at the dishes she’d made. “You can’t have pudding if you don’t eat something on this table.”
“Biscuits!”
Stan ran his thumb along the edge of his spoon as he looked over at Harriett whose back was partially turned to him. Harriett insisted on sitting to his left at the table instead of across from him. He knew she did it so she wouldn’t have to look at him while they ate. It was a way to put distance between them without being obvious about it. And it was hard to determine the best course of action when she refused to make eye contact with him.
But he would have to chance it and step in. “What if she has a biscuit and no pudding?” he ventured.
Harriett finally turned her attention to him, and when she did, he knew right away he’d said the wrong thing. Her lips formed a thin line. She was already at her wit’s end, and all he did was add to her frustration.
“I’m sorry,” he quickly told her before she snapped at him. Then, because he’d already said too much, he lowered his head and brought another spoonful of soup into his mouth.
“Pa said biscuit,” Maggie spoke up, further condemning him.
He looked at Maggie and shook his head.
But Maggie wasn’t to be deterred. “Gimme biscuit!”
“That’s enough, Maggie,” he said. “Your ma said you need to pick something in front of you to eat, and that’s what you’ll do.”
“She not ma,” Maggie argued.
Maggie’s face turned red, a clear indication that she was either going to cry or scream—or both. Stan caught the flicker of dread in Harriett’s expression and decided he had to do something for her sake. He went over to the shelf and brought the plate of leftover biscuits to the table. He gave one to Maggie.
“That’s all you’re getting tonight,” he told her. “And Harriett is your mother. I want you to apologize to her right now for saying she isn’t.”
Maggie’s face resumed its normal color, and she bit into the biscuit.
“Maggie,” he said while the girl proceeded to shove the rest of the biscuit into her mouth. “You are going to say you’re sorry to your ma.”
The girl muttered something through the food stuffed in her mouth. With a sigh, he covered the plate and returned it to the shelf. He’d just have to assume it was an apology. It was better than nothing, he supposed.
When he returned to the table, he picked up his spoon to finish his soup but realized Harriett’s posture was stiff. Sure he wasn’t going to like what he saw, he directed his gaze to her. She wasn’t looking at him, but her arms were crossed, her eyebrows furrowed, and her lips tight.
He shifted uncomfortably in the chair. Should he come out and ask her what he did wrong, wait for her to tell him, or ignore it and hope the whole thing blew over? No matter what he did, he didn’t think he could win. After a tense moment, he collected his bowl, plate, and cup and carried them to the sink.
“What are you doing?” Harriett snapped.
“Cleaning up my mess. I can’t eat anything else,” he replied. “I thought I’d start in on the evening chores.”
She didn’t respond, but he could feel the weight of her stare on him as he emptied the rest of his food into the container where they put the pigs’ slop. He didn’t know if his apprehension showed or not, but it was hard to act as if nothing was bothering him.
Alright, so ma
ybe running off made him a coward, but it’d also buy him some time on asking Harriett what he should have done. With her being angry, he didn’t have the courage to do it now. He threw on his hat and coat then hurried out to the barn.
***
Harriett waited until Maggie was in bed before she confronted Stan. He was still in the barn, and from the looks of it, he was almost done raking the last stall out. The last thing she wanted was for Maggie to know that what happened during supper had greatly upset her.
Plus, she thought waiting would calm her. And she was calmer. To a point. But not enough, because as soon as she found Stan raking the last of the manure out the door, she snapped, “Why did you give Maggie the biscuit?”
He stopped and turned to face her, and for once, she didn’t feel so weak in the knees when he turned those amazing eyes in her direction. Who would have thought anger could be such a powerful antidote?
Ignoring the observation, she crossed her arms and glared at him. “Well?”
“I was only trying to help.”
“Help? You thought by giving her a biscuit you were helping?”
“Yes, I did. But then I realized I should have stayed out of it and let you two battle it out like you always do.” He turned back to raking the manure and straw toward the doorway.
“I told her she couldn’t have a biscuit,” she said. “When you gave her one instead, it only taught her that she can divide us. It won’t matter what I say because she’ll know you’ll give her what she wants.”
He shoved the manure and straw out of the barn. “It was just one biscuit, Harriett.”
“One is all it takes to undo everything I’ve worked so hard on.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is.” She waited until he was facing her before she continued, “Stan, I can’t get her to obey me if you’re going to contradict me.”
He moaned. “You’re making too much of this. She’s only three.”
“She might be three, but she’s smart for her age.” As he set the rake against the wall of the barn, she added, “Remember that day I took her to see my ma, and you promised her a cookie if she behaved?”
“I promised her a cookie on several occasions when she wasn’t behaving and you wanted to take her somewhere,” he pointed out. “Are you saying I can’t give her a cookie when she returns?”
“To be honest, I don’t like the fact that she gets a cookie when she misbehaves.”
“And how else are you going to get her out of here?” He walked up to her. “You weren’t going to go anywhere with her unless she knew she’d get a cookie. Sometimes I have to do that because it’s the only thing that works.”
“All she’s going to learn is that she’ll get rewarded for misbehaving.” She waited for him to say something, but he sighed, his hands resting at his sides. “But besides all that, it’s important we don’t contradict each other in front of her. She needs to think we’re in complete agreement about everything. I didn’t like giving her a cookie, but I did it when we got back because you told her she was going to have one. I want her to know that when you say something, I’ll honor your word. You should do the same for me.”
A moment passed before he threw his hands up in the air. “Fine. I admit it. I’m horrible at being a parent.” He pulled off his gloves and set them in a box by the door. “I don’t know how to do anything. Why do you think I needed a mother for her? You see how awful I am at this.”
Harriett told herself not to interpret his words to mean that he only wanted her because of Maggie. He never would have married her if the girl hadn’t needed a mother or if someone like Rose had been willing to marry him. Maybe he didn’t mean it the way she took it, or maybe he did. She couldn’t tell for sure. And quite frankly, she wasn’t interested in figuring it out. The important thing was Maggie. She could go back to her bedroom and cry when this conversation was over.
After she managed to force back her tears, she said, “In the future, please don’t do that. I need you to stand with me.”
“I will. And I’m sorry I didn’t.”
As ironic as it was, his soft tone only made her feel worse. She offered a curt nod and hurried back to the house. She didn’t make it to the porch before her cheeks were wet with her tears.
***
“Why don’t you see Rose?” Jacob asked the next day when Harriett went to the mercantile.
Harriett glanced at Maggie who was eating the piece of licorice her brother had given her. Under ordinary circumstances, she would have protested it, but she was exhausted after only getting four hours of sleep the previous night. It took a lot of effort to keep her sobs quiet so no one would overhear her. And even when she finally fell asleep, she’d had nightmares where Stan was telling someone he wished she was Rose. Would she always walk in her sister’s shadow?
“Harriett?” Jacob asked, leaning on the counter as he made eye contact with her.
She let out a long sigh and dabbed her eyes with her handkerchief. God help her. She couldn’t recall ever crying so much in her entire life. Stan didn’t love her. He never did. Why couldn’t she get past the desire to be loved by him? What was wrong with her?
“I can’t go to her about this, Jacob,” she whispered so Maggie wouldn’t hear and—God forbid—tell Stan.
“Sure you can. You can go to her about anything.”
She shook her head. “No, I can’t.”
“You two are closer than anyone else I know. Growing up, you did everything together and kept secrets from the rest of us. Why not talk to her? You two are twins. She understands you like no one else does. It doesn’t matter if Stan wanted to marry her. She didn’t want to marry him.”
Harriett shook her head and took a deep breath to settle her nerves. “Everything comes so easy for her. If she had married him, she’d know it was because he wanted to be with her, not because he needed someone to help him with Maggie.”
“That doesn’t matter. She misses you. Do you know she came in here the other day and asked how you were doing? She shouldn’t be coming to me to find out if you’re happy or not. You should be the one telling her that.”
“I’m not ignoring her, Jacob. I just need some time, that’s all.”
“Time away from your dearest friend?”
He didn’t understand. And why should she expect him to? He wasn’t like Adam. Besides, she came here to pick up something. It didn’t matter what it was. As long as she got off of Stan’s property, she could get a reprieve from him. She couldn’t even bring herself to face him that morning for breakfast. She’d left him a note and a couple of muffins on a plate then stayed in bed. Fortunately, Maggie slept in. Otherwise, Harriett wouldn’t have gotten away with it.
And Harriett had waited until he was in the field before leaving with Maggie, leaving yet another note telling him she had to go to town to pick something up. Now, she just needed to figure out what the something was so she didn’t come home empty handed.
“More licowice?” Maggie asked, looking up at him with large imploring eyes.
Harriett bit her tongue. Why did the girl insist on being sweet to everyone but her?
“I don’t know. I got to ask your ma.” Jacob turned his gaze to Harriett. “What do you think?”
“Let her have it,” Harriett replied.
The girl did, after all, stop screaming and crying once Harriett got the buggy out of the barn. It was better than if she’d acted up the entire way to town. And as far as Harriett was concerned, it was progress. Slow progress, but progress nonetheless.
“Here you go,” Jacob said and handed her another piece of candy. “Your ma is pretty good to you, isn’t she?”
Not surprising, the girl only shrugged as she bit into it.
Jacob shot Harriett a sympathetic smile. “Go see Rose. I’m telling you, Rose is miserable without you.”
“I just can’t. Not right now. Maybe in a month or two.”
“You’re going to wait that long to see her?”
“You really think that’s possible? You’ve been in love with him since you were thirteen, and from what I see, time hasn’t worked in your favor.”
She scowled but reminded herself he hadn’t said it to be mean. He truly believed she’d never get a handle on her emotions. But he was wrong. Sure, she misjudged how long it was going to take, but it was possible. Very possible. If Maggie could resist her, she should be able to resist Stan.
“Anyway,” she said, changing the topic, “I think I’ll take some flour, yeast, and…and…” She glanced around the store then her gaze went to Maggie who really enjoyed licorice. “I’ll take a bag of that.” She pointed to the licorice. Maybe it would help Maggie behave.
“You got it.”
After Jacob collected the things for her, she put it on Stan’s account and led Maggie out to the buggy. She sat in the seat for a long moment, debating what else she could do to avoid going home.
“Want more,” Maggie said, her hands already reaching for the licorice.
“Not until we get home,” Harriett replied, taking it out of her reach. “And not unless you are good the entire way back.”
“Be good.” Maggie folded her hands in her lap and smiled up at her.
Why couldn’t the girl be like this more often? Why did it always have to take a treat to make her behave? Why couldn’t she behave because Harriett wanted her to? Why couldn’t she accept Harriett as her mother? Why did everything have to be such a struggle?
Heaven help her if this was all it was ever going to be. With a heavy sigh, she picked up the reins, released the brake, and led the horse back home.
Chapter Ten
As soon as Harriett and Maggie returned, Stan went over to them. “I can take care of the horse,” he told Harriett.
She muttered a thank you and handed him the reins before gathering the small box of items she’d purchased in town.