Brave Beginnings Read online

  “You’re not dreaming. Woape told me he’s been pining for you ever since you left. Members of his tribe insisted he find a wife, and they wanted him to marry another Mandan. They were ready to force his hand on the matter. You got out there just in time. That’s a good sign, Julia. It’s God’s doing, I tell you.”

  “Can you imagine if Gary and Woape came out here a week later?” She shivered at the thought.

  “The timing was perfect.” She patted her niece’s arm. “While you take Chogan to the preacher and make it official, I’ll see what I can do about getting your room ready. A couple needs a bigger bed than the one you got, and he’ll need space for his things. You should get him some clothes. I’ll give you the money once we’re done with breakfast.”

  “I’m the luckiest woman in the world. Chogan truly is a wonderful man.”

  Her aunt gave her a knowing smile. “That he is, and I’m happy you finally found a man you can get excited about. You wouldn’t have been happy with Ernest.”

  Julia knew her aunt was right. Ernest had been kind, but he wasn’t Chogan. “Maybe Ernest will find someone better suited for him.”

  “I hope so. Now, let’s get breakfast going.” Erin motioned to the potato Julia stopped slicing into. “Chogan might be patient, but patience has its limits. I saw the way he was looking at you, and he’s eager to be your husband.”

  Blushing, Julia returned to the task at hand.

  ~~********~~

  Chapter 8

  Chogan assumed that as soon as they left the man Julia and her aunt called the preacher, they would return to the house where he and Julia could be alone, but when Erin and Woape took Penelope back to the house and Julia didn’t follow, he realized he was wrong.

  “You will need clothes,” Julia told him when he asked her why they stayed outside the preacher’s house.

  White man’s clothes. He knew this was what he agreed to when he came here to live with her. He had to shed off his past and embrace the new. And she was right. The white man would not let him work here unless he dressed like other white men. He glanced at his clothes and then back at her. He couldn’t imagine his life without her; he loved her more than he loved his first wife. But his first marriage had been an agreement between families. This second marriage was a choice.

  He took her hand. “We get clothes.”

  “Oh. We probably shouldn’t hold hands.”

  He frowned. She hadn’t rejected his touch before. “Why not?”

  She looked at him and, seeming to understand the injured tone in his voice, she smiled. “I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just that I don’t think it’s allowed.”

  “People in tribe do.”

  “But we are here.”

  She was right, and he shouldn’t have been surprised, and yet, he was. Many things would be different. “I learn.” He pulled the robe around himself and waited for her instruction.

  She appeared uncertain, as if a silent battle waged in her mind.

  “It is good. I learn quick,” he assured her.

  “No. It’s not that. It’s...” She shrugged, peered up at him and whispered, “I do want to hold your hand.”

  Her meaning dawned on him. So she wasn’t afraid he couldn’t adjust to this new life. That made him feel better. “I understand. We hold hands when alone. In house.”

  “Yes.” Looking relieved, she motioned down the sidewalk. “Uncle Clarence gets his clothes fitted at Anthony’s store. We will get your clothes there.”

  He nodded and followed her, all too aware of the stares people sent their way. Turning his gaze to Julia, he wondered if she noticed it too, but she didn’t seem to. Perhaps she did but ignored it? Or maybe he was keenly aware of it because he was the one who was out of place. That made him more sensitive to the things going on around him. He took a deep breath and steeled his resolve. He was a hunter, well trained and strong. A few stares wouldn’t hurt him.

  They reached the store she mentioned, and she smiled at him. “I have to wait for you to open the door.”

  He obeyed, not thinking to ask why until they were already inside the store and being greeted by a middle-aged man.

  “Good morning,” the man greeted. “How can I help you today?”

  “My husband needs some clothes,” Julia said.

  The man nodded. “Then you came to the right place.” He laughed and looked at Chogan. “Do you speak English?”

  Chogan was surprised. Not only did the man seem sincere in his kindness but he also asked Chogan the question in the Mandan tongue. “You speak Mandan,” Chogan said in his native tongue.

  “My grandmother was Mandan. You wouldn’t know it to look at me. No one gets any whiter than me.” He held up his pale hands and chuckled. “My sister has darker skin though. I always thought it was fascinating that we looked different since we came from the same family. But it is what it is. God has a purpose for everything.”

  Realizing that Julia was staring at them, Chogan turned to her. “He speak Mandan. Nice man.”

  Julia’s smile widened. “That’s wonderful.” To the man, she added, “I don’t speak it at all.”

  “I grew up learning English and Mandan,” the man replied. “My grandmother and mother insisted on it.”

  “He has Mandan grandmother,” Chogan added.

  “My grandmother hasn’t been to the tribe in forty years,” the man said.

  Julia furrowed her eyebrows. “Why not? Bismarck is not that far.”

  “She lives a good distance out with my mother and father.”

  Chogan sensed there was more to it than that but respected the man’s need for privacy. Some things were best kept within the family. But the man and his family intrigued him. He was the product of a union between a Mandan woman and a white man, and he had his own store. It probably helped that he was white. “Where is your sister?” Chogan asked in Mandan.

  “She’s married to a farmer. They don’t live too far from our parents.”

  “Is her husband white?”

  The man’s gaze grew thoughtful. “He is a half-breed, like her.”

  “Are there lots of half-breeds?”

  “Very few in town but further out, there are more. It’s easier to be away from a lot of people.”

  Chogan understood the man’s meaning and couldn’t help but agree. He glanced at Julia and wondered if their children might find others who’d be like them to find companionship with. The future was still a ways off for such thoughts but he already knew the world would treat them differently. He wondered if Julia realized this. There was hope though. People like Anthony who owned this store and grew up in this situation would be willing to welcome the children he and Julia would have.

  “I need job,” Chogan told him, this time speaking in English. “A good employer.”

  “What did you do at the tribe?” the man asked.

  “Hunt. I good hunter.”

  The man scratched his head. “Well... A butcher could always use fresh meat.”

  Chogan nodded. It made sense.

  “I know where the butcher is,” Julia spoke up. “I can take you there.”

  “You should make sure you get a haircut first,” Anthony warned Chogan. “I’ll get you fitted up with some clothes. You’re taller than most of my customers, but I have a couple who require longer pants so I have a pair in stock.”

  Chogan wondered if he could hunt in his clothes and change into the white man’s clothes when he brought his game to the butcher. But that was assuming he’d get the job.

  The process of getting new clothes was painless, though the jeans the man gave him felt restrictive. He didn’t care much for it and vowed he’d make it a habit of wearing his deerskin pants when at home. The boots were also hard, not soft like the moccasins he was accustomed to. The cotton button up shirt was better. At least that wasn’t so confining.

  Anthony handed him a leather belt. “This will be mostly for looks. You don’t need it to hold the pants up.”
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  With a nod, he looped it through the pant holes.

  “And a bandana to complete the look,” the man added, handing him a red bandana with a dark blue square design on it. “It goes around your neck.”

  Chogan thought the red contrasted sharply against the blue clothes but figured Anthony knew what he was doing so he obeyed and slipped it around his neck.

  The man chuckled. “I’m sorry. I should have shown you how to tie it.” Reaching up, the man made a loose knot and then motioned to the mirror. “What do you think?”

  Chogan turned to the mirror and took in the changes in his appearance. Had it not been for his long hair and dark skin, he wouldn’t have known it was him. He took a deep breath. It would take time to get used to this new life and the clothes that came with it. His gaze fell to Julia who was looking at his reflection in the mirror. He smiled, his unease lessening.

  She returned his smile and walked over to him. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  Had they been alone, he would have kissed her. But they weren’t alone, so he turned to his old clothes and picked them up. “We go cut hair.”

  She went over to the owner and paid him for the clothes. “We will need a suit for church.”

  “That’ll be on me,” he told her. “You two got a lot of good and bad times coming, but I can tell when a couple is in love. Consider it my wedding gift.”

  “Oh, well that’s awfully nice of you.”

  “It’s nothing. At one time my grandparents were starting a life together. I see you and imagine what they must have looked like.” He turned to Chogan. “I’ll have a suit made for you within a week.”

  “Thank you,” Chogan replied.

  “I’ll be in touch,” the owner said.

  With a wave, Julia left and Chogan followed.

  ***

  Julia slowly woke from her slumber. For a moment, she thought it had all been a dream—a very realistic one at that. But then she felt the arm around her waist and the body snuggled against her back and realized it had been real after all.

  Her exhaustion had caught up with her once she and Chogan consummated the marriage, and despite her excitement, she had fallen asleep. The day had been a full one with getting the new clothes, taking Chogan to the barber, returning home to get her room set up to accommodate two people instead of one, and trying to catch up on everything that had happened with her brother and Woape since she’d last seen them.

  When it was time to go to bed, a mixture of excitement and apprehension about the physical aspect of her marriage prevented her from relaxing right away. But Chogan had taken his time with her and been gentle.

  She closed her eyes, thinking that she might go back to sleep. The room was still dark, so she knew it was in the middle of the night. She rolled over so that she was facing her husband and smiled. He slept, his breathing even and deep. She couldn’t make out much of his face in the dim light, but he looked peaceful.

  Her body still tingled in the places where he had touched and kissed her. She hadn’t been so aware of her body before, and now that she was and knew the pleasures it was capable of producing, she longed to experience more of it.

  “Chogan?” she whispered, running her hand over his strong bicep and up to his neck.

  She noted the absence of his long hair with a heavy sigh. She missed the rich black hair that had fallen down his back. Maybe he could grow his hair back and be fine. If she had seen other Indians who worked in Bismarck, then she’d know if his haircut had been a good idea or not. Perhaps they had been too eager to get him to fit in.

  “Chogan?”

  He stirred from sleep and opened his eyes. Then he smiled. “It nice to see you.”

  She chuckled and wiggled closer to him. “It’s nice to see you too.”

  She didn’t wait for him to reply. Instead, she kissed him. His lips were soft and warm, and she experienced a thrilling sensation similar to a feather running up and down her spine as his tongue brushed hers. Everything was new and exciting; she wanted to enjoy every minute of it.

  Chogan traced the curve of her hip and cupped her bottom. She brought her leg up and around his waist. When he rolled onto his back so she could straddle him, she gasped in surprise. They hadn’t done this before. She liked the idea of being on top.

  She leaned forward and kissed him again, noting that his hands settled on her hips. His fingers kneaded her skin which further stimulated her senses. She became aware of everything happening between them. His male hardness pressing against the sensitive regions of her body. The strength in his chest as she ran her hands along his muscles. His smell and taste. She was quickly becoming familiar with these things associated with him, things that would undoubtedly one day be so common to her that it’d seem as if they were also a part of her.

  The tension building between her legs was growing stronger, the ache demanding she move. She straightened and shifted so that he could enter her. Her body clenched around him in satisfaction. Unlike last time, there was no sting or need for her to adjust to him. This time he slid in with little effort. She felt complete with him so intimately connected to her, reminding her that this act was a bonding of their hearts, spirits and bodies.

  He encouraged her to move with his hands. She gave a low moan and obeyed. Her gaze fell down to his face, and through the sliver of moonlight that filtered through the curtains, she saw him watching her. He smiled and she returned his smile, almost too shy to vocalize how good their lovemaking made her feel. But the desire compelling her forward lowered her inhibitions and she found herself softly moaning as she rocked in rhythm with his hands.

  She took her time, not in any hurry to finish, even if daylight would come much too soon and she knew she’d be tired tomorrow with what little rest she’d gotten over the past couple of days. At the moment, such things as exhaustion didn’t matter. It was her and Chogan. The rest of the world seemed to melt away. This was how it was when they hunted for rabbits in the field, and she wished it could always be this way.

  When he reached forward with one hand so he could stroke her sensitive nub, she held her breath. He hadn’t done that before, and truth be told, she wasn’t aware that she had a place on her body capable of such intense pleasure. And, even more surprising, the intensity grew greater as he continued his circular motions.

  She bit her lower lip so she wouldn’t get too loud and closed her eyes. In her excitement, she stilled but he kept the movements going until she reached the peak of the experience and uttered a low cry. He slowed, letting her take the time she needed to come down from the heights he’d brought her to.

  When her head cleared, she was able to focus on him again. Leaning forward, she kissed him with more assertiveness than before. He rolled her so that he was the one on top of her, staying inside her the whole time. She held onto him as he went deeper into her. She marveled at the sheer power of his thrusting and wondered if it should hurt her but didn’t. When she groaned, it wasn’t from pain. The entire process was most pleasant, and she found she even enjoyed the more insistent way he claimed her. He was both passionate and powerful to her; two things that thrilled her. She felt him stiffen and shudder as he released his seed into her.

  After a brief moment, he collapsed on top of her. She clung to him, burying her face in the side of his neck. She inhaled the scent of him. She recalled it from when he stood close to her when she hunted for rabbits. How she missed his nearness in the time they’d been apart. Never again. From now on, they were together. One unit. Complete. Whole.

  He shifted off of her and rolled to his side so that he could cuddle with her. His long body wrapped protectively around hers, and she felt more loved and cared for than she had ever felt in her entire life.

  “You and me,” he whispered. “It is good.”

  She smiled and snuggled against him. “Yes. It is good.” And, her exhaustion returning, she promptly fell back to sleep.

  ~~********~~

  Chapter 9

  Chogan realized
it would take time before he felt comfortable in his new clothes, but for the time being, it took a lot of shifting when he was sitting to find a position that didn’t make his legs feel as if his blood flow was being constricted. How did the white men wear these things? How did white women wear their mass of restrictive clothing?

  He saw all the layers of clothes Julia wore under her dress. She mentioned the words chemise and petticoat, but other than that, the mass of unfamiliar words turned into one big blur. The whole business of making sure every inch from the neck to the ankle was covered was unnecessary. It was a wonder the white women could manage any work with the weight of their clothing suffocating them. But Julia and her aunt didn’t seem to notice how uncomfortable their clothes had to be. Chogan reasoned that they were used to it, so they were probably comfortable. He decided he’d ask Julia about it later when they were alone.

  For the moment, he and Julia sat across from Gary and Woape at the dining room table. Woape held Penelope in her lap and fed her small bites of her breakfast. Erin sat at the head of the table and looked as happy as a person could possibly get.

  “I love having the whole family together,” she gushed at one point after sipping her coffee. “I longed for a day such as this ever since Julia and Gary were little. I remember thinking that one day they would marry and have children of their own.” She picked up the cloth napkin from her lap and dabbed her eyes. “It’s a beautiful sight.”

  Julia put her fork down and touched her aunt’s arm.

  The smile Julia and her aunt exchanged indicated a private message of understanding between them, and it was then that Chogan realized how close the two were. Such love and respect was rare, even among his people who tried to pass on the importance of taking care of their elders. This was reason enough for him to live here.