Bound by Honor Bound by Love Page 6

  “He’s with the chief.”

  “With the chief?”

  “Yes, he has an important matter to discuss with him.”

  Ukiah snorted. “He always has an important matter to discuss with the chief. He married you, went off to the chief, left to seek a vision he never had, came back, and the very next day he’s with the chief again. Let me know when that gets tiring.”

  “But we’ll need a first chief once Mahkah dies, and we’ll need one who can lead us.”

  “I suppose you’re right, but there’s a price you have to pay for that, and I hope you’re willing to pay it.”

  Her eyebrows furrowed. “A price?”

  “You’re not going to see him very much. He has a tendency to run off to see the chief all the time. I hope you’re prepared to spend most of your time alone.”

  “But he loves me. He told me so.”

  He chuckled. “If he said it, then I suppose it’s true, but he also loves being a leader in the tribe. You might have a prominent place in his life, but you’ll never be first.”

  Before she could think of a suitable response, he walked away, pulling the travois behind him. She stood still for a moment, not wishing to give heed to his warning but wishing he hadn’t said it. She’d been basking in the glow of Citlali’s love for the past week, and even Woape’s hesitation hadn’t suppressed her joy. But Ukiah knew Citlali better than Woape did, and she couldn’t argue that the chief was demanding when it came to Citlali’s use of his time. She didn’t think Citlali had a choice but to do what the chief wanted. His hands were tied. There was no denying that. But did that mean she’d have to do without him most of the time? Surely, Citlali spent as much time in his lodge as other men did? Ukiah didn’t care for Citlali, but did that mean he would go out of his way to say something to hurt her when she hadn’t done anything to him?

  She glanced at Woape’s lodge and wondered if she was in the mood to see her family and the white couple. If she went there, she’d have to pretend everything was alright. And maybe everything was fine. But for the moment, it didn’t seem fine. She turned away from her sister’s lodge and decided to take the walk she’d wanted to take earlier, even if she had to do it without her husband. As she passed the chief’s lodge, she wondered what Citlali and the chief did in there. Too bad she couldn’t go in there and find out. With a heavy sigh, she continued forward, hoping the walk would clear her mind of negative thoughts.

  ***

  Citlali sat in front of the fire pit and smoked the pipe the chief handed to him. He wondered what Onawa was doing at the moment. Did she decide to go on the walk without him? He remembered the brief walk they’d shared the day after their wedding ceremony. It’d been nice to get away from the others and talk to her. He wished he was with her now.

  She always offered him a smile that made him feel as if he was the most important person in the world. No one else ever looked at him that way. Most of the time, they looked at him with contempt because of his young age. When he made a decision that was best for the tribe, their contempt turned into a grudging respect. But it was never like that with her. He wished he was with her right now so she’d smile at him and remind him that he wasn’t a failure. He didn’t have a vision while he was away from the tribe. All he did was bring Cole and Penelope to the tribe with their children, and he worried that was a mistake.

  “Citlali.”

  Blinking, he turned his attention to the chief who sat beside him on the rug. “Yes?”

  “You are distracted,” the chief said as he took the pipe from him.

  It was true so he didn’t deny it.

  “Etu and Yepa must get familiar with their family,” the chief began. “I want you to take them to their aunts’ lodge and explain to them the ways of our people. The white people can’t do this.”

  “You mean, Cole and Penelope Hunter.”

  “Yes.”

  Citlali wanted to ask him why he didn’t use their names but figured he already knew. By not using their names, he could keep them at an emotional distance. “Do you want me to go now?”

  “Yes. The sooner the children are adjusted to the tribe, the better.”

  He nodded and stood to retrieve his buffalo robe. He wrapped it securely around himself before he headed out into the bitter cold. The children had been to their aunts’ lodge yesterday. Undoubtedly, the aunts made it a point to visit Woape’s lodge as well. He wasn’t sure why the chief wouldn’t let the matter play out between the children’s aunts and their white parents on their own, but he knew better than to question the chief.

  When he reached Woape’s lodge, he noted the laughter coming from within and immediately wondered if Onawa had decided to pay her family a visit. It’d be nice to see her, even if they wouldn’t be alone. But as he entered the lodge full of people, he realized Onawa wasn’t there. Forcing aside his disappointment, he stepped forward and saw one of the children’s aunts talking to Penelope. The children sat between them while Woape, her aunts and other females sat around the fire in the center of the lodge.

  Woape was the first to notice him. Rising to her feet, she asked, “Are you looking for Onawa?”

  “No,” he replied, glancing at the children. “The chief thinks it would be good if the children had a chance to visit their aunts’ lodge.”

  “They’ve already been there.”

  “When?”

  “Yesterday, shortly after they arrived. Their aunts have been coming here.”

  “Perhaps they might like to go there today.”

  Woape glanced at Penelope and the children. “But the children are exhausted, and the girl isn’t feeling well. Taking them across the tribe right now is not a good idea.”

  The chief wouldn’t like hearing this, and there was no way he was going to go back and tell the chief they wouldn’t comply with his wishes. But his wishes had been for the children to be more familiar with their Mandan family, not necessarily go to another lodge. Inspired, he said, “Will their entire family be coming here to see them?”

  He noted Penelope’s furrowed eyebrows and the annoyed expression on Woape’s face before Woape said, “I told you they have been coming here throughout the day. The children and their parents are already getting acquainted with the ways of our people.”

  Noting that she’d emphasized the words “their parents,” he understood that the chief’s plan to have the children stay in the tribe would be met with resistance, and as he examined the way the little girl and boy leaned against Penelope, he also understood the attachment they had with their white parents couldn’t be undone simply because the chief wished it to be.

  Relenting, he said, “I’ll tell the chief they are getting acquainted.”

  Though Woape seemed skeptical, he saw her body relax. “Is there anything else?”

  He thought to ask her if she knew where Onawa was but feared it would give his feelings away, so he opted to end the conversation and go on his way. “No.”

  As he turned to leave, he could feel their eyes on him, probably relieved to see him go. It was like that most of the time, and he’d learned to ignore it so much he no longer noticed it. Except for today. Today, he was aware of it. He was also aware of their disapproval of him for doing what the chief wanted. The people in Woape’s lodge were in favor of changing the ways of the tribe. They had close ties with the white people in one form or another, and those bonds would not easily be severed. He hated to think where things were heading. A showdown was inevitable. The only question was, who would win: them or the chief?

  ***

  “Is something bothering you?”

  Onawa glanced over her shoulder from where she sat on the outskirts of the tribe, surprised to see Citlali walking toward her. She cleared her throat and shook her head. “No. I am fine.”

  Fine, so it was a lie. His brother’s words bothered her. How could they not? They only emphasized her fears ever since she’d learned she was to marry Citlali. Unable to maintain eye contact with him, she tu
rned her attention back to the Missouri River not too far from her.

  He sat next to her, and her heart sped up since he was close enough to touch her. She took a deep breath, not wishing to betray her excitement around him. She marveled that he could always keep his emotions under control. No matter what the situation, he knew what to do and acted accordingly. She wished she could be as confident.

  “I thought you would be at your family’s lodge,” he said. “I looked for you.”

  “Did you?” she asked.

  “The chief told me to make sure Etu and Yepa got acquainted with their Mandan family. They were in your family’s lodge. I thought you might be there, too.”

  She wasn’t sure how to take that. Did he mean he only thought of her after he went to her family’s lodge or did he think of her first? When he didn’t say anything else, she decided to put the matter aside.

  “Are Etu and Yepa getting acquainted with their family?” she asked.

  “Yes, but I think their white parents are their family now, don’t you?”

  She shrugged. “I hadn’t thought about it. Penelope and Cole are their parents now, so yes, they are their family.” After a moment, she added, “Woape is friends with Penelope.”

  “I remember seeing Penelope when your father, brother and I found Woape after she went missing from the tribe.”

  She studied his face to see if it upset him that even though Woape had been promised to him for marriage, she ended up running away and having another man’s child. Despite the circumstances, he’d been willing to honor his word and marry her. Had it not been for the fact that Woape’s husband turned out to be alive, Citlali would have married her. She wondered if the whole thing had bothered him at the time. As she studied him now, she was assured that it didn’t bother him anymore. She could tell that by the tone of his voice. But back then? She wanted to ask him but didn’t feel comfortable enough to do so.

  “Etu and Yepa have grown attached to their white parents,” Citlali softly said.

  She nodded. “That’s to be expected. Penelope and Cole adopted them and raised them as their own. They love Etu and Yepa. You can see it in the way the children stay close to them.”

  “Yes, you can.”

  “Does that upset you?”

  “No. It’s good Penelope and Cole have been good to them. I doubt many white people would be as kind to Indian children.”

  “So it’s good that Penelope and Cole are their parents?” she ventured, sensing something wasn’t quite right but not knowing what that something might be.

  “I think it depends on who you talk to,” he mumbled.

  Her eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t understand. What’s wrong?”

  With a heavy sigh, he looked at her, and she sensed the pain in his eyes. “Some do not wish it so. Some question if it’s good for the tribe.”

  “The chief?” she whispered.

  He gave a slight nod, gulped and looked at the river.

  Not knowing what else to say, she faced the river and wondered why he would bother telling her all of this. Maybe he needed someone to talk to, someone who wasn’t involved in the situation? Whatever the reason, she knew it was hard for him. He was questioning the chief, something they weren’t supposed to do. But if he confided his misgivings to her, then maybe his brother was wrong. Maybe she had a better place in Citlali’s life than Ukiah would have her believe.

  She reached out and touched Citlali’s hand. Though he didn’t say anything, he squeezed her hand. And for now, that was enough. They remained there, sitting next to each other in silence, and let the peace of the day settle their souls.

  Chapter Seven

  It was early March when Penelope woke with a start at the sound of her son’s crying. She bolted up from the bed she and Cole shared in the small room that had at one time belonged to Onawa and ran to the room next to it where Etu and Yepa slept. The covering had been tied to the pole so the children wouldn’t have to sleep in the dark since the fire in the middle of the lodge lit it in a soothing light. Etu had slept well, so Penelope assumed it was enough to banish the nightmares, but it wasn’t.

  She gathered him from the bed and took him in her arms. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in the nape of her neck. He sobbed quietly while she stroked his back in circular motions that she knew would calm him down. Despite her exhaustion, she went to the fire and sat in front of it, immediately warmed.

  “You and pa left me and Yepa here,” he whimpered. “I kept crying for you to come back, but you didn’t.”

  She kissed his cheek and whispered, “It’s alright. I’m here. It was a bad dream. Your pa and I are here. We’d never leave you and your sister. You’re safe.”

  She gently rocked him from side to side and hummed his favorite tune. After a couple of minutes, he stopped crying. She sighed and closed her eyes. This was the first time he’d had this type of nightmare. She wondered what made him think she and Cole would ever leave him and his sister.

  The sound of footsteps broke her all-too-familiar thoughts of how helpless she was to help her son. She opened her eyes and smiled as Woape sat beside her.

  “How is he?” Woape whispered.

  Penelope glanced at Etu and realized he’d drifted off to sleep, finally looking content. She breathed a sigh of relief. “He’ll be fine for the rest of the night. When Cole and I adopted him, we expected him to go through a period of adjustment, and back then, he had nightmares once every couple of months. It was only late last year that he started having them every other night. It was always the same thing. A bad man was coming after him and his sister. He had to hide with his sister and keep her quiet. If they made any sounds, the bad man would find them.” She took a shaky breath. “We thought if we brought him here, he might find whatever it is he needs to find peace.”

  “But he’s still having nightmares?”

  Penelope wiped the tears from her eyes. “I don’t know what to do. I mean, I’ve put the pieces together. His parents were here when Hothlepoya attacked the tribe, and his mother hid him and his sister and told them to be quiet. Then his sister ran off and he went with her, and they got lost. I don’t know the details. He was too young to remember everything.”

  “But he remembers enough.”

  She nodded. “And tonight, he dreamt that Cole and I abandoned him and his sister.” She released her breath and hugged him tighter. “Why would he think that? Cole and I have never given him a reason to think we’d desert them.”

  Woape leaned forward and brushed a stray lock from his eyes. With a heavy sigh, she shook her head. “I’m sorry. It’s my fault his parents died. If it weren’t for me, Hothlepoya wouldn’t have ever come here.”

  “It’s not your fault, Woape. You didn’t know what would happen when you left the tribe.”

  “No, I didn’t, but I was selfish and irresponsible.”

  “You can’t dwell on the past. Nothing’s going to change it.”

  “I know, but I still get sick to my stomach when I think of the way I ran away from the tribe. Citlali wouldn’t have married me if he knew how much I opposed it. I should have talked to him and his father. The chief had a lot of respect for Citlali’s father. Citlali’s father was a good man.” She closed her eyes and rubbed them. “I could have prevented so much heartache and death if I’d done it. The final time Hothlepoya came to this tribe, Citlali’s father died defending us.” She opened her eyes and looked at Penelope. “There are so many things I’d do differently if I could.”

  “Don’t blame yourself, Woape. Hothlepoya was responsible for his actions. You couldn’t control what he did any more than Etu could control the fact that his sister ran out of the bushes. From what their aunts said, the attack happened so suddenly that no one had time to prepare. It must have been horrible.”

  “Hothlepoya showed no mercy.”

  Recalling the things Hothlepoya had done to Woape, Penelope knew this was true. She glanced at Etu and kissed the top of his head. “I’m sorr
y, Woape. I’m glad Gary found you when he did, and I’m glad I got to see you again.”

  With a smile, Woape rubbed Penelope’s back. “It’s good to see you, too. And you’re happy with Cole.”

  “Very happy. He’s wonderful.”

  Woape’s gaze went back to Etu. “Do you think he’ll be alright?”

  “For the rest of the night, yes. But tomorrow night…?” She shrugged. “I thought coming here would give him something he needs to be at peace. I thought it would answer some questions he’s had but couldn’t ask me since I didn’t know his past or his family.”

  “I think he just needs time to work through his past. He could have been suppressing the past and now it refuses to be pushed away anymore.”

  “That could very well be it. I just feel so sorry for him. If I could take the pain for him, I would.”

  “I know you would. You’re a good mother, Penelope.”

  “Thank you. Being married to Cole is wonderful, of course, but I could never see my life without children, and Cole was willing to adopt them so I jumped at the chance. They might be a lot of work, but they’re worth it.”

  “Yes, they are.”

  Still holding Etu, Penelope stood up. “I should put him back in bed. The poor thing has been through an ordeal in coming here.”

  Woape nodded and got to her feet. “You all have. I hope you’ll sleep well for the rest of the night. In the morning, we’ll make the children’s favorite meal.”

  “They’ll like that.”

  After saying goodnight, Penelope tucked Etu into bed and kissed his forehead. For someone so young, he’d dealt with too many hardships. She’d do whatever she could to make sure he was safe.

  ***

  In April, Onawa confirmed she was expecting a child. This would please Citlali and the chief, and Citlali would undoubtedly prefer her to the chief now because she’d be the mother of his child. Then Ukiah couldn’t claim that she wasn’t important to Citlali.