Falling In Love With Her Husband Page 6
“The people here are nice,” Todd commented.
I nodded. Turning my attention to other matters, I asked, “Did they hire you at the bank?”
“My interview with the boss is the day after tomorrow. I’ll know then.”
After the months we traveled for what seemed like endless miles, I thought the trip to the farm would be quick, but it seemed longer than our trek across the states.
An hour passed by the time we arrived at the empty white two-story house. Mr. Martin had left modest furnishings, which were still in good shape except for the kitchen table that had a wobbly leg.
“I had to take out a loan to pay for it,” Todd explained as I looked around.
I tried not to get discouraged as I looked at the dust and cobwebs covering everything. My parents would never accept such living conditions. You’re not in Virginia anymore. This is a different world.
“The water from the well should work,” he said. He left to check it.
I went to investigate the small house. The parlor was spacious and led to the front door. The dining room led to the kitchen. The kitchen led to the back door. There were two closets and a small room with things in it that I didn’t recognize. The wooden stairs led to three bedrooms. I stepped out of the last bedroom and walked down the stairs. The kitchen had a pump at the sink.
“We’re in luck,” Todd said when he came back into the house through the front door. “The water is good.”
I hesitated to ask the question that pressed on my mind but had to because sooner or later, I’d have to use the privy. “Where is the toilet?”
“The outhouse is in the back. I’ll show you where.”
I followed him to the kitchen window, which overlooked the fields and the barn. He pointed to a small wooden building the size of a closet that had a door. It was between the house and the barn.
“The well’s out front, so the water won’t get contaminated from…” He shrugged. “You know.”
The idea of going to the bathroom outside made me cringe. It didn’t seem sanitary. Just what other unpleasant things would I face out here?
He sighed. “I’ll help you clean this place. Once we get rid of the dust, it will look better. Why don’t you sit down and rest? I’ll bring our things in.”
I shook my head. “I’d rather help. I want to do something other than sit.” I had done enough sitting over the past couple of months. It felt good to move.
We didn’t have much, but after the tiring trip, it seemed that we would never finish putting things away where they now belonged. I was glad that Mrs. Coley recommended that I get pots and pans, because the kitchen cupboards were bare. Once we finished our task, we were so tired that we fell asleep. I slept on the couch and he slept on the chair.
***
Early the next morning, I woke up refreshed and in a good mood. I wasn’t a morning person by nature, so it was unusual for me to wake up with a smile on my face. In the daylight, the house didn’t look as bad as it had last night. We could make it work.
Since Todd was still asleep, I decided to surprise him by making breakfast. I took out the recipe book that Mrs. Coley had given me.
I decided to make scrambled eggs. It looked like a meal that was difficult to ruin. I stared at the cast iron stove and the wood on the floor in the corner. A box of matches sat on the counter. I hadn’t been allowed in the kitchen while I was growing up, so I did as Mrs. Coley instructed in starting a fire under the range. The oven door was right next to the compartment where the fire burned. Neither the oven nor the range looked easy. How would I know when the range was too hot? Or what if it didn’t get hot enough?
I turned back to the task of making scrambled eggs. I threw the eggs into the pan and used the wooden spoon to stir them around. I stopped when I realized the eggs didn’t mix well. I read the recipe again and groaned. I wasn’t supposed to keep the shells. I tossed the eggs into the sink. This time I tried breaking the eggs, but I either used too much force to crack them open or not enough. In the end, I was stuck with egg white and bits of the shells splattered all over the table. After five attempts at it, I didn’t dare use any more eggs. I quickly put out the fire and cleaned up the table. I threw the bad food into the pail in the corner of the room.
I angrily sat in the kitchen chair. Cooking was not as easy as Mrs. Coley made it sound. What made me think I could live out here? None of the classes I took prepared me for any of this. Everyone just assumed I’d spend my life surrounded by servants who did the “trivial work”, as my father once put it.
My eyes fell on the fruits on the counter. At least I knew how to cut fruit. I took some apples and strawberries and cut them up. Then I ate my portion and waited for Todd to wake up so he could eat his.
“Good morning,” Todd greeted as he entered the kitchen.
I waited for him to sit across from me so he could eat. It still felt strange to think of Todd as my husband. I knew he was the right choice for me, though I didn’t feel the romantic feelings toward him that I had felt for Kent. I hoped the feelings would come in time. I meant what I told him. That I would do my best to be a good wife. I had messed up with Kent, and my parents warned me about him. Since they liked Todd, then Todd had to be the right choice. I hope I didn’t make a bad decision. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt Todd because of my selfishness.
Todd smiled. “It sure is a beautiful day. It’s too bad we have to spend it cleaning.”
“Do we have any cleaning supplies?” I hadn’t thought to purchase those at the store.
“Mr. Martin left some in the closet by the stairs.”
“Oh.” I watched as he ate. “Do you think you’ll get the banking job?”
“I think so. I know enough about it. If, for some reason, I don’t get it, I’ll apply for another job.” He must have noticed my apprehension because he stopped eating and smiled at me. “We’ll be alright.”
My spirits lifted and a new comfort came over me. I smiled back and nodded. I was glad to have him with me, and I could tell he was glad to have me with him. That was the first time I was thankful that he loved me.
***
We spent the entire morning cleaning the downstairs. By the time we were done, I noticed the blisters forming on my thumbs from sweeping the broom. I wanted to please Todd, so I didn’t complain.
To my surprise, he offered to help me cook lunch.
“What do you want to eat?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I hadn’t thought of what to make,” I slowly replied as I glanced at the recipe book. I had no idea what to make without burning it. “What do you want?”
“What did you buy?”
I motioned to the cupboards that held some vegetables, fruits, eggs, and bags of flour, yeast, and other items that I was still trying to figure out how to cook with.
“Hmm... This isn’t what I expected,” he replied. “Is this all the mercantile had?”
“For the most part, yes. Mrs. Coley gave me a recipe book and some cooking tips.”
“This is all we could afford?”
Embarrassed because I didn’t know what to buy and knew we didn’t have much, I turned away from him. I was a failure as a wife. I didn’t know the first thing about taking care of a house or how to cook food. I wondered if I could get anything right out here. It was such a different world than Virginia.
Todd put his arms around me. “Forgive me, Ann. I wasn’t criticizing you. I just didn’t realize food cost so much.”
Relieved, I hugged him back. “I felt lost in there. Thankfully, Mrs. Coley was very nice and helped me.”
“I should have gone in with you, though I don’t know if I could have been much help. I don’t understand what we’re supposed to do with flour or yeast.”
“Apparently, you can make bread with it.” How, I didn’t know.
“I thought I was prepared to be out here, but I didn’t consider cooking food.”
“I’m going to learn to cook. I know I can do it.”
He had no idea how much I appreciated those words. “Do you know how to start the fire for the stove?”
“Yes.”
I watched in amazement as he got the fire burning. He obviously practiced this. I should have expected it, but it made me feel inferior as a wife.
“I had to buy some pans, pots and utensils too,” I added. “I’m sure I can get more food next time.”
“You did good, Ann. You’ve always been good about the choices you make.”
I frowned. “I suppose if you don’t count Kent, then I do make good decisions.” I turned to the recipe book and opened it.
He didn’t respond, and I wasn’t sure what else to say either. After we decided to make soup, I took on the task of cutting up potatoes, carrots, and celery, which I added to the broth and water in the new pot so I wouldn’t have to mess with the stove again. I stirred the pot.
“Are you ready to put it on the range?” he asked.
I nodded and carried the pot to the stove. My hands got too close to the range. I almost dropped the pot as I pulled my hand away from the stove.
Todd quickly grabbed the pot and put it in place for me. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” I replied but my hand was already showing signs of being lightly burnt. I made a mental note to never get too close to the range again.
“Maybe cool water will help.”
I followed him to the sink. He picked up a clean washcloth and pumped the handle until water came out. He washed the cloth under it before he turned to me and wrapped the cool cloth around my hand.
“That’s much better,” I assured him.
After a few minutes, he uncovered my hand so he could inspect the wound. “It looks superficial.” He sighed. “I didn’t think to bring any bandages.”
I took a deep breath. Somehow, the way he carefully held my hand seemed more intimate than any kiss Kent and I shared.
“I’m fine. It doesn’t even hurt.” Uncomfortable, I asked, “Do you know how to work everything in this house?”
He nodded. “It helped that I talked with the servants back home. My father thought I was crazy for following the servants all over the place, but I wanted to make sure I could make it out here.”
“So, you know how to do laundry?”
“Yes. Would you like me to give you a quick tour of the scullery room?”
Was that the name of the small room I saw with the unfamiliar objects in it? “Yes, I would like to learn what you know.”
He stirred the pot before he showed me the wringer washer machine and washtub. It all seemed confusing, but he demonstrated how to use them.
“It took me a couple of times of helping the servants before I got the hang of doing laundry,” he said.
I didn’t look forward to doing laundry. It looked like a lot of work. But I was determined to press on and learn the tasks I needed to.
We finished cooking the meal and had a good lunch. Then we headed upstairs to clean the bedrooms. Todd let me have my choice of the bedroom I wanted. He would sleep in another room until I was ready to be intimate. I was grateful for his patience because I doubted that other men would have been as understanding.
Chapter Eight
Ann’s Point of View
When I woke up the next morning, my entire body ached. I glanced at my hands, which were red and sore. The burn was going to leave a scar but was healing nicely. I didn’t want to get out of bed, but I wanted to make Todd breakfast and wish him luck on his interview.
I attempted to cook scrambled eggs again. Again, I had difficulty getting the egg yolk and white out of the shell. Bits of shells kept finding their way into the small bowl. After trying to successfully crack four eggs, I finally got two eggs perfectly cracked. I stirred them together with butter and poured the mixture into the pan. I turned to clean up the mess from my failed attempts. When I returned to the pan, I realized the eggs were badly burnt. My aggravation surfaced and I angrily threw the pan across the room. Would I ever get the hang of cooking?
“Ann, are you alright?” Todd yelled from upstairs.
I gasped and quickly ran to pick the pan and burnt eggs off the floor. “I’m fine! I...I accidently dropped something. Everything’s fine.”
I hastily cleaned the pan and cracked the remaining eggs I had into it. I hoped I would succeed this time or else Todd would have to eat fruit again, which I knew wasn’t very filling. I stayed with the pan and carefully stirred the eggs. Fortunately, they turned out correctly this time.
Todd’s eyes lit up when he saw me. “Thank you for making breakfast. I hope you didn’t go through too much trouble.”
Surprised, I realized that I would go through the horrid ordeal all over again because it made him happy.
“Aren’t you going to eat anything?” he asked as he sat at the table.
I placed the plate of eggs in front of him and handed him a cup of water. “I’ll eat when I feel hungry.” My stomach growled but I ignored it.
After he ate, he left for the interview and I decided to eat. It was easier to make mistakes without someone nearby who might witness them. I threw the slices of potato in the pan without wiping oil on the bottom of the pan first. I knew the recipe book said to do that, but how important could oil possibly be? Since potatoes didn’t require stirring like the eggs did, I left the kitchen and collected the laundry.
I didn’t notice the smoke right away. At first, I assumed the sudden odor was coming from the laundry. Perhaps, this soap smelled bad. As the smell grew stronger, I lifted the wet laundry to my nose. It smelled good and clean, not smoky.
That was when I remembered the potatoes. I ran to the kitchen, my hands still wet and soapy, and inspected the potatoes. I grabbed a flour sack towel and grabbed the handle of the pan. I tried to scrape the potatoes off with a spoon, but they stuck to the bottom. Once again, I had botched up cooking a simple meal.
That’s when I started crying. What was I doing here? I was used to servants who waited on me and served me food. I had no idea how I’d manage to survive out here. I couldn’t live on fruits for the rest of my life. What made me think I could do this? I shoved the pan into the sink and threw the towel on the table.
Many thoughts raced through my mind. I could go back to Virginia. No, I was married now and I must stick to that decision. But what about an annulment? We hadn’t consummated the marriage. No, I made a vow to God. I could persuade Todd to go back. No, he’d be miserable and I’d still have to face Kent and Rebecca.
Then my anger surfaced. This was all Kent’s fault! He was the one who approached me. He asked my father for permission to call on me. Why did he initiate a romantic relationship with me if he was going to choose someone else?
I broke into a fresh wave of tears. I made the choice to come out here, and Todd was being kind to me. I didn’t deserve him. Not only did I not deserve him, but I couldn’t take care of the household tasks that farm wives did.
“What made me think I could do this?” I asked myself as I stared at the burnt pan.
***
The next day, I experienced a bitterness toward Kent and Rebecca that took me by surprise. While Todd was at his new job at the bank, I paced back and forth in the parlor, unable to concentrate on the household chores I needed to accomplish. The bitterness turned into anger, which burned brighter and hotter as I recalled all the lies that Kent once told me. How foolish I was!
Hoping to burn off my anger, I took a long walk through the fields. The sunlight brought out the brilliant yellows and light greens of the land, but I was too caught up in my memories to notice. At one point, my anger reached a point where I had to run. I ran as fast and as hard as I could, hoping to drive all traces of Kent from my mind. But he haunted me without reprieve. “She actually believed I loved her,” I imagined him telling Rebecca. I squeezed my eyes shut, as if that would stop the pictures of Kent and Rebecca laugh
ing at me.
At some point, I collapsed on the ground, exhausted. My mind rushed through memories of my relationship with Kent, the end of it, my hasty marriage to Todd, and the long trek to North Dakota until they all became one big mix. My rapid breathing and aching muscles prompted me to lay still. The images in my mind finally began to fade as I became aware of my hunger. I had forgotten to eat anything that morning.
After a few minutes passed, I grew tired. Relieved, I gave myself up to the darkness that enveloped me. By the time I woke up, the sun was low in the sky. I gasped. Todd! He would be worried. I jumped up and ran in the direction of the house. I hadn’t realized I had gone so far into the field. I ran until my side hurt and then I had to walk, and the walk back seemed to take forever. I saw Todd riding his favorite horse in the field, calling out my name.
I stopped and waited to catch my breath. When I could manage it, I called out to him and waved my arms. I grinned. I looked as silly as my mother.
He turned his horse, which galloped to me. He jumped off the horse and hugged me tightly. “Thank goodness you’re alright. I feared the worst.”
Overwhelmed by his reaction, I returned his hug. Did he think I left him? Did he think someone took me away? “I went for a walk and I fell asleep in the field. I didn’t expect to be gone for long.”
“There are coyotes out here. You could have been harmed.”
Coyotes? I shivered.
He released me. “I’ll need to buy a gun, just in case one tries to attack either of us. But we can worry about that later. You must be hungry. Would you like to take a break from cooking and get something to eat in town?”
I felt empty as soon as he pulled away from me. My growling stomach reminded me of more pressing matters I needed to attend to than wondering about his hug. I readily agreed, excited to eat a good meal for a change.