Nobody's Fool (Marriage by Design Book 2) Page 5

  He hurried to shut the doors of the drawing room and then went back to her. Since she was still sitting in a chair, he picked the one next to her so he could keep his voice low.

  He couldn’t be sure, but he thought she looked nervous. Perhaps she was nervous he would do something to disappoint her. And for all he knew, he might unwittingly do that. He had no idea that the period leading up to the wedding was the easy part of a relationship. Before today, he’d been under the impression that the easy part was the marriage itself. Now, he knew differently. Everything hinged on how their marriage started, and he was determined to do his best to make it a good beginning.

  He took a deep breath then said, “I want you to know that I am the happiest gentleman who’s ever lived. I still can’t believe that someone like me has someone as beautiful and sweet as you for a wife. Other gentlemen are bound to envy me for my fortune.” He cleared his throat. “I’m in awe of you. I feel like I’m in a dream.” All right, now came the hard part. “I want you to know that I have never been with another lady, nor do I have any desire to be. You’re the only one I want. When I made my vows, I devoted myself to you and only you. That will be for the rest of my life. That’s why I want to wait before we,” he lowered his voice even more, “share a bed.”

  Her eyebrows furrowed, and she leaned toward him. “Before we what?”

  Heat crept up his face. Had he disappointed her? Had she had her heart set on spending the night in his bed? Or did she think he didn’t find her desirable? “You’re lovely. I want to be with you…in that way. But given how much we still need to learn about each other, I thought it might be best if we waited.”

  Before he could further explain in an attempt to ease her disappointment, she blurted out, “I think waiting is a good idea.”

  Hoping he understood her right, he asked, “You do?”

  “Yes. I agree with you. We ought to get to know each other better.”

  “I would like to get to know you more than anything.”

  “I know. And I am in complete agreement with you.”

  When he realized she meant it, he felt as if the weight of the world had been taken off his shoulders. What a relief. Now he wouldn’t do something to embarrass himself tonight. “You do understand that I find you attractive?”

  “Yes, I understand. This marriage happened so suddenly. We need more time. You need to find out more about me.”

  “And you can find out more about me.”

  “Yes, that’s true, too.”

  “You’re such a wonderful wife,” he said. “Your father spoke so highly of your sweet temperament, so I already knew we’d have a love match. But I have to admit that you’re even better than I anticipated. I don’t know what I did to get you to think so fondly of me, but I will do all I can to deserve you.”

  He thought he caught a flicker of uncertainty flash across her face.

  “Did I say something to upset you?” he asked.

  “No. Everything you said is lovely.”

  “Oh, that’s good. I have no intention of ever upsetting you. I’m sure there will be moments where it’s unavoidable. I’m only human, after all. Take this furniture. I almost got rid of things you like.” He still didn’t understand how he’d misinterpreted what she’d been telling him earlier that day, but he supposed it didn’t matter. The important thing was that he hadn’t gotten rid of it. It was still here to give her joy. He smiled at her. “What would you like to do tomorrow? I have set aside the entire day to do whatever you want.”

  “You have?”

  He nodded, sure she was pleased to know she had a husband who would be attentive to her, especially so soon after their wedding. He knew some gentlemen who ran to White’s right after the wedding breakfast. He never could understand why they did that. Their attention should be on their wives. At the very least, they had a duty to do all they could to make their wives feel loved. It was a gentleman’s responsibility to take the lead in the marriage, and he was going to take that responsibility seriously.

  “Don’t be shy,” he encouraged. “Tell me what you’d like to do tomorrow.”

  “To be honest, I’m not sure.”

  “Well, think over what you’d like to do tomorrow. We’ve had so many good things happen today. It’s no wonder you’re unsure about what to do tomorrow. I doubt anything will be as exciting as our getting married, but as long as we’re together, we’ll be happy.”

  He heard the clock chime and noted the time. It was late. The wedding had been so early. She must be tired. He was still much too excited by the day’s events to sleep, but they should get some rest.

  “May I escort you to your bedchamber?” he asked. “I’ll bid you a good night at the door.”

  “All right,” she replied.

  She stood up and waited for him to extend his arm to her. He hurried to do as she wished, and he noticed the thrill her touch produced. It was always like that. Whenever she smiled or touched him, he felt the most pleasant warmth sweep through his body. He’d had no idea that being with a lady could make his heart beat with such ferocity. It was a most splendid feeling.

  He had so much to look forward to. They were going to build a foundation based on friendship, and then they were going to be blessed with children. Feeling as if he was floating in the air, he led her up the stairs.

  ***

  Emilia stared at the selection of hairpins and jewelry on her vanity. She loved wearing them, but should she? What if she made herself attractive and it encouraged him?

  But what good had being unattractive done her? He didn’t seem to notice whether she looked like a wallflower or if she was pretty. She missed being pretty. She didn’t consider herself to be a vain lady, but she did like fixing her hair and wearing fashionable clothes.

  All right. She was going to make herself attractive, but she was only doing it for her. She wasn’t doing it for him.

  Feeling at peace with the decision, she instructed her lady’s maid on how she wanted her hair done then retrieved a lovely blue gown from her armoire to wear. By the time she was all done getting ready, she felt like her old self. She hadn’t realized how difficult it’d been to make herself ugly. She felt much better this way.

  She left the bedchamber. There was a chill in the air in the halls. She was glad to enter the drawing room where a fire burned in the fireplace. The servants were setting out food along a small table from which she could pick what she wanted. Curious, she inspected the items and was surprised to see that her favorite breakfast foods were there.

  “Your parents told me what you prefer to eat,” Benjamin said from behind her.

  She gave a slight jerk and spun around.

  “My apologies,” he said as he approached her. “I didn’t intend to startle you.”

  She noticed the way he scanned her and felt a flood of warmth wash over her. That was odd. She’d never experienced that before. Whatever did it mean?

  He smiled at her. “I don’t know how you do it, but you get lovelier every time I see you.”

  That wasn’t hard to do considering how she’d dressed yesterday afternoon and evening.

  “Did you sleep well?” he asked.

  “Yes, I did. Did you?”

  “No. I was too excited about today. Have you decided what you’d like to do?”

  Since the servants were still putting food on the table, she went to a chair and sat in it. He sat in the one beside her, the smile on his face so wide that there was no denying how happy he was about this marriage.

  “No, not really,” she finally answered.

  She wasn’t sure she wanted to be out in public with him. She recalled the way ladies giggled whenever they saw him at the balls. She recalled it because, as embarrassing as it was to think about, she’d been one of them. She even used to say how sorry she felt for the poor lady who was going to get stuck marrying him.

  But even if it would be embarrassing to be seen in public with him, she wasn’t sure she wanted to spend more time alo
ne in this townhouse with him. She didn’t know what to say. Thankfully, he did most of the talking, but he had a tendency to overwhelm her at times.

  “You don’t have to worry about money,” he said. “Your father told me you were always careful not to spend more than he gave you for your allowance. I don’t know how much he has in his possession, but I have more than enough for whatever you’d like to do.”

  “Do you really?” Or was he just saying that because he wanted to protect her from the truth?

  “I do.” He studied her expression for a moment. “You don’t seem to believe me.”

  “I’ve heard of gentlemen marrying ladies to save their estate from financial ruin.”

  “Oh. Well, you have no need to worry about that with me. My estate was secure before our marriage. I didn’t marry you because I needed your dowry. I married you because I wanted to be with you.”

  She wondered how many other gentlemen ever said something like that to their wives. It was a rare thing to hear. She knew Roger hadn’t wanted to be with Lilly because of her family’s money. He had more than they did. But it was strange to find out that Benjamin lauded marriage so highly that he’d marry a lady regardless of her family’s financial standing.

  If he was telling her the truth…

  “Is your estate really secure?” she asked.

  He nodded. “Would you like to see the ledger?”

  “You’d show me the ledger?” She wasn’t going to have to sneak behind his back and search for it? He was going to actually show it to her?

  “Of course, I would. I had no idea you were anxious about the financial condition of this estate. Had I known, I would have brought the ledger over during our courtship to set your mind at ease. My poor darling.” He reached over and patted her hand, and for some strange reason, she didn’t feel the need to recoil from his touch. “Let me bring it. I don’t want you to spend another minute in worry.”

  She watched him as he jumped out of the chair and hurried out of the room. She glanced at the servants, wondering if they thought it was odd that he’d bolted out of the room as if something was chasing him. They didn’t seem to notice. Maybe Benjamin had a habit of acting this way. He did seem rather eccentric.

  She settled back in the chair and glanced around the room so she wouldn’t end up staring at the servants. She should be comfortable in the room whenever she was alone with them. She’d grown up around servants, but for some reason, she never felt comfortable whenever it was just her and them. The silence always seemed awkward. The only one she could find something to say anything around was her lady’s maid.

  When Benjamin returned, she experienced a strange sense of relief. She’d never thought that his showing up in a room would invoke any kind of positive emotion, but sure enough, she felt herself relax as he sat back in the chair beside her.

  He opened the ledger and thumbed through it. Her father had never let her see his ledger, so she was intrigued to know what was in it. She leaned toward him and scanned the rows and columns of numbers that he spent and earned as he continued to turn the pages.

  “I’ll be due for another ledger soon,” he told her. “This one is almost full.”

  Yes, she could see that by how many pages he was going through. “You mark down every transaction you make,” she noted as she picked out the wide range of expenses he had recorded.

  “I like to know exactly how much is in the estate.”

  Considering how her father would forget to record an item from time to time and had to go through the ledger to adjust the numbers, Benjamin was smart to do that. Her father would be in a grumpy mood all day when he noticed a discrepancy in his account. Her mother once told her that was how her father was and all they could do was patiently wait for him to be his pleasant self again. Emilia got the feeling that she didn’t have to worry about Benjamin having such bad moods. He seemed meticulous in his recordkeeping.

  “Here we are,” Benjamin said. “This is what we have as of this morning.” He held the book out to her.

  He wasn’t only going to let her hold the ledger, but he’d also said that this was the amount they had? As in her and him? Surely, it couldn’t mean what she thought it did. No husband ever allowed his wife the same kind of access to the money that he had.

  Benjamin probably didn’t realize how his words sounded to her. He tended to speak first and think later. Yes, that had to be it. There was no way he was giving her full access to the money in the estate. He was an unusual gentleman, but he wasn’t that unusual.

  She accepted the book and set it in her lap. She noted the amount he had, and her eyes nearly popped out of her head. He was wealthy beyond her wildest imagination. No wonder her father adored him. Her dowry looked like a mere farthing compared to what he had.

  “And you have no debts?” she asked, just to be sure there wasn’t something she was missing.

  “The column for debts is blank.”

  He pointed to the empty column, and then he turned a few pages back in the ledger so she could see that he hadn’t ever filled in that column.

  How far did that go, though? Surely, he’d had debt at some point. She hadn’t heard of a single gentleman who hadn’t. Even her father had had debt in his past. He hadn’t gotten into debt for years, but she recalled overhearing him talk about it with his friends when she was a child. But as she worked her way to the front of the book, she didn’t see anything in the debt column.

  “My father didn’t have any debt, either,” Benjamin told her, sounding surprised she was going through the book. “I inherited an estate in excellent standing.”

  She bit her lower lip. He had a lot of money, and it seemed to her that he wasn’t in the habit of being a wasteful spender. A wife who wanted to spend a lot of his money, especially in one afternoon, might be a frightful thing.

  She did a quick estimate of how much she could safely spend. She needed to spend enough money to convince him to let her live in a separate residence so as not to risk losing it all to the whims of a spendthrift. But she also needed him to allow her an allowance since her father had given him her entire dowry.

  After she settled on the amount she would spend for the day, she closed the book and turned her gaze to him. “I’ve decided what I want to do today. I want to go shopping.”

  “Wonderful! I’d like to know what kinds of things you’re interested in. I had the most difficult time coming up with a wedding present, and when I did, it turned out your father most likely won’t approve of it. I have so much to learn.”

  Looking far too happy with the idea of watching her spend his money, he took the ledger and hurried out of the room. She released her breath and shook her head. She should spend more than she’d originally planned. She had to make it clear to him that it was dangerous to let her have access to his money.

  She’d failed to dissuade him with her looks and her finicky taste in furniture. This had to be the method that would work. Gentlemen could forgive many things, but she doubted a single one could tolerate a reckless spender, especially when he was as careful with managing his money as Benjamin was.

  She had to push aside the stab of guilt she experienced. This had to be done. And he had to see her do it. This was all for a good cause. Perhaps she could return most of the items once she was in her own townhouse. She was sure Benjamin would be kind but firm with her as he reprimanded her for being wasteful with his money.

  Then he would tell her that there was no way he could allow her to keep living with him. He would settle on an allowance that would let her live comfortably, she was sure. But he would toss her out of this townhouse. He had the future of his estate to think about. Above all else, the estate was the most important thing a titled gentleman had.

  Yes, that was the plan. The guilt eased. Not completely, but enough. This was the plan that was going to work. By this time tomorrow, she’d be living on her own.

  Chapter Six

  At first, Benjamin thought he was imagining it, but by the
time the carriage pulled up to the fifth shop, he realized that Emilia kept twirling her hair around her finger in a way that indicated she was uncomfortable.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “Nothing.” She glanced out the carriage window as the footman approached the door.

  He watched her increase the twirling in her hair. It didn’t seem like it was nothing to him. It seemed like something was most definitely bothering her. “Are you sure? If there’s anything wrong, I can help.”

  The footman opened the door, and she let out a nervous giggle. “Everything’s fine. I’m shopping. What can be wrong when a lady is shopping?”

  Before he could respond, she hurried out of the carriage. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, he followed her. If he had any experience with members of the more delicate sex, he was sure he could figure out what was going on. His mother had been a lady, of course, but the relationship between a lad and his mother was much different than the one a husband and his wife shared.

  He went with her into the shop. The first two shops had been for accessories like hair pins, ribbons, gloves, and hats. The third had been for slippers. The fourth had been for jewelry. This was also a jewelry shop. He was sure that she was unaware of it, but he enjoyed seeing her select things to purchase. It was an excellent way of learning about her.

  Judging by her taste in jewelry, it was quickly occurring to him that she just might like the necklace he had bought for her. He had thought to ask her father if he approved of the gift before giving it to her. If her father said no, then his plan was to sell it. But if he were to sell it, she might not be happy. She seemed drawn to a variety of colors, and she seemed especially excited by things that sparkled.

  He didn’t blame her for that. She was lovely no matter what she wore, but he had to admit that when she wore colorful gowns and chose to adorn herself with an assortment of accessories and sparkling jewels, she took his breath away.

  She picked up a ring that flashed multiple colors. She smiled as she turned it in the sunlight that poured in through the window, and right away, Benjamin noted that she liked it.