Wagon Trail Bride Page 5
“Richard?”
She and Richard looked over in time to see Mr. Larson approaching.
“Yes, Pa?” Richard asked.
“A couple of the men are going to do some hunting. We could use another man, if you don’t mind,” his pa replied.
Richard glanced at Amanda, and she indicated he should go. He’d spent too much time with her as it was.
“Sure. I’ll be right there,” Richard told him.
His pa tipped his hat in a greeting to Amanda before he left.
She expected Richard to stand up right away, but instead, he placed his hand on her shoulder. “Promise me you’ll take care of yourself?”
“I will.” She had to. Now that she knew how much he cared for her, she couldn’t disappoint him by not doing as he wished.
He squeezed her shoulder, said thanks, and went to retrieve his gun.
She watched him, wondering what she’d ever said or done to deserve such devotion. Surely, just because she’d laughed at his jokes when they were younger and listened to his stories, it didn’t mean she’d earned his love. But he loved her. Really and truly loved her. And all this time, she’d only thought of him as a friend.
As Richard went over to his pa and two other men who were ready to hunt, she caught sight of Joe. How long had Joe been watching her? She broke eye contact with Joe, her face growing warm. She’d like to believe Joe would keep his distance, but she had a nagging suspicion it was only a matter of time before he closed in on her. And God only knew what would happen then.
***
That evening as the sun was near to setting, Amanda saw Laura who was by herself under a tree, staring at her hands in her lap. She went over to her and waited until Laura looked up at her before speaking. “Mind if I sit?”
Laura shook her head and gestured for her to sit next to her.
Amanda settled next to her, glad Laura had been gracious enough to give her permission. Pushing aside a few fallen strands of her dark hair, Amanda considered her words. Up to now, she hadn’t exactly been the easiest person Laura could deal with, but that was going to change starting now.
Releasing her breath, Amanda began, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so harsh with you earlier. I… Well, the truth is, I haven’t been very nice to you since we met. I’ve been struggling with some things, and I’ve let my own difficulties get in the way of being the kind of person I should be.”
“What happened?”
“It’s too painful to talk about.”
“But your husband knows, doesn’t he?”
“Yes, but he’s the only one, and I prefer to keep it that way.”
Laura nodded and unfolded her hands, choosing to smooth her skirt out in front of her. “I understand. You don’t need to worry. I won’t ask you anything about it anymore.”
Relieved Laura hadn’t pressed her for more information, she relaxed. “Thank you.”
“Now it all makes sense.” When Amanda’s eyebrows furrowed, she explained, “You keep to yourself a lot. I thought it was because you were shy. That’s why I kept coming over to talk to you.” She smiled. “I felt bad you were all by yourself. I had no idea you wanted it that way.”
“I thought it was because we’re close in age.”
“You look like you’re eighteen.”
“I turned twenty a couple months ago.”
“I’ve been twenty for half a year, so we’re closer than I thought.” Laura wiped a tear from her cheek. “Elsie was only twenty-one. I thought she was twenty-five. Would you have believed she was that young?”
Amanda shook her head. “No. Like you I thought she was in her mid-twenties. I wonder if her overbearing mother made her older than she really was.”
After a moment, Laura said, “I asked her one time why she brought her mother along since her mother kept complaining about leaving New York. Elsie said no one else wanted to take care of her, and Jesse was willing to put up with her for her sake.”
Amanda grimaced. Now Jesse would be stuck with her. “Poor Jesse.”
Maybe some people had it worse than she did. Even if she had to deal with the ramifications of what Mr. Price did to her, at least she had Richard. Who did Jesse have to help him through his problems?
“I think what makes everything worse is the fact that Jesse loved Elsie so much,” Laura said. “I see how Mr. Carmichael is with his wife, and there’s no love in that marriage. They put up with each other because they made their vows. Sometimes I wonder why they even married in the first place. Did they once love each other but that love grew cold over the years? Or maybe they didn’t love each other to begin with and married because they had to. It’s surprising how much of a difference there is when people love each other. And there’s no doubt Jesse loved Elsie, just like Richard loves you,” Laura commented as she picked up a small flower and sniffed it.
Amanda scanned the land for Richard and found him quite a distance out with a couple other men. How was it possible Laura could tell Richard loved her, but she’d remained oblivious to it this whole time? Did anyone else know?
“I can also tell Mr. Otto loves you,” Laura added in a whisper.
Amanda turned her gaze back to the other woman. There was no way she could know about Joe’s past with her. Neither she nor Joe spoke anything about it. At least, she’d assumed Joe had kept quiet on the matter. Why would he want anyone to know they’d shared a romantic past? It wouldn’t change anything. She was still married to Richard.
Laura rose to her feet and swiped bits of grass from her skirt. “I should see if my mother needs help.” Without waiting for Amanda’s reply, she headed to her family’s wagon, still holding the flower in her hand.
Amanda swallowed the lump in her throat. She hoped Laura was just unusually perceptive, that no one else could tell so much about her and the others in the camp. After a long moment, she stood up and headed for her and Richard’s wagon. She could feel the weight of Joe’s gaze on her. It seemed no matter where she went, she was aware of him.
And now that she knew how Richard felt about her, it made things worse. Up to now, she’d assumed theirs was only a marriage born of necessity. This new information changed everything, but she wasn’t exactly sure how.
Chapter Seven
Richard pulled the trigger, and this time he hit his mark. The buck fell to the ground.
“Good shot, son,” his pa said from next to him.
With a grin, Richard said, “I guess it’s not so hard to hunt once you get the hang of it.”
“Out in Omaha, we’ll probably need to do some hunting, even if they have a butcher,” his pa replied. “At any rate, it doesn’t hurt to have the skill in case you ever need it.”
“I’m glad I won’t have to do this all the time. Amanda and I will be living in town. You might want to go into farming, but I don’t.”
“I know, but it never hurts to acquire a new skill.”
“I didn’t mean it that way. I’m glad I’m learning how to do this. I just hope I’ll never need to use it.”
“Omaha is a growing town. They’ll need someone to build houses and businesses.”
Richard nodded. That’s what he kept telling himself. Even without a railroad station there to conveniently bring in supplies, there had to be other ways to make it work. Maybe they used brick.
“You know,” his pa continued, “even if you don’t go into building houses, you could always fix things wrong with a house.”
“That’s true.” Why hadn’t he thought of that before?
“All I’m saying is there’s more than one way to look at a situation. I know you’re uncertain about what the future will bring, but if you’re willing to be flexible and try new things, like hunting, you’ll be surprised what opportunities will come along.”
Richard chuckled. “I didn’t realize I was going to get a lecture when I came out here with you and the others.” He gestured to the two other men who were too far from them to hear them.
“I might ha
ve brought you out here to have a talk,” his pa admitted, “but you did get us a buck.”
“No one is more surprised than I am.”
“Don’t underestimate yourself.” He tapped the handle of his rifle a few times and glanced at him.
Picking on his pa’s hesitation, Richard prompted, “What?”
“You’re a newlywed. I might be an old man—”
“You’re not old.” Then with a smirk, he added, “Not for another year anyway.”
Shooting him an amused smile, his pa said, “I know you’re twenty now, but it doesn’t seem like it was that long ago when I married your ma. I wanted to spend every spare minute I had with her. We’ve already discussed this, and I know you said you don’t mind helping Joe with the nighttime watch…”
“But?”
“But it’s not right for you to do so many of the lookouts. There are other men here who can do it. Understandably, Jesse’s out. He’s got too much grief, but there’s no reason why the rest of the men can’t take your spot and give you time to spend with Amanda.”
His face warmed as he caught his pa’s meaning. He couldn’t blame his father for wondering why he wasn’t making it a point to spend more evenings with Amanda. If he was in his pa’s shoes, he’d be wondering the same thing. No one but him knew what happened to Amanda, and since she didn’t want anyone else to know, he wasn’t going to say anything. So his pa was going to have to have questions that went unanswered.
To his pa’s credit, he never pressed Richard for more information. If he suspected there was more to the story than Richard had told him when he announced his marriage to Amanda, he kept quiet on the matter, and Richard appreciated that. It made things easier. And since his father was willing to let Richard and Amanda have their privacy, Richard decided the least he could do was agree to spend fewer nights on the lookout.
“You’re right,” Richard finally said. “I just didn’t want to burden anyone else with the job.”
“It’s not a burden, son. The rest of us have as much invested in this trip as you do. Tonight, I’ll help Joe with the watch.”
Richard nodded, and his pa turned his attention back to hunting.
Maybe it was for the best if he spent the night with Amanda. She seemed to think the world would be better off if she wasn’t in it. He could only hope by letting her know how much she meant to him, she would want to live. The Amanda he used to know was still somewhere inside her. It’d just been buried by the horrible things that had happened. His gut tightened every time he thought back to the night he’d found her in the alley.
The wind had swept the hat off his head, and before he could retrieve it, a stray dog had snatched it up. He chased the dog down the alley, but he forgot all about his hat when he heard someone crying softly under a tattered blanket and other garbage. Never in a million years did he expect to find Amanda under there, shivering, unnaturally pale, and covered in dirt.
He pushed the memory away. He didn’t like to think of her that way. That wasn’t who she was. She was the person he’d grown up with, and he liked to think of that part of her past. She might have forgotten it, but he hadn’t. And, more importantly, he wouldn’t.
One memory he liked to go back to more than the others was the day his family had joined hers for a picnic. They were sixteen at the time, and he had been thinking of ways he might ask if he could court her. He’d never forget how lovely she’d looked that day with the yellow ribbon pulling her dark hair back. That ribbon matched her dress, which had been trimmed in white lace.
He remembered the dress as well as he did because she had worried it wouldn’t turn out right. But it had. In fact, it’d turned out more than alright. It was perfect, and he’d have to be blind not to appreciate the way it showed off her curves.
For the moment, he allowed himself the luxury of going back to that day in his mind.
They went to the park, and as she helped the women set up the food, he couldn’t decide what he should do. The conversation her father and his father were having about the factory didn’t interest him. He had no plans to work in the factory. He’d worked some hours there after school, but he already knew he didn’t want to be stuck there for the rest of his life.
Amanda’s only sister was twenty-three and living with her husband, so she wasn’t there. That only left his brothers and sisters. His brothers, except for three-year-old Joel who stayed with his ma, were playing with a ball, but he felt like he was too old to play the game with them.
So he lingered under a tree, wondering if he could help the women out. It wasn’t that he wanted to help set up the food, but he wouldn’t mind being near Amanda. If anything it’d give him a chance to talk to her. He glanced at Tom and Dave who were kicking a ball around.
He glanced back at the women. His and Amanda’s mothers were at one blanket with Jenny and Joel, and Amanda and thirteen-year-old Sally were at the other one. From what he could see, Amanda and Sally could use some help.
Decision made, he walked over to Amanda who was trying to smooth out the blanket that kept curling up whenever the wind blew on it. He picked up a rock and set it on the corner of the blanket.
“Thanks,” Amanda told him.
“I’m happy to help,” he replied, aware of the heat rising in his cheeks from the way she smiled at him. He’d like to think she gave him that smile because he meant a little more to her than any other boy at school, but he suspected that was wishful thinking. “I’ll get more rocks to put on the other corners of the blanket,” he said as he hurried to gather them.
Once he was done anchoring the blanket, he set out the plates and utensils while Amanda and Sally took care of the fried chicken, ham sandwiches, dainty cakes, corn on the cob, and strawberries.
“I didn’t know you knew how to set a table,” Sally told Richard, her eyebrows raised, challenging him to respond.
He waved her comment off, hoping she wouldn’t press the issue. Tom, yes, he expected grief from him, but Sally had more sense than their younger brother.
“We’ll have to have you help out more often at home now that I know you can do it,” Sally added with a sweet smile that hid her subtle teasing.
Sally was always a smart one, quick to catch on, so it didn’t surprise him she picked up on his interest in Amanda. As long as she kept things subtle, he could deal with it. When Amanda wasn’t looking, he shot his sister a look that silently asked her to not let anyone else know he had an interest in Amanda.
To his relief, she winked at him then told Amanda, “I better help Ma. Joel is ready to get into the pie.”
Curious, Richard glanced over and saw Joel was, in fact, reaching for the pie and licking his lips. Sally stopped him just in time, a fact which wasn’t lost on their mother who cried out with relief.
Amanda chuckled. “Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a younger brother or sister, but then I decide I’m better off with things as they are.”
He laughed. “I don’t know. It’s not so bad if you can get them to do what you want.”
“Come now. I know you, and you don’t take advantage of them.”
“I could if I wanted to. I’m the oldest, so they think I know everything. I hope you won’t tell them they’re wrong.”
“Your secret is safe with me.” As she put out a cloth napkin between each plate, she added, “If it was me, I’d take advantage of it. Instead of having to wash dishes, I’d convince my younger sister to do it. Or I could probably get out of cleaning up the apartment.”
“I think your ma might catch on and stop you if you did.”
“Knowing her, she probably would spoil all the fun.”
“Besides, you don’t have it in you any more than I do. You’re too nice.”
“It is fun to dream about, though.” She finished setting out the napkins and turned to face him. “Tell me, Richard. How do you and your family manage in that three-bedroom apartment?”
“It’s not easy,” he admitted. “There’s no such thing as p
rivacy. Everywhere I turn, I’m bumping into someone. The boys sleep in one room, the girls in another, and my parents in another. Pa’s getting tired of it. He’s been looking at getting a bigger place, but we can’t afford it, even with me working after school.” In case she got the wrong idea that he was going to stay with his parents indefinitely, he added, “I’ll be out of the apartment soon. As long as my ma doesn’t have any more babies, there will be more room for everyone.”
“Yes, but your brothers and sisters are only going to get bigger. Even with you gone, it’ll be crowded.”
“Then the oldest will have to shove the younger ones aside. I feel sorry for Joel. Being so little, he doesn’t have a chance unless he learns how to outwit his older brothers and sisters.”
“Well, if Sally hadn’t caught him, he would have gotten the pie all to himself,” she said. “I think he’s got a good start.”
He grinned. “Yep, he does.”
After a moment of silence passed between them, she said, “I have a confession to make.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, usually I don’t care for picnics when our families do this. There’s usually a breeze that makes it hard to keep things where they should be, and bugs are a nuisance. But there’s one thing that makes it worthwhile.”
Noting the hesitant tone in her voice, he encouraged, “What is it?”
“The fact that you’re here. You know me. I’m not much of a girly girl. I don’t fit in very well at school because all the other girls want to do is talk about their hair, their clothes, or boys. I’d rather spend my time doing arithmetic or figuring out how investments work.”
“Well, for someone who doesn’t care much for the things girls like, you sure dress up a lot like one.”