Forced into Marriage Page 4

  “Are you alright?” Brandon asked.

  She jumped. She hadn’t realized he was watching her. “I’m fine,” she told him. “The baby’s moving, that’s all.”

  His steps slowed, and she found hers slowing with him. “Maybe we should take a break.”

  “There’s no need. I feel fine.”

  His gaze went ahead of them, which seemed like an endless sea of grass, and then went back to her. “I know I told you that I want to get to the river before your child is born, but you don’t have to make yourself uncomfortable in order to get there.”

  “I’m not. I can keep walking.”

  Fortunately, he resumed his pacing. She had worried he would make her stop again, and she didn’t think she had the patience to sit around and wait until he felt like she could go again. Why didn’t men ever believe something a woman said? If she was a man, she bet he would listen to her. But since she was a woman, he assumed she didn’t know anything.

  Maybe if he knew she had given birth before, he would believe her when she said she felt fine. She didn’t know him well enough to tell him about her past, though. Not that it mattered. Her first baby hadn’t survived the birth. This one might not, either. If life had taught her anything, it was that nothing was guaranteed.

  Trying not to think about losing her daughter, she focused on the land in front of her. She had learned to take things one day at a time, and right now, she would go one step at a time. She would eventually reach her destination. Hopefully, she would do so with her child.

  By the time they had stopped for the night, she thought they had made good progress. For the most part, they spent their time eating in silence. When he pulled out his map, however, her curiosity got the best of her and she went over to him.

  “Mind if I look at the map?” she asked.

  “Can you read a map?”

  “I can read enough of the white man’s map to get to where I need to.” Noting the way his eyebrows furrowed, she added, “My people traded with your kind. My tribe didn’t stay in one place. We had to know where your people would be so we could trade with them.”

  He patted the spot next to him, so she knelt down. “If you didn’t know how to read a map, I was going to teach you.” He set the map between them. “We’re here.” He pointed to the spot. “This is where the river is.”

  “Where is the nearest town?”

  “That will be here.”

  He brought his finger down to a small dot with lettering on it. Though she might be able to read a map, she couldn’t read their language. She thought of asking him what the town was called, but then she decided against it. He didn’t know she couldn’t read. In fact, he really didn’t need to know that much about her. Once she got to town, they would never see each other again.

  “How long will it take to get there?” she asked.

  “At the rate we’re going and the fact that you’ll give birth before then?” He paused and studied the map. “A month at the soonest, but it’ll probably be more like a month and a half. We can’t have you moving for a few days after the baby is born.”

  A month to a month and a half? That wasn’t what she’d been hoping to hear. She was hoping it would take a couple of weeks.

  “I can walk faster,” she told him. “I don’t have to go as slow as you’re making me walk.”

  “I’m doing what is best for the baby. You’re in a delicate condition. We can’t put any more strain on you than we already are.”

  She opened her mouth to protest, to tell him that women in her tribe had given birth and were expected to take care of cooking and walking the very next day. Granted, they had taken things slower than they usually did, but they weren’t so helpless that they had to stay still for a few days. But would he believe her? Would he take her word for it? She was just a woman, after all. If he had been a part of her tribe, he would have understood it because he would have seen all of this for himself.

  After a moment, she decided to let him think whatever he wanted. It probably wouldn’t make much of a difference anyway. A month to a month and a half was still an abnormally long time to be stuck with someone she hadn’t asked to be married to, but then, he was in the same position she was. She should just be glad he hadn’t raped her. At least he was being nice.

  With a sigh of resignation, she offered him a nod and got up so she could help him make their dinner.

  ***

  Later that night, Brandon shivered. At first, he thought it was from the chill in the air. Even in the summer, the nights along the prairie could be cool, and the small campfire did little to take the chill off. But soon, he realized what the problem was. He needed a drink.

  He sat up in his bedroll and glanced over at Lokni who was sound asleep. Good. As long as she wasn’t awake, he could do what he wished without her seeing him. The last thing he needed was her disapproving scowl. Women didn’t understand why men needed to have a drink from time to time.

  He hadn’t had anything last night, and he could feel the restless feeling crawling through him. He needed some whiskey. Just a little. Two gulps. Three at the most. All he needed was a little bit to tide him over through the night. To take the edge off the strain of their current predicament. Being the sole protector to an expectant woman was no easy feat.

  Careful not to wake her, he got up and went to his sack where he had hidden six flasks of whiskey. Thankfully, no one had touched his belongings when he had left them in the livery stable with his horse. In addition to that, he had had the foresight to fill all his flasks before he went to the bar where Orson and his men found him. Now, he had enough to last him until he reached the next town. From there, they would go to the Utah Territory.

  From there, they would go through Nevada and then finally get to California. They still had a long ways to go, but at least they were making progress. They just had to take it one day at a time. At least by now, they should be far enough so that Orson and his goons wouldn’t be able to find them.

  He took a flask from his sack and looked over at Lokni to make sure she was still asleep. Then he went a few feet from the camp so he wouldn’t wake her. He settled onto the grass and removed the lid of the flask.

  He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. This marriage was just as awful for Lokni as it was for him. Neither had asked to be put in this position, but what could they do? Even if his first marriage hadn’t worked out, he still believed marriage should last a lifetime. So they were stuck together whether they liked it or not.

  Forcing aside the urge to cry, he took a long swallow of the alcohol, and at once, the familiar liquid soothed him. There was nothing as comforting as whiskey on a cool, lonely night. He stared at the land in front of him. Out in that direction was California. The place where he could get a new start.

  He took another long swallow of the whiskey. No one understood how much he needed this. Just a little drink at the end of the day to relax. That’s all he ever needed. If only Joe had understood that, then Joe wouldn’t have left him in town. Then he wouldn’t be married right now.

  But then… Without meaning to, he glanced over at Lokni who was a good ways from him. From the distance, he couldn’t even make out her face. He could only make out the curve of her body as she slept under the blanket.

  She had a child. An innocent little human being who hadn’t asked to come into the world. What would have happened to her and the child if Orson and his goons hadn’t dragged him out to the preacher’s house to marry her? What other kind of man would they have found instead? Would it be someone who knew that the innocent and vulnerable should be protected? Or would it have been someone who didn’t have any morals?

  He took one more swallow and then screwed the cap back on the flask. Maybe things did happen for a reason. So few people out here cared much for the law. It wasn’t a civilized area. The preacher had been right about that. In Omaha, he couldn’t think of a single time when a group of men had held a defenseless woman hostage and abused her the way Lokni had be
en abused. If he hadn’t been at the bar, what would have become of her? The chances of a woman and child making it all the way out here without the help of a man just weren’t all that good.

  With a sigh, he got to his feet and headed back to the camp. He slipped the flask into his sack before he returned to his bedroll. At least with the whiskey in his veins, he would get a good night’s sleep. He closed his eyes, and sure enough, he soon fell into a dreamless sleep where all his troubles vanished.

  Chapter Five

  Brandon breathed a sigh of relief as they made it to the river six days later. They were able to reach it before the baby was born. He hadn’t been sure if they would because over the past few days, Lokni had looked like she was in pain. It didn’t happen all the time. Just once in a while. And whenever he asked her about it, she insisted she was fine.

  Though he hadn’t been convinced, he kept his mouth shut and continued walking. She was surprisingly stubborn. She wasn’t anything like his first wife. She would have taken a break at any opportunity he gave her.

  Maybe Lokni didn’t need a break because she’d grown up in rugged territory. Maybe the women in her tribe lived a harsher life. Maybe she was reluctant to accept help from him because he was white, just like Orson and his friends had been. Maybe when she looked at him, he reminded her of them and all the pain they’d put her through. Or maybe…just maybe, it was a little bit of everything.

  Either way, he couldn’t blame her. He had difficulties trusting people after what he’d been through. But what had happened to him couldn’t be compared to the kinds of things Lokni had endured. Being a man, at least he’d been able to take the wagon train and leave. The only way Lokni could go anywhere was if she had a man with her because she was in no position to protect herself or the child she was carrying.

  Well, at least they were at the river. From here, they would have a fresh water source. And just in time, too. They were down to the last couple of gulps in their canteens. Had it not been for the rain the other night that he’d collected, they wouldn’t have had anything at all.

  He took his horse to the nearest tree and wrapped the reins around it. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Lokni hurrying over to the river to get some water. She cupped the water in the palms of her hands and quickly swallowed before dipping them into the water again.

  He knew she was thirsty. He shook his head. Either she was stubborn or she was too proud to tell him when she needed something. Probably both. The two traits seemed to go together.

  After he set out their bedding for the evening, he took their canteens to the river. At first, he almost went near her, but then he figured she would probably rather be alone and chose a spot further away. He dared another glance over at her as he filled up the first canteen. She was washing her face.

  Curious, he dipped his free hand into the water. It was cool but not uncomfortably so. It’d probably been awhile since she had a bath. He hadn’t had one in over two weeks. He glanced at the sky. Judging by the position of the sun, it was around five. It was earlier than when they usually stopped for the evening, but he’d been so excited to get to the river that his first thought was to set up camp and rest. Lokni, especially, could use the break.

  Once he finished filling both canteens, he went over to her. She stopped drinking a handful of water and looked up at him.

  “I filled up your canteen,” he said. “The water isn’t that cold, and we got plenty of daylight left. If you want to take a bath, now would be a good time.” In case she thought he was going to use this as an excuse to see her naked, he added, “I’ll have my back turned to the river, so you don’t need to worry that I’ll be watching you.”

  Her gaze went to the river, and he caught the desire to take a bath flicker over her face.

  To further encourage her, he added, “I’ll get the soap, towel, and new clothes for you.”

  “New clothes?” she asked.

  “While we were in town, the preacher got a couple of new things for you. One skirt and shirtwaist are for after the baby is born. He also got a dress you can use before you have the baby. He got you a belt so you can tighten the dress around your waist after the baby is born.” He paused then added, “When you have the baby, we’ll stay put for a few days, and we’ll clean the clothes you’re wearing now at that time. For now, I’ll get the new ones and bring them to you. Just bring the old ones to me when you’re done, and I’ll put them away.”

  Without waiting for her to reply, he went to grab the things she would need for her bath.

  ***

  It was two days later when Lokni’s contractions were real. She’d had false ones over the past week, and though she hadn’t told Brandon about them, it did make it harder to keep going. But she was determined to make good time on their travel to the next town, so she focused on the blades of grass in front of her as they trudged through the endless prairie. As soon as they reached the river, he had told her that she could give birth any time she wanted. To this, she rolled her eyes, though she made sure he hadn’t seen her do it. Men understood nothing about birth and how things worked.

  When she realized her contractions were getting stronger and more frequent, instead of becoming softer and growing further apart, she knew her labor was real.

  “We have to stop,” she told him as another round of pain wrapped around her abdomen.

  “You need a break?” he asked.

  “The baby’s ready,” she said.

  Then, without waiting for him to respond, she went near the river and removed the undergarments from under her dress. Fortunately, they weren’t soiled. Last time, she had bled on her clothes at this point into the labor.

  Out of breath, she sat on the grass and spread her legs. If she wasn’t careful, she might faint. The day was a hot one, and the midday sun beating down on her wasn’t helping. She needed a moment to gather her strength before she could move again in order to encourage the progression of the labor.

  Once Brandon secured the horse to a lone bush, he ran over to her, his expression one a mixture of panic and shock. “Are you having the baby right now?”

  “No, not yet. I just needed to sit down.” She took a deep breath and released it. Already, her head started to clear.

  He knelt beside her. “What do you need me to do?”

  “We’ll need some water. Some for me and some for cleaning up the baby when it comes. Get one of the preacher’s old shirts.”

  He nodded and hurried back to the supplies that were with the horse.

  She didn’t dare tell him the baby might not make it, that they might be burying the little one. She didn’t want to think that way. Her mother had told her that it wasn’t wise to worry about the bad that might happen. You can’t change the future by worrying about it, her mother had said. All you’ll do is make yourself sad.

  Her mother was right. She would just focus on giving birth. After that, she would see what needed to be done.

  Brandon made quick time on getting enough water for her and the baby. He set a pot full of water next to her then gave her the canteen. “Here. Drink some.”

  She waited for the contraction to subside before she took it. The cool water from the river was wonderfully refreshing. She hated to admit it, but she was glad they had made it to the river before the baby was ready to be born. It would make things easier.

  She took a deep breath and rose to her feet.

  “What are you doing?” he asked in alarm. “You need to stay on the ground.”

  She shook her head. “It’ll go faster if I keep moving.”

  “You can’t keep walking. Not now.”

  “I won’t go further than the horse.”

  He watched her as she did this, and after she reached the horse on her third time, another contraction came over her. Gritting her teeth, she squatted down and counted backwards, careful to keep her breathing slow and steady.

  “What are you doing?” he called out. “Are you having the baby right now?”

  Sh
e ignored him and concentrated on her counting and breathing.

  To her surprise, he touched her shoulder, and she let out a yelp and fell back.

  “I’m sorry,” he said as he hurried to help her back into the squatting position. “I thought you needed me to deliver the baby.”

  “Not yet,” she replied through the contraction. “It’s going to be a while.”

  “How long?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You don’t have any idea at all?”

  “Will you stop it?” she snapped. “The pain is worse when you’re talking.”

  He let go of her and backed up. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop. Just let me know when you need me to do something.”

  She forced aside the hurt tone in his voice. She couldn’t think about that right now. Not when the pain was getting worse. She would have to apologize once she could think straight.

  While he made a campfire and set out their things, she alternated between walking and squatting. He kept his distance. From time to time, he’d watch her, probably to gauge whether or not she needed him, but it took all of her focus to breathe through the pain.

  The people in her tribe considered it an honor to scream while in labor. The louder the screams, the more impressed the men were with how difficult this process was. But she didn’t think the same would be true for Brandon. She thought if she screamed, he would panic. He had already been hovering over her like a mother hen ever since they left the preacher’s home.

  When it was finally time for the baby to be born, the sun was ready to set for the night. Brandon was by the campfire, still watching her with a worried frown on his face. From the looks of it, he hadn’t eaten much of his supper.

  She hesitated for a moment but then waved him over to where she stood by a towel and a pot of water. He jumped to his feet and ran over to her.