Bound by Honor Bound by Love Read online

  Onawa studied her sister’s worried expression and asked, “Why wouldn’t he be?”

  Woape shrugged. “I don’t know, Onawa. When it comes to Citlali, I never know what he’s thinking or feeling. I hope it won’t be the same for you.”

  As Julia came over to hug Onawa, Onawa refused to let Woape’s apprehension affect her. Citlali was a good man. He’d be good to her. She was certain of it.

  Chapter Two

  “Citlali, I need to speak to you.”

  Citlali turned from the wedding guests to face the chief who was smiling at him. “Our people have a new hope. May the Lone Man bless your marriage with many children.”

  “Thank you, Mahkah,” Citlali replied, pleased the man chose to bless his marriage.

  “Once you consummate the union, I want you to see me.”

  “You mean that I should come to your lodge tomorrow morning?”

  “No. Tonight.”

  Citlali glanced at Onawa. He’d been looking forward to being alone with her. She was beautiful, much more so than Woape. Better yet, unlike Woape, she seemed to genuinely care for him, if her smiles were an indication of how she felt. And he was eager to take her to his bed and discover what was under her clothes. If she intrigued him with her wedding dress on, he could only imagine how much better she’d look without it.

  “We have an important matter to discuss,” the chief said, taking Citlali’s mind off of kissing and holding Onawa. “Three white men wish to speak to the people in our tribe. They want to learn about our sacred objects, our way of life, and our beliefs so they can record them.”

  “Why would they want to do that?”

  “They say they want to put what they learn into a book. It’s a sacrilege. Our people earn the right to such knowledge. The white man has earned nothing. We’ve become too friendly with them. This constant mingling with the white man is hurting us because some of our people are already marrying a white man or woman. The last thing we need to do is share our most intimate beliefs with them.”

  Citlali couldn’t argue the chief’s point. Woape ran off and married a white man, and Chogan chose to marry a white woman. And those were just two examples. The white man had come and restricted their land, pushing them and other Indian tribes further west so they could get the best of the Earth’s bounty. The Mandans preferred peace instead of war. In fact, they’d made many concessions with the white man, working with them whenever possible. But the Mandan numbers were getting smaller, and those who knew the traditions of the people—their songs, their myths, their ceremonies—were becoming less and less.

  “I’ll come to your lodge later tonight,” Citlali finally said, careful to conceal his disappointment since he’d have to leave Onawa sooner than he wished. It was for the good of the tribe. He was the second chief, and he had a responsibility to their people.

  “Good,” the chief replied before he sauntered away.

  The group who attended the wedding slowly dispersed as he made his way to Onawa who was looking far lovelier than he ever recalled seeing her. They had spent enough time with their family and friends. Now, they could turn their attention to more intimate matters.

  His heartbeat picked up when he reached her side, but he kept his expression void of the excitement strumming through his veins. “Are you ready to go to my lodge? I can carry your things over.”

  Her face turned a pretty shade of pink, something he thought was utterly charming. “Yes, I’m ready.”

  He was tempted to hold her hand as he joined her in walking to her family’s lodge, but he wasn’t sure if he had her permission to do that. Marriages were made out of necessity or for sacred bundles. He knew this was an arrangement between their families, so his clan would acquire a sacred bundle. Woape had to give up her right to the sacred bundle when she didn’t marry him. So his marriage to Onawa wasn’t a love match, but he suspected she cared for him. The question was, did she care for him enough to want him to hold her hand?

  Undecided, he settled for walking close to her. He tried to think of something he could say that would be of interest to her, but at the moment all he could think of was being in bed with her. Often in the past, he struggled to suppress the knowledge that being married to Onawa meant he’d finally enjoy the pleasures of the flesh. But now he was married. And soon, he’d be able to be intimate with her, something he’d anticipated ever since he learned of their betrothal.

  When they reached her lodge, her family gathered around to offer more congratulations. As anxious as he was to be alone with her, he waited while she accepted their hugs, making sure he didn’t show his impatience.

  He collected her things, glad she agreed to move into his family’s lodge. It wasn’t the way things were done. Women owned the lodges, so the groom was expected to move into his wife’s lodge, but since there was no longer a male relative who was old enough to provide food, he wished to stay in his lodge. He knew the myths and traditions of his people and often exchanged these for game the hunters brought to him. On occasion, he hunted, but his skill with the bow was lacking. He had used a gun in the past, but his ability to shoot the animal on the first try wasn’t as good as it could be. Perhaps he’d have Gary, who was now his brother-in-law, teach him.

  But mostly, he was relieved Onawa would be moving into his lodge because he wouldn’t have to see Woape all the time. While he and Woape hadn’t said much to each other, he’d been looking forward to their marriage. Granted, it wasn’t love, but he thought she was pleasant and determined he’d do what he could to be a good husband for her. But she found the idea of marriage to him so abhorrent that she ran away, and it took him a good year before the reminder no longer bothered him.

  And even though it stung to have Gary—the man Woape chose over him—go with him to Bismarck to trade with the white man, Citlali did it for the benefit of the tribe. The trades provided his people with things that made farming and hunting easier. In due time, even the sting of having Gary around subsided, especially since he was a kind man. So the ache of the past had eased, but there was still an uncomfortable feeling between him and Woape that he didn’t wish to deal with on a daily basis. For some reason, she didn’t like him, and he did what he could to keep his distance.

  His gaze went to Onawa who had a smile on her face as she talked with her aunts. Thankfully, he knew she liked him enough to marry him, and truth be told, he found her more pleasant than he’d ever found Woape. It might not be a love match between him and Onawa, but he already knew this marriage would be better than anything he could have had with Woape.

  Onawa glanced in his direction, and he knew she was ready to go with him. Joining her in telling her family thank you for the congratulatory wishes, he led the way out of the lodge. The cold air was a relief after being surrounded by a large group of people. He glanced at her and tried to gauge her feelings about tonight. Was she ready for it?

  “It was a nice ceremony,” he said, unsure of what else to say.

  “Yes, it was.”

  He took a deep breath and tried to determine how much he should tell her. He figured since she married him, it was alright to open himself to her. Clearing his throat, he said, “It is good. You and me.” His confession came out stilted, not at all as smooth as he preferred.

  But she didn’t seem to notice his awkwardness for her face lit up and her smile grew wider. “I think so, too.”

  He smiled in return, still not feeling as natural as he’d like to be. He was most comfortable with the chief, discussing what to do for the tribe. Talking to Onawa was still awkward. He hoped that, in due time, the sensation would pass and he’d develop a relationship as easy as the one he shared with the chief.

  Once they reached his lodge, his mother, sister, younger brother, and three aunts came over to welcome her to the lodge. He hid his irritation. He should’ve expected them to welcome her. Not only did they like her, but she was doing them a favor by moving into their lodge.

  His family surrounded her to talk about th
e beautiful ceremony, so he slipped away from the group. He pulled back the buffalo hide, entered their bedroom, and placed the basket beside the bed. She would know where to put her clothes and other items, so he’d let her do that. But first, they would consummate their marriage.

  He pulled back the blanket. There. Now that the bed was ready, he could get his bride. His family had fussed over her long enough, and they could do so again later. He emerged from his room and headed over to Onawa who was thanking his sister for the beads she gave her to make the wedding dress. For a moment, he studied her dress. Undoubtedly, she spent a lot of time on it. He’d have to be careful when he took it off. He wouldn’t let his impatience to see her naked jeopardize the integrity of the outfit.

  When he reached Onawa’s side, his hand went to the small of her back. She looked over at him, and he turned his attention to those surrounding them. “Onawa has to put her things away.”

  His mother nodded, and the group dispersed. Glad to finally be alone with his wife, he led her to their room. He pushed aside the animal hide that served as the door so she could enter first. After he followed her in, he secured the hide so they had their privacy. The space was darker than he preferred, and he considered lighting a candle and placing it on her basket but decided it wasn’t worth going back out to his family and risk further delay.

  Taking a deep breath to restrain his excitement so he wouldn’t seem too eager, he asked, “Would you like help out of your dress?”

  With a shy smile, she said, “All I need to do is pull it over my head.”

  He nodded. She was probably better off undressing herself, but as her husband, it was his duty to remove the beads from her hair. To his surprise, his hands trembled through the whole process, and for the life of him, he couldn’t stop it. He’d been anxious for this moment, and now that it was here, he felt as if he was going to mess it up. Finally, he managed to get all of the beads out of her hair and put them on the small table near the bed.

  While she took off her dress, he removed his clothing. He tried not to stare, but he was far too excited to find out what she looked like naked. He couldn’t divert his attention from her if his life depended on it. In his eagerness, he tripped on his deerskin leggings.

  As he fell on the bed, she tossed her dress aside and went over to him. “Are you alright?”

  He became aware of her hands, one on his shoulder and the other on his chest. A spark shot straight through him at her touch, and part of it stemmed from the fact that it’d been a long time since anyone touched him, at least in a manner which conveyed concern or caring for him.

  “I’m fine,” he assured her, glad the dim room hid the fact that his response to her was so quick, he didn’t have time to suppress it.

  He knew the way his face softened revealed how much she meant to him. He’d trained himself to hide his emotions since it wasn’t good for a chief to let his feelings dictate his decisions. If someone knew they could sway his opinion, he’d be vulnerable, and if there was something he didn’t want to be, it was vulnerable.

  Clearing his throat to steady his voice, he said, “I tripped. It was nothing.”

  With a soft giggle, she let go of him but remained close to him on the bed so that he was acutely aware of her. “At least you tripped where no one can see. I once tripped in front of my age-grade society and pulled down a sacred robe so that it fell into the fire. I’d never been so embarrassed, and I spent the next two months working to replace the robe.”

  “Why didn’t I hear of this?” he asked, surprised that she could have a sense of humor about something that would have horrified him if he’d been the one who tripped.

  “The girls promised to keep it a secret.”

  “That was nice of them.”

  “Yes, it was. I was very lucky they were understanding. Your sister was one of them, and after that, we became good friends.”

  He nodded. He didn’t know how they became friends, and it never occurred to him to ask. Now he wished he had and thought to ask more about her friendship with his sister. But in the next moment, she shifted and her thigh brushed his, and he decided it was time to learn about her in a more physical sense. There was plenty of time to learn more about the other things later.

  He removed the rest of his clothes and turned his attention back to her. She was still sitting next to him, her body barely touching his, but even so, his pulse raced in anticipation. Knowing it was up to him to make the first move, he took a deep breath before he leaned forward to kiss her. Considering he hadn’t kissed anyone before tonight, he wasn’t sure if he was doing a good job or not. But he became acutely aware of the way his body was reacting to her, and the need to continue what he started prompted him to kiss her again.

  She didn’t seem to mind his kisses since she responded to him. And that was good. He wanted her to respond to him because it meant she wanted to be with him, something he’d never dare tell her but something he needed to know. Pulling her closer to him with one hand, he cupped the side of her face with his other hand and deepened the kiss. His lips parted and he ran his tongue along her lower lip. She opened her mouth to him, and he tentatively brushed her tongue with his. He’d heard of these types of intimate kisses when he overheard some of the other men talking and decided it was just as good as they said. And if this type of activity with a woman was this wonderful, he could only imagine how much better being inside her would be.

  He pulled her into his arms and took note of how nice her breasts felt pressed against his chest. Nice? It was more than nice. He loved it. Unable to resist feeling them, he brought his hand to one of them and cupped it in his hand. She let out a soft sigh that he almost missed, but it let him know she enjoyed it—and that made it easier for him to continue.

  His lips left hers and traveled from her mouth to her cheek and then to her neck. She didn’t seem to mind this either. In fact, she pressed her hands on his back and pulled him closer to her. That was good, too. He wasn’t imagining she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

  Encouraged, he further explored the breast in his hand. She was soft and full, and when his thumb brushed her nipple, he noticed the way it hardened for him. This only served to arouse him even more. Quickly overcoming his inhibitions, he gently urged her to lie back on the bed and settled next to her. She was absolutely wonderful. Her taste, her smell, her skin, and especially the way she responded to him all beckoned for him to stop worrying about how she might perceive him and just to be who he was. And right now, he was probably the most excited man on the Earth.

  Groaning, he ended the kiss and brought his mouth to her nipple, eager to explore this part of her with his tongue. She shifted next to him and arched her back so that he could better explore her. He kissed the hardened nipple and brushed it with his tongue while he continued to caress the rest of her breast. She massaged his biceps, a silent message to keep going. So he went to her other breast and did the same thing to it.

  Everything about her was so completely wonderful. Of all the people in the tribe, she was one of the very few who seemed to genuinely like him. With her, he sensed no pretense—nothing to indicate that she was being nice to him because of his position in the tribe. No, with her, it was real. And now she was letting him be with her in a way that no one else had. The honor wasn’t lost to him.

  He lifted his head from her breast and left a row of kisses up her chest, up her neck and finally back to her lips. The urgency in his kiss surprised him, but he wasn’t able to stop the passion swirling around him anymore than he could stop the stars from shining at night. The desire to be with her was overpowering, something he never experienced but desperately wanted.

  His breathing raspy, he whispered, “Onawa, I need you. You complete me.”

  Then, wanting to learn more of her body, he lowered his head back down to her breasts. She moaned beneath him and squeezed his shoulders. With one hand, he traced the curve of her hip and then further down to the patch of curls between her legs. His body ache
d with need as he brought his fingers to her entrance, his touch barely a whisper against her skin. She gasped and shifted her hips so that two of his fingers dipped into the moist folds of her flesh. Intrigued by her warmth, he inserted them fully into her and was rewarded with a soft cry of pleasure that escaped her lips.

  “You like this?” he whispered, needing to hear her say it, to make sure he understood her right.

  “Yes,” she murmured and shifted her hips again, this time pulling away from his fingers before she took them back fully into her.

  This had to be, without a doubt, the most exciting thing that’d ever happened to him. Pulse racing, he stroked her core, memorizing how she felt as she clenched around him in an effort to bring him deeper into her. As she continued moving her hips in a manner that not only indicated her mounting pleasure but proved to further arouse him, she arched her back. Lowering his head back to her breast, he took her nipple in his mouth and gently sucked on it, aware that her body was moving faster than moments before.

  Intrigued, he continued his ministrations, wondering if it’d lead to something he’d heard discussed when others didn’t realize he was nearby. Not that eavesdropping had been something he intended, but the subject matter piqued his interest so he lingered around. Testing one of the things he’d heard, he brought his thumb to her triangle of curls and sought the sensitive nub that was supposed to bring a woman to the peak of pleasure if rubbed long enough. He fumbled around for a bit, surprised it was so hard to find, but when Owana gave a gasp of pleasure, he knew he’d found it. As he continued to rub her, he took note of her moans and the way she rocked her hips in impatience as she strived for her climax. And suddenly, she stilled and gave a muffled cry of pleasure as her flesh squeezed his fingers. Lifting his head from her breast, he tried to see her more clearly in the dim light, to see what she looked like when she was at the peak of pleasure, but he could only see her silhouette. Perhaps next time he might be with her this way when there was ample light so he could fully enjoy the way she looked.