Wagon Trail Bride Read online

  When he was out of earshot, Richard stood back up. “You’ve had a long night. I’ll get your bed set up tonight.”

  “I’ll do it, Richard. You’ve done too much for me already.”

  “I don’t mind.”

  “But I do. I want to get my own bed ready.” They reached their wagon, and she turned to him. “I don’t deserve any of the things you’ve done for me. I can’t stop feeling like I’ve used you to get out of New York.”

  “You didn’t use me. I asked you to marry me.”

  “Because you were saving me.” She glanced at the ground, the stray curl once again finding its way around her neck. “I’m so sorry, Richard. I wish things could have been different for you.”

  “I don’t.” She shook her head, and he lifted her chin so she’d look at him. “I know ours is a marriage of convenience. No one else has to know that. It’s our secret.” When the familiar expression of guilt crossed her face, he added, “Some secrets are worth protecting. Amanda, it wasn’t your fault.”

  “I know, but I hate the fact your future changed because of it.” She let out a long sigh, and it dawned on him just how tired she was. She’d been carrying the weight of the past around with her for a long time, and though she had trusted him with the truth, she hadn’t been willing to let him help carry it with her.

  “My future changed for the better.” He wrapped her in his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head. “You’re not alone anymore, Amanda. I’m with you every step of the way, for better or worse.”

  “I don’t deserve you.”

  Her voice was so soft he almost didn’t hear her. “Don’t talk like that. I want you here with me.”

  After a long moment passed between them, she pulled away from him and cleared her throat. “Will you be keeping watch with Joe again tonight?”

  “I thought I’d relieve the other men of the duty,” he said, just as he did every night. Then, as was his custom, he added, “Would you like to sleep with my family?”

  “Not tonight. I want to see if I can get through a night by myself. I’ll get your bedroll for you.”

  He nodded and waited for her to do so. It was their routine ever since they left New York. He hadn’t expected it to be any different, really. She hadn’t married him because she loved him. She married him because he offered her protection when she’d needed it most. But that didn’t mean he had to give up his feelings for her. He loved her, and there was nothing that was ever going to change it.

  When she returned to him, she smiled as she handed him the bedroll. “You’re a good man, Richard.”

  Before he could answer, she turned and headed back to the wagon. The scene had played out so much, he was used to it. For some reason, she couldn’t accept the fact that she deserved to be happy. She was trapped under a dark cloud, and no matter what he said or did, she couldn’t seem to break free from it.

  He kept hoping as the miles separated them from New York, things would get easier for her. But they were halfway to Omaha, and she was still in the condition he’d found her that night when he’d heard her crying in the alley, wrapped up in a single, tattered blanket, looking as if she’d given up on life and was ready to die.

  He swallowed the lump in his throat and walked to the spot Joe selected to keep watch for the night. Joe had already set up his bedroll and taken care of his horse.

  At the moment, his hat was resting on the ground next to his gun and holster. He was drinking some coffee. Glancing over at him, he lowered his tin cup. “I’ll take over first watch, unless you’re not ready to sleep.”

  “No, I can go to sleep,” Richard replied as he rolled his bed out. “I prefer to watch in the early morning. I’m surprised you’re not more tired in the evening. You lead us through the day.”

  He shrugged and put his cup down. “I like the night. It’s calming. I especially like to look up at the stars.”

  “I don’t know. Nothing beats a sunrise.”

  Joe chuckled. “We’re complete opposites.”

  “I suppose that’s what makes us a good team.”

  “Probably.”

  Richard settled in his bedroll and put his hands behind his head. He didn’t mind the night. The stars were nice. But the stars couldn’t rival the colors at dawn.

  Joe glanced over at him. “What do you do?”

  Richard turned his gaze to Joe. “Pardon?”

  “For a living. It just occurred to me we’ve spent almost every night keeping watch for the others, but we don’t know anything about each other.”

  “That’s probably because I go to sleep as soon as I lay down.”

  “Could be. But since you’re not asleep yet, mind telling me what you do for a living?”

  “I build houses.”

  “You do? I know I’m not an expert on houses or anything, but wouldn’t you have better business back in New York?”

  “I hear the population in Omaha is booming. All those people will need houses.”

  “Sure, if we’re talking sod. There’s not a lot of trees out there.”

  “You can also build houses with brick.”

  “Maybe, but it seems like it’ll be a challenge to get the supplies you need.”

  “President Lincoln signed the Pacific Railroad Act. There’ll be a railroad in Omaha soon.”

  “I hate to break this to you, but Lincoln signed an executive order for the terminal of this railroad to be in Council Bluffs.”

  “That’s not far from Omaha.”

  “It is if you’re relying on supplies to arrive on a certain day and the horses are bringing them in late, especially in bad weather. I’ve worked on the rails for a couple years, and you’d be surprised what bad weather can do.”

  Richard turned his attention back to the stars, not wanting Joe to see the things he’d just pointed out had been doubts he’d had to battle from time to time. There was no easy way for lumber to get to Omaha. At least not yet. And they were still a few years away from reliable transportation reaching there. It was why they had to take the wagons. That, and it allowed his family to take all their belongings with them.

  “If it was me,” Joe began, “I would have stayed in New York. But we all have to choose our own path.” He took another drink then put the cup back down. “Have a good sleep.”

  Richard nodded but didn’t answer. He couldn’t decide if he liked Joe or not. Up to now, this was the most they’d ever said to each other at one time, and if Richard had known Joe would find fault with him for going to Omaha, he would have kept his mouth shut. But to be fair, Joe made some valid points, though he didn’t have all the facts. He didn’t realize this was something Amanda needed, and she needed this more than Richard needed to build houses. Sometimes love meant giving up what was important for the sake of the other person. If he had to do something other than build houses, he would.

  After a long moment of taking in their surroundings, Richard was assured everything was calm enough for him to close his eyes. Chances of anyone invading them were slim. These trails had come a long way. In time, Omaha would catch up with New York and have the conveniences he’d left behind. It was just a matter of being patient. And Richard happened to be patient.

  Chapter Three

  “How does Jesse Palmer put up with it?” Laura asked.

  As much as Amanda didn’t want to look in the direction Laura motioned to, she couldn’t help but notice his mother-in-law who was yelling at him for not milking the cow sooner.

  Daylight was still breaking over the horizon and most of the people had already eaten breakfast. The wagons would head out soon, and they’d continue the long day’s journey. One would think Mrs. Shaw would have better things to do than to pick on poor Jesse, but she was hovering over him while he pulled the udders to get milk into the bucket.

  “You should have done this as soon as you got up,” she told him. “If you had, we could have had fresh milk. Now all we’ll have is butter.”

  “That’s enough, Ma,” Jesse’
s pregnant wife, Elsie, said, pulling her mother away from Jesse. “I had a difficult night, and he was rubbing my back to help me. It’s not his fault he overslept.”

  “Yes, it is,” Mrs. Shaw replied, her voice rising, arousing the attention of a couple more people who had, up to now, been oblivious to the brewing argument. “He should have waited until your baby was born before dragging you all the way out to the middle of nowhere.”

  “Stop it,” Elsie hissed. “He asked if I would come, and I said yes. The choice was just as much mine as it was his.” She rubbed her large belly. “You should be glad he agreed to take you along with all the trouble you give him.”

  Elsie glanced at Amanda and Laura, and Amanda’s face warmed as she and Laura quickly looked away. Amanda hurried back to her own wagon, and Laura followed.

  “I would hate to have a mother-in-law like Mrs. Shaw,” Laura said. “The woman does nothing but complain.”

  “Then be glad you’re not Jesse,” Amanda replied, hoping that would be the end of it.

  But Laura kept talking. “Elsie isn’t any happier with her than he is. I don’t know how I’d handle it if Mrs. Shaw was my ma. I sometimes wonder if Mrs. Shaw loved her husband at all, or if he even loved her. I don’t think I could love a woman like that. She would get on my nerves.”

  Amanda sighed and turned to face her when she realized Laura wasn’t going to go away. “Just be glad you have parents who love you and take care of you,” she told Laura. “Whatever is going on with the Palmers is none of our business.”

  “It’s hard not to notice things when you’re traveling in such close company.”

  Amanda frowned. Did that mean Laura picked up on some things about her that Amanda didn’t want her to know? No. That was silly. Amanda and Richard had been careful to keep everything a secret. There was no way Laura could know the truth. She relaxed. There was nothing to worry about.

  “I have to get back to Richard,” Amanda finally said then walked away before Laura could stop her.

  ***

  The next couple of days were just as tedious and long as the others had been, but Amanda didn’t mind. It helped numb the pain. Every mile that separated her from New York was one more mile to a new life, something she’d desperately needed. If only there was no reminder of that life, then she’d have no worries at all.

  But there were some things a person could never escape, no matter how far they ran. If it weren’t for Richard, she didn’t know what she would have done. He was the only thing holding her together so she wouldn’t fall apart, and she was grateful for him and the deep friendship they shared.

  These thoughts wove through her mind whenever she let them. As much as she tried not to think of New York at all, the memories did slip in from time to time. The long days on the trail made it easy for a mind to wander.

  But one of the days, she got a much needed reprieve. Dark clouds gathered in the sky, and by two, it was apparent they weren’t going to be able to go any further for the rest of the day.

  “Everyone set up camp,” Joe called out to the group. “Form a circle with the wagons, and make sure all the animals are inside it. The winds have started picking up, so be sure to secure everything as well as you can.” His gaze settled on her, though he directed the rest of his words to everyone. “If you need any help, let me know.”

  Amanda forced her gaze off of him and went over to Richard. “What can I do?” she asked him.

  “Since we’re in for a storm, we’ll need to be inside the wagon,” he told her as he unhitched an ox. “Would you mind if we brought a couple of my brothers or sisters into ours since we have more room than my parents do?”

  She shook her head. “No, I don’t mind. I’ll ask them to join us.”

  She left him, making sure not to look over at Joe as she passed him. When she made it to the Larsons’ wagon, Sally was yelling at her younger brothers to stop goofing around.

  “We have to get ready for a storm,” she told them as Joel threw a clump of dirt at Tom’s head. “We don’t have time for this.”

  “Tom started it,” seven-year-old Joel replied.

  “I did not!” Tom shoved Joel.

  Sally groaned. “Tom, you’re fifteen. Why can’t you act like it?”

  “He’s always picking on me,” Tom replied.

  She groaned. “So what? Be the older brother and ignore it. He only bothers you because he knows it works.”

  “I have an idea,” Amanda spoke up, getting their attention. “Why don’t Richard and I take Joel? We could also fit Dave and Jenny in our wagon.”

  “Thank you,” Sally said, “especially for taking Joel. I’ll tell David and Jenny to go to your wagon.”

  Amanda nodded and gestured for Joel to go with her. She thought he might protest, but he didn’t. Instead, he turned to Tom and said, “Finally, I don’t have to be around you and your stench.”

  “I don’t stink!” Tom yelled.

  “You do, too. Why do you think Ma keeps telling you to walk away from the wagon?” Joel retorted.

  “Come on,” Amanda said. “The storm will be here soon, and we need to help Richard get ready.”

  Joel stuck his tongue out at Tom then ran off before Tom could go after him.

  “Little brothers are the worst,” Tom muttered.

  Amanda secretly envied the Larsons. Yes, Richard’s family was large, and at times, the brother and sisters argued, but overall, they were happy.

  She waited for Jenny and Dave to come over to her before she headed back for Richard’s wagon. The two made guesses on how bad the storm would get, and in the next minute, they ran on ahead. It was her fault, she knew, that she wasn’t really a part of Richard’s family. Yes, she’d married into it, but she hadn’t given herself completely over to them.

  So much was holding her back. As much as she wanted to let go of the past and embrace the new life Richard had given her, she couldn’t seem to do it, not when she was about to disappoint them.

  By the time she made it to the wagon, Jenny and Dave had caught up to Joel. They helped Richard finish getting things secure before the storm hit. The process went smoothly, all things considered with the wind. And soon, Richard had found a spot for his sister and brothers in the wagon to sit.

  After they were settled in, he held his hand out to her. “I’ll help you in. It’s not easy getting in there with all the things you got to get on top of, and it’s likely to be uncomfortable with all those lumps we’ll be sitting on. I suspect it’ll be a lot like sitting on a camel.”

  Amanda chuckled at his joke. She’d forgotten how much he used to make her laugh. He would spend many lunch hours telling her funny stories, usually things he’d seen or read about that day.

  A gust of wind blew up and swirled around them, and she had to brush aside the strands of her hair that came out of her bun. The storm was coming quickly. They didn’t have any more time to waste. She took his hand and let him help her into the wagon.

  ***

  Lightning flickered across the sky, followed by a loud boom of thunder. Amanda scooted closer to Richard, and he put his arm around her shoulders in an effort to calm her fears. It was nice to offer her some protection, even if he was limited in the fact that there wasn’t much he could do in a crowded wagon.

  “I hope Tom’s not crying like a girl,” Joel said. “He’ll only embarrass himself.”

  “Why do you care what Tom does?” Jenny asked.

  “I’m his brother. I’m supposed to care,” he replied, his eyes wide as if he couldn’t believe she even had to ask the question.

  “No one believes you, Joel,” Dave said. “You’re hoping he’s crying, but he isn’t. He’s fifteen, not a baby like you.”

  Richard couldn’t believe what he was hearing from his twelve-year-old brother. “Since when did you get mean?” he asked Dave who had, up to now, made it a point to be nice to everyone.

  “I’m tired of Joel,” Dave said. “All he ever does is nitpick on every little thing Tom d
oes.”

  “Tom makes it so easy,” Joel replied.

  “You do, too.” Dave scowled at him. “I saw you scratching your behind yesterday, and I could have said something but I didn’t.”

  “Pa says if you have an itch, scratch it.”

  “Not in front of everyone. It’s disgusting. Not to mention all the belching and farting you do. Tom should be making fun of you, but he doesn’t because he’s too much of a gentleman.”

  Ten-year-old Jenny gagged. “He’s right, Joel. It is disgusting. No one wants to smell what you ate or guess what you’re saying while you burp.”

  “That’s enough,” Richard told them. “I don’t want to hear this any more than Amanda does.”

  Sometimes it was embarrassing to have his younger siblings around. He could only imagine how repulsed Amanda was. He’d like to say it was the long journey West making them talk about things like belching and farting, but the sad truth was, this happened all the time. It was why he was glad to move into his own apartment.

  “None of you are any fun,” Joel said.

  “We are fun,” Dave argued. “We just don’t think your way of having fun is good for the rest of us.”

  “I like it better when you don’t talk.”

  “Dave has a right to speak,” Jenny said.

  “Not if he says something I don’t like,” Joel replied.

  “Would it help if I belched it instead?” Dave asked.

  Jenny groaned and put her hands over her ears. “I hope I never have boys.”

  “Enough already,” Richard interrupted before Joel could further annoy her. For a seven-year-old, Joel was sure persistent. “If you can’t behave, you can go outside and stand in the rain.”

  “Ma wouldn’t like that,” Joel said.

  “Well, it’s my wagon, my rules.” Richard stared at Joel, willing the runt to test him, but Joel only rolled his eyes and quieted down. Good. Maybe now they could have some peace and quiet, or at least as much as they could with the thunder booming around them. He looked over at Amanda and whispered, “I’m sorry you had to listen to all that.”