Taming The Viscountess Page 18

  Celia ended up going to the park. She didn’t often take a stroll. If she did, it was mostly because Lady Eloise wanted everyone in the group to make an appearance in order to be envied by others who would see them in their expensive gowns. At other times, she’d come here because Loretta or Damara wanted it.

  As she walked down the familiar path between the trees, she noticed the other people who were there. Most of them were ladies. A few had their children with them, but the majority were talking to a friend or two. She didn’t know if it was her imagination, but it seemed to her some of them glanced her way and then giggled in a way that indicated they had nothing but contempt for her. Maybe it had been a mistake to come here. Maybe she should have gone home. At least there, she could retreat to her bedchamber.

  Halfway through the park, she found a reclusive spot under a tree and plopped down on the bench. For the moment, she had some privacy. She turned away from the others and stared at a row of trees not too far from her.

  What good was starting a group to rival Lady Eloise’s? No one would be interested in joining. No one liked her. Of all the people in London, there was probably not a single soul as detested as much as her.

  “Celia?” came a familiar voice from behind her.

  Celia turned around and saw Damara with Lady Steinbeck.

  “I’m surprised to see you here by yourself,” Damara said.

  Celia shrugged. “Apparently, no one wants to be seen with me unless I can make them look good because I’m such a horrible person.”

  Damara whispered something to Lady Steinbeck, and Lady Steinbeck continued on down the path by herself. Damara, on the other hand, decided to sit on the bench next to Celia.

  “What prompted you to say that?” Damara asked.

  Celia sighed. “It’s not going to work. You’re nice to everyone, even when they don’t deserve it.” Then, as an afterthought, she added, “Also, you’re my sister-in-law. You have to talk to me.”

  “I’m not talking to you because I have to.”

  “But you don’t like me.”

  “That’s not true. I do like you.” When Celia rolled her eyes, Damara smiled. “I know things weren’t ideal between us at first, but since then, we’ve become friends.”

  “I haven’t given you any reason to be my friend. I didn’t want you to be with my brother when I first met you. I was trying to find out your secret so he’d turn against you.”

  “You’ve apologized for that.”

  “Well, after seeing how your parents were, I realized you needed my brother.”

  “And you have been supportive of our marriage ever since.”

  Celia shrugged. “All I’ve done is stopped meddling in it.”

  “You’ve done more than that. You are excited about your future niece or nephew.”

  “That’s because I want to be an aunt. I want a child I can spoil and love. I’m only thinking of myself.”

  “You want to lavish my child with your affection. That means my child will be loved by his aunt. That’s not being selfish.” After a moment of silence, Damara asked, “What started all of this?”

  Since Damara seemed genuinely interested in knowing what was bothering her, Celia figured she’d tell her, but she wasn’t going to tell her everything. It hurt too much to remember that Miss Wilmington and Lady Eloise thought Loretta was “boring” and Sebastian was a “useless cripple”. But she could talk about herself.

  “Well, for one, Corin never wanted to marry me,” Celia said. “I don’t know how I misunderstood his intentions as poorly as I did, but you and everyone else were right. He was never interested in me.”

  “We often see what we want when we desire something badly enough.”

  “Oh, that’s not even half of it. As it turns out, none of the gentlemen in London wanted to marry me. Sebastian only did so because of the dowry. If it hadn’t been for my brother offering so much, he wouldn’t have married me. But that’s not all. Today, I found out others don’t like me, either. The servants detest me, and so do the ladies in Ladies of Grace.” Cheeks warm, she admitted, “The only reason Lady Eloise let me into the group is because I’m such a shrew that I make her look wonderful.”

  “You’re nicer than Lady Eloise. She mandates who people can or can’t talk to. You never do that.”

  “Lady Eloise was more than willing to bend the rules for you. She wanted you in her group more than she’s ever wanted anyone.” Celia paused then added, “I think it’s because you’re nice. You never say anything bad about anyone. Even after all the things your parents did to you, you never once said anything bad about them. You’re probably the nicest person I’ve ever met.”

  “I don’t like to think about my parents. That’s why I never mention them. I choose to focus on things that are good in my life. Celia, I know you had wished Loretta had married your brother, but every day I wake up thankful that he came into my life. I think it’s that thankfulness that keeps me from being bitter. If I had been stuck with my parents or the gentleman they had arranged for me to marry, I don’t know if I would be as kind as you say I am.”

  “After seeing what your parents were like, I’m thankful my brother married you, too. And really, it was for the best. Loretta’s happier with her husband than she ever was with my brother. So it worked out far better than I would have planned had it been up to me. Also, I am glad you’re my sister-in-law. I honestly do think of you as a friend.”

  Damara smiled. “You’re my friend, Celia. Loretta is your friend, too. Instead of worrying about who doesn’t like you, maybe you should focus on those who do.”

  Yes, Celia supposed Damara was right. Still, there was more to it than that. It wasn’t simply a matter of thinking about those who liked her—as few as those people were. It was also a matter of being a better person. As much as Celia hated to admit it, she suddenly understood how she seemed to most people. She had thought she was superior to others because she had taken measures to be better educated on fashion and etiquette than them. Her opinion of herself had gotten even worse after she’d joined Ladies of Grace. Maybe she’d been as unpleasant to everyone as Miss Wilmington had been to her today. In which case, it made perfect sense that people didn’t like her.

  “If you want to create a group that can compete with Ladies of Grace,” Damara began, “I think you should make a group that is the opposite of hers. Contrary to what you think, not everyone wants to join her group.”

  “I know. You don’t want to join it.”

  “There are others who don’t want to join it, either. I might keep my thoughts to myself, but I pay attention when others talk. Lady Eloise isn’t as influential as she wants to believe. Lady Cadwalader is not in any danger of losing her reputation with the Ton.”

  Surprised by this, Celia’s eyes widened. “Really?”

  “I’m not at liberty to say any more than that. I just want you to know London doesn’t need another Ladies of Grace.” After a moment, she asked, “Do you feel better?”

  “I don’t know. It’s just now occurring to me that I deserve the way people think of me. It’s not a very nice realization.”

  “While you’re alive, it’s never too late to change things.”

  Maybe Damara was right. Maybe things weren’t as hopeless as they seemed.

  “I need to get back to Iris,” Damara said. “Just remember that some of us do care about you.” She squeezed Celia’s hand in silent encouragement and then left the bench to go to Lady Steinbeck.

  Celia watched as the two ladies continued down the path. It was no wonder everyone adored Damara. She took the time to care about people. She didn’t look at people’s social status or how they dressed. She saw who they were. So maybe Lady Eloise had wanted Damara in the group to make the group attractive to ladies who weren’t all that impressed with the elitism in London. Maybe Damara would have made her group look more compassionate.

  Celia rose from the bench, feeling a lot better. As Damara had pointed out, she wasn’t dead
yet. That meant she had time to change. And the best place to start would be with Loretta’s husband.

  The last time she’d spoken to him, she hadn’t been very nice to him. She had blamed him for the fact that Corin came over to her townhouse and told her that he didn’t want to marry her. Now she knew it hadn’t been his fault. Loretta’s husband had encouraged Corin to be honest with her, but Corin had done it of his own free will. Loretta’s husband hadn’t made him do it.

  By the time she reached Loretta’s townhouse, she began to wonder if she would do an adequate job of apologizing. Yes, she had apologized to Loretta and Damara in the past, but she’d been close enough to them where it didn’t feel so awkward. She hardly knew the Duke of Lambeth.

  She took a deep breath. Well, there was only one way she was going to overcome her uncertainty about the whole thing. She was just going to have to do it. After knocking on the door, she waited for the footman to answer. And as she did so, she realized the duke might not even be there. He might be at White’s or meeting other gentlemen for investment opportunities. Maybe she shouldn’t have come here so fast. Maybe she should have sent a missive first. She’d just been so used to seeing Loretta whenever the mood struck her that she didn’t think this through first.

  As it turned out, however, the Duke of Lambeth happened to be there. The footman welcomed her to the drawing room, and the butler brought in the tea and crumpets. She wasn’t sure she wanted to drink or eat anything. If things didn’t go well with Loretta’s husband, then she’d want to go home right away. She’d already had enough unpleasantness with Miss Wilmington. She didn’t need to deal with any more.

  She heard someone coming, and, assuming it was the duke, she braced herself for what was to come. But instead of him, Loretta came into the room.

  On impulse, Celia ran over and hugged her. “I think you’re the most caring, most interesting, and most wonderful lady in all of London.”

  “I think the same about you,” Loretta said. “It’s why we’re the best of friends.”

  “We are, and nothing will ever change that.”

  Celia released Loretta and dabbed a few tears from her eyes. She hadn’t expected her gratitude of having someone like Loretta in her life to be so overwhelming. But it was nice to know that no matter what happened, Loretta would always be supportive of her.

  “Is everything all right?” Loretta asked in concern.

  Celia almost said yes, that everything was fine, but Loretta would see through the lie. She still didn’t want to tell Loretta the horrible things Lady Eloise thought about her. She didn’t think she’d ever repeat those words to another human being for as long as she lived. What the group thought of Loretta and Sebastian would have to go to the grave with her. There were some things too painful to repeat.

  So Celia opted to say, “I just saw Miss Wilmington, and I decided that I don’t want to be like her or Lady Eloise anymore. I never realized how unpleasant they are.” She took a deep breath. “How unpleasant I was.” It was harder to say that than she thought it’d be, but it was also necessary if she was ever going to be the kind of person who was no longer labeled a shrew. “I want to be more like you and Damara. So I’m here to apologize to your husband for the way I talked to him the last time we spoke.”

  “Tad knows you didn’t like hearing what he had to say. He doesn’t hold any ill will against you.”

  “I still need to make it right.”

  Loretta smiled. “He’ll like that.”

  “He’ll like what?” came another voice.

  Celia and Loretta turned to the duke as he walked over to them.

  “Celia has something she wants to tell you,” Loretta said. She turned her gaze to Celia and smiled in encouragement.

  Celia cleared her throat. This was more awkward than she had expected. Just how did someone go about apologizing to someone she hardly knew? “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you when you tried to warn me about Lord Durrant. It turns out you were right. He didn’t want to marry me.” Then, as an afterthought, she added, “I’m also sorry for the way I spoke to you.” If she was going to do it, she might as well state everything she’d done wrong. Not just give out part of it.

  His expression softened, and he smiled. “I never held that against you. When we are determined to get something badly enough, it can be difficult to hear the truth. But since you look so worried, I want you to know that I accept your apology.”

  Celia’s eyebrows furrowed. She looked worried that he wouldn’t forgive her?

  Loretta put her arm around her shoulders. “I told you that you had nothing to worry about.”

  Celia glanced from Loretta to Tad. That was it? It was that simple to apologize? She didn’t have to listen to someone give her a list of reasons why she was a horrible person? She didn’t have to do anything to earn the forgiveness? She didn’t have to wait and see if she could be forgiven?

  Well, if she’d known it was going to be that easy, she wouldn’t have been so worried. And better yet, she felt lighter. It felt as if a burden had been lifted from her shoulders. She should apologize more often.

  “Do you want to stay for a while and have some tea?” Loretta offered, gesturing to the tea set.

  “I would,” Celia replied. “I’d like to talk about our group. Maybe we shouldn’t make it like Lady Eloise’s. Maybe we should do things differently. Maybe we should even come up with a name other than Ladies of Influence.”

  “I never cared much for some of the things Lady Eloise did, so I think that’s a splendid idea.”

  “I don’t think I’m needed for this part,” Tad said with a wink. “I’ll leave you both to your plans.”

  On his way out the door, Celia decided to call out a quick, “Thank you.”

  He offered her a nod then left the room.

  Loretta led Celia to the settee and poured tea into their cups. “Did you have any specific things in mind for our group?”

  With a nod, Celia began telling her some ideas she had.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Sebastian was surprised when he arrived home and Celia wasn’t there. She had left before him, and since she’d mentioned only going to visit Miss Wilmington for a half hour, he didn’t expect her to linger at the lady’s residence so long.

  He was anxious to show her the peg leg. She’d been excited about it. After he showed it to her, however, he would have to tell her about the invitation he had extended to her brother.

  He hadn’t consulted her before making it. He’d done it on a whim. Truthfully, he didn’t even know what had prompted him to do it except that it seemed like the right thing to do. They were brother and sister, after all, and it would be nice if they could get along again. This dinner might, or might not, yield the results he was hoping for, but the least he could do was get them together so they would talk. Whatever they decided to do with the opportunity was up to them.

  With nothing to do, he ended up going to the drawing room, reclining in the chair, and reading a book. Most of his books had something to do with the sea, and this one was no different. Instead of the heavy heart he’d felt lately while reading them, he found he was enjoying it again. Soon, perhaps before the year was up, he would be on a ship.

  He had gotten two chapters read by the time Celia came into the room, closing the doors behind her. He marked his place in the book then shut it. But before he could reach for his cane to help him stand up, she motioned for him to stay seated.

  To his surprise, she sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Sebastian, if I ask you a question, will tell me the truth?”

  While he was delighted she was being so affectionate, he wasn’t sure this conversation was going to go in the way that would make her happy. “What is this about?”

  “I just want to know if you really like me. Did you mean it when you said you were my friend?”

  He actually thought of her as far more than a friend, but he wasn’t sure if she felt the same. He p
robably shouldn’t let something as silly as her not returning his feelings stop him from telling her just how deeply his feelings went for her. In all of his life, he couldn’t recall a time when he’d ever been timid about anything. He certainly hadn’t been afraid of telling anyone what he thought while he was at sea.

  But she wasn’t one of his crewmen, nor was she one of the gentlemen at White’s that he had to contend with. She was his wife. She was someone who completed him. She was everything he had ever wanted in a lady and more. He hadn’t thought anyone could match his passion and spirit, but she did. They shared mutual interests. Of all the people he’d ever come across, she was someone he could bare his soul to. Well, everything but this. If he was honest with her about this, that might require her to be honest with him. The last thing he wanted to hear was that she was still pining for Lord Durrant.

  “I meant what I said,” he finally settled on telling her. “I like everything about you. A gentlemen couldn’t ask for a better wife.”

  She smiled. “I’m glad you said that. I don’t want you to think of me the way other people do.”

  “The way other people do?”

  “Yes. Everyone except for you, Loretta, and Damara. Everyone else thinks I’m a shrew.”

  “I didn’t think it bothered you if people liked you or not. You didn’t seem to be concerned about it when I told you about the wager.”

  “That was before I realized everyone in London thinks I’m awful. But to be fair, I deserve my reputation.”

  “I don’t know. I find you easy to be married to.”

  “Do you really?”

  He chuckled. She seemed so worried that he was going to say no, but she had nothing to worry about. “You’re a strong lady who knows what she wants and goes after it. Most people in London spend their entire lives doing what others tell them they should do instead of doing what they want. If you ask me, a lot of them are miserable because of it.”