Loving Eliza Read online

  He slid his arm around her waist and led her to the stream where he washed her hands. She hadn’t realized how large his hands were until she saw how small hers were compared to them. His movements were slow and deliberate, gentle and caring. She had no doubt that, unlike the other men she’d been with, this man would cherish her. She wanted to be cherished.

  Resting her head against his shoulder, she whispered, “Thank you.”

  After he washed her hands, he took her to the restaurant and listened while she told him in quiet tones everything that had happened to her. He joined her in eating and encouraged her to eat anything on the menu. It felt good to be able to do that...and to be full. She’d forgotten how nice it was to be full.

  Then he took her to the preacher’s house and married her before they went to Molly’s boarding house and collected her things. And after that, he took her home.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Eliza didn’t say much that night, nor did she feel the need to. Mrs. John Evans. The name was so new to her, and she rolled it over in her mind as she recalled the vows she and John exchanged at the preacher’s house. She was now a wife. And there was nothing more reputable than a married woman. It was all so wonderful, and she feared she’d wake up back in Omaha or at Molly’s boarding house and find out this was all a dream. But it wasn’t. John was here with her in bed, holding her close to his side and smiling at her. She smiled back and stared at the ring on her finger. She never imagined something so small could be so profound.

  His hand traced her breast and the curve of her hip. He took his time touching her, as if he wished to memorize every part of her body. Now that they’d consummated the marriage, his movements weren’t anxious. She’d watched him as he made love to her, and not because she was interested in how he looked during the act but because she wanted to know it was John who was doing this with her. She wanted to fully enjoy the fact that a man who loved her was with her in bed.

  It was all so new yet. This concept that someone could actually love and cherish her, even after knowing about the dark shadows in her past. But here she was with John. She no longer felt alone in the world. Now she had a place to belong, a place she could take comfort in. A place that was truly home.

  John leaned forward and kissed her shoulder.

  She reached up and brushed the hair out of his eyes and let her fingers run through the silky tresses. She hadn’t done such a thing before, and the action was so gentle she marveled that it could seem sensual in nature.

  He lifted his head and kissed her, his lips soft on hers. She settled against him, taking in the way he felt strong and solid next to her. Lowering her hand, she lightly played with the thick hair on his chest. His body was warm, and she snuggled closer against him when the wind drifting in through the window made her shiver. He wrapped his arms around her and the shivering died down, and in its place, she began to feel the stirrings of desire.

  Long ago, she’d learn to pretend to be enthusiastic in bed. It was all a show. There were some men she did feel sympathy for, and they needed comfort more than anything else. She was soft and slow with them. Other men wanted it rough, and she’d learned to play along with that too. But with John, it was hard to know what to do. The problem wasn’t so much that John didn’t take a lead. He was gentle despite his passionate movements, but what kind of woman did he want her to be when they were in bed?

  She didn’t dare ask him. It didn’t seem like the thing a wife—a lady—would discuss. Whores had no trouble asking men what their preferences were. It came with the job. But a wife didn’t do this for a living. She did it because she wanted to. But how did wives act in the bedroom? She had one consolation in her confusion. John hadn’t been married before, so he couldn’t compare her to another wife and find her lacking. That was good. And it made her feel safe. If she failed to act correctly, how would he know? She decided that she would just have to be what she finally was—a lady. She’d been given a second chance in life, and she wasn’t about to ruin it, especially when John knew her past and still wanted to be with her.

  She wanted to please him, to be the wife he wanted her to be. And so she let him dictate how things would evolve between them. When he parted his lips, she parted hers. He seemed to especially enjoy brushing his tongue against hers for his hold tightened on her hip. She liked it too but kept in mind to not be obvious about it. It didn’t strike her that proper women were explicit in the bedroom. At least, that was never the impression she got when listening to men talk while they gambled in the saloon.

  John rolled on top of her, and once again, she opened her eyes so she could remind herself that she was with him instead of a nameless face. When he entered her, she involuntarily closed her eyes and bit her tongue so she wouldn’t moan. It felt good. She hadn’t expected it to. It wasn’t that she hated this activity, but having to do it all the time made her numb to it. She didn’t know if it was because it’d been awhile since she’d done this or because she was with someone she loved who loved her, but her body responded easily to him. She couldn’t avoid the pleasure it brought, nor did she want to. She just didn’t want it to be as insistent as it was, and to her dismay, it was even more arousing this time than the last time they’d done it. It was like someone set a spark and it was gradually being fanned into a flame.

  She ran her legs down his, finding the action more stimulating that she supposed it should be. His movements which had been hurried before due to the novelty of it all had now settled enough so he was taking his time as if he were savoring every moment they were together like this. She inhaled and tightened her hold on his arms, aware of the ache that was getting stronger between her legs. Her breathing grew fast and her body went from a comfortable warm to a burning heat. Maybe if she watched him again, she could keep her uncomfortable desires at bay. Forcing her eyes open, she studied him in the moonlight, trying to concentrate on the way his hair fell over his forehead.

  Then he opened his eyes. The action startled her, and when he smiled and kissed her, she couldn’t think of how to respond. No man had ever looked at her and smiled during the act before, and she knew why. It seemed much more intimate than connecting their bodies together. It was as if she and John had just connected on an emotional and spiritual level. She didn’t understand it, and part of it scared her so she quickly shut her eyes. His mouth left hers and he resumed his thrusting, now becoming more insistent. A groan escaped her lips and she immediately hoped he hadn’t noticed.

  A lady. She was a lady now. Ladies were dignified at all times. They didn’t get rowdy in public..or anywhere else. They were controlled at all times. She gritted her teeth, fighting her body for control over the sensations coursing through her. When he gasped and stiffened, she breathed a sigh of relief. There. It was over. She managed through it, and she was still a lady. She held him as his body relaxed. Again, she ran her fingers through his hair. He kissed the side of her neck and drew her in for a long hug.

  She smiled. “I love you too,” she whispered and rested against him.

  ***

  The next afternoon, John joined Eliza outside. She’d wanted to enjoy the nice breezy day, so he found an old blanket and spread it out on the grass by the house where she set out a basket filled with sandwiches, apples, and bread and cheese. He thought it was funny that she wanted to eat outside when the kitchen was a few yards away, but she peered up at him with those sweet eyes so he agreed. He watched her as she fussed over their lunch and smiled. She’d let her hair fall down in gentle waves over her shoulders which he particularly liked. She wore a hat to protect her fair skin from the sun and had on a purple dress. If it’d been up to him, she wouldn’t wear anything at all, but she laughed when he wrote that suggestion down.

  “John, if someone comes to see you, it wouldn’t be good for me to be immodest.”

  He didn’t think that would happen, but he realized it was a small possibility so he dressed as well. And now as she placed the food out on the blanket, he decided he’d s
urprise her. He collected a handful of yellow flowers and put them in a vase he’d made while she was gone. He hid the vase behind his back and approached her.

  She glanced up at him. “Isn’t this pretty? I can’t think of anything to add. Can you?”

  He sat next to her and showed her the vase.

  She gasped when she saw it and held her hands out to receive it. “You made this vase?”

  He smiled and nodded. He pointed to the engraved lettering that spelled out her name. When he made the vase, he didn’t know if she’d ever see it or not. But here she was, and she was finally with him for good. He edged closer to her, enjoying the way their arms touched.

  “It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever made me,” she said, tracing the floral design with her thumb. “There’s a lot of detail in it too.” She brought the flowers up her nose and inhaled. “There isn’t anything that smells as fresh and lovely as flowers, especially these.”

  He brushed the hair off her shoulder and kissed her neck. Who cared about the way flowers smelled? He rather preferred the way she smelled.

  She giggled. “John, that tickles.”

  He loved the way she wiggled against him.

  “We need to eat before the food spoils. Then we can return to the house and undress.”

  That sounded good to him. He kissed her cheek and settled back beside her.

  She set the vase in the middle of the blanket. “Shouldn’t you sit across from me?”

  He shook his head and kissed her on the lips, thoroughly enjoying this activity that he’d only recently discovered. In fact, he enjoyed anything as long as he could be close to her. It really didn’t matter what they were doing, though he had to admit the bedroom had a greater appeal to it. He hoped that’s what she meant when she spoke of undressing.

  Laughing, she handed him his plate of food. “Eat up. You’ll need your energy.” Then she gave him a quick kiss. “There will be more later.”

  He took that as a yes, so he took the plate and started eating.

  She sighed even as she grinned at him. “You don’t need to rush. It’s really a wonderful day, don’t you agree?”

  He slowed down and nodded. She was right. It was a nice day.

  “You should move your work bench and the things you’re working on back into the little house I had been staying in, before I left.” She took a slice of cheese and put it on her bread. “I don’t need to be there anymore, and there’s a lot more space there than in that cramped shed.”

  In all the excitement of having her back, he’d forgotten about that. He’d need to finish up with the rocking chair he’d started for Addy. He decided he’d take Eliza into town with him when he dropped it off. Since Eliza and Addy were friends, they might enjoy getting the chance to talk.

  Eliza swallowed her food and glanced up at the sky. “When I was a little girl, I’d close my eyes and pretend I could fly. A lot of the time, I was jealous of the birds. They seemed to be free and happy. They were always singing, so they had to be happy. Don’t you think so?”

  He smiled and picked up an apple as she continued talking as if she’d never asked the question. The horrible silence was officially gone. What a relief.

  A horse neighed and his gaze turned in the direction of the sound. He finished biting into the apple and resisted the urge to toss Aaron off his property. Why did his brother have to come and bother him when he was trying to enjoy the day with his bride?

  Eliza quickly set down the remaining slice of bread and cheese and drank some water before she jumped up.

  John didn’t see any other option but to follow her lead. Just as he stood up, Aaron tied his horse to the post and lumbered forward.

  “I guess congratulations are in order,” Aaron called out, taking his hat off and wiping the sweat from his brow.

  “Then you heard?” Eliza asked.

  “Everyone’s heard. It’s a small town.” He turned to the leather pouch attached to the saddle. “Though I must say that no one expected it.”

  John wasn’t sure what to make of that statement, so he put his arm around Eliza’s shoulders and pulled her close to him.

  Aaron glanced their way and grinned. “You two sure know how to surprise people.”

  John relaxed. At least Aaron wasn’t going to give them a hard time.

  “Here it is.” His brother pulled out a silver picture frame. “Ma had set these all aside to give to each of her sons when they married, and as the oldest, it’s my responsibility to hand them out when the time is right.” He looked at Eliza. “Our ma loved pictures, even if we only had two in the house.”

  She took the frame and held it as if it was going to break. “This is lovely,” she whispered.

  “Now you two got to get your picture taken. It was one of her dying wishes. And just so you don’t think you’re off the hook, there’s a photographer coming to town in a month. So you have no excuse to get out of it.”

  John liked that idea. He wanted a picture of Eliza, and this would suit just fine.

  “How exciting!” Eliza cheered. “Isn’t this a wonderful gift, John?”

  He nodded and squeezed her shoulders.

  “I don’t know a woman who doesn’t like pictures,” Aaron told John, chuckling.

  “I’m going to take this into the house. I’ll put it next to the vase.” She looked at Aaron. “John made me a wonderful vase. He really has an eye for detail. I’ll be back soon.” Then she darted off to the blanket, picked up the vase, and ran into the house.

  John found her enthusiasm infectious. Yes, it was definitely good to have her back.

  Aaron cleared his throat.

  He turned his attention back to him.

  “I’m not sure how to tell you this.” He paused.

  John’s good mood dimmed and he frowned in response.

  “Troy’s not happy. I don’t know if you’re aware that he was courting her.”

  John shook his head and waved his hand. Just because Eliza went to one dinner engagement with him, it didn’t mean they were courting. Besides, she went to get food, not to be with him. She’d told him about it, and she included how ashamed she’d been to use Troy like that. But it was all water under the bridge now.

  “You know Troy,” Aaron continued, his tone serious. “He’s not one to take this kind of thing sitting down, especially when it comes to you...and the way he thinks about you.”

  John knew all too well exactly how Troy thought of him, and it gave him all the more reason to ignore his least favorite brother.

  “Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  John grabbed Aaron’s arm as the man turned to get back on his horse. He pointed at Aaron’s chest.

  “Me? You want to know what I think of your marriage?”

  John nodded. Not that Aaron’s opinion would change the situation, but it would be nice to get his oldest brother’s blessing.

  Aaron smiled. “I’m happy for you both. It’s about time you got a good woman to keep you out of trouble.”

  He laughed and John also chuckled, noting the joke for what it was. The only time John had gotten into trouble while growing up was when he was seven and decided to cut Shawn’s hair.

  Aaron hopped on the horse. “Enjoy the honeymoon.” Then he waved and left.

  John sauntered back to the blanket and sat down just as Eliza came out of the house.

  “He’s gone? Already? I didn’t even have a chance to offer him something to eat or drink.”

  He motioned for her to come over to him. When she did, he sat her down on his lap and hugged her.

  “Is this what being married to you is going to be like? I can’t even eat without you trying to have your way with me?”

  He wiggled his eyebrows at her and cupped her breast in his hand.

  “Well, that’s not how it’s going to be, Mister. I’m going to eat first. Then we can do other things.” She playfully shoved his hand away and scrambled off his lap.

  He gave her the best wounded look he c
ould muster.

  She laughed and placed the apple in his mouth. “Be a good boy. I promise you’ll get dessert soon enough.”

  Well, he was hungry, so he supposed—just this once—he’d follow her orders.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Eliza had just pulled back the lacy curtains with hunter green ribbons when John came into the parlor. She glanced at him and smiled. “I found these and thought they would make the room look prettier.” She adjusted the lower half of the curtain and noticed the way the breeze ruffled the lace. Scanning the entire room, she added, “I think this room is complete now. What do you think?”

  He nodded.

  She raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t even look.”

  He shook his head.

  Resting a hand on her hip, she grinned. “No. You didn’t really look. All you did was check out the ribbon on the curtains. I wanted you to examine the room.”

  Appearing amused, he made a big show of slowly turning and squinting at everything in his direct vision.

  “You’re humoring me.”

  He peered at her from the corner of his eye and gave a slight shrug.

  She bit back her laughter. “You’re awful. You do know that you’re awful, right?”

  A smile broke out on his face and he lunged at her.

  Shocked, she stepped back and squealed as he pursued her around the room. It wasn’t really a contest. He was much too fast and big for her. He caught up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Then he lifted her in his arms and sat on the rocking chair, making sure she faced him. He straddled her on his lap and began to kiss her neck.

  The action caught her by surprise and so did the overwhelming urge to move her hips. She thought that the sensation would recede if she didn’t give into it, but it only grew stronger, and the more they came together as man and wife, the harder it was to quench the desire burning inside of her.