Loving Eliza Read online

  “Well, if you need anything—anything at all, please let me know.”

  If she did that, she’d have to admit she couldn’t make it on her own, and that was the last thing she wanted to do. Her entire life was spent relying on others. This time she had a chance to make it on her own. In the future, she just wouldn’t let Troy or Willy help her at work, and then she could get the full $5. Then she’d be fine.

  “Eliza,” Addy continued, “John loves you. Why do you keep rejecting him? He’s a good man. He’d make a fine husband and father.”

  She sighed and finished her last roll. Glancing around the room, she caught sight of Alan Gray as he paid for his meal. She nearly fell out of her chair when she saw all the money in his wallet. Why didn’t he own a house? He looked like he could afford it.

  “He’s not going to marry Daphne,” Addy softly stated.

  It took Eliza a moment to realize she was talking about John. “Haven’t the two of them talked so they could get to know each other?”

  “I don’t understand why this means so much to you. Daphne doesn’t mind if you’re with him.”

  Of course, Addy couldn’t understand. What could Eliza do? Say, “I was a prostitute for thirteen years”? Finally, she decided on saying, “It’s complicated.”

  Addy laughed. “Why is it that unmarried women assume that everything is complicated when it comes to love?”

  Why is it that everyone assumes an unmarried woman never stepped foot into a whorehouse? “I better go home. I’m tired.”

  Addy stood with her. “The offer is open anytime you need it. Don’t let pride get in the way of asking for help.”

  Eliza placed the coin on the table and looked at her friend. Did Addy know...or suspect that Eliza did need help or was she just saying that because it was one of those things friends said to each other?

  “The least I can do is walk back with you. The boarding house is on the way to the general store.”

  Eliza nodded. That sounded simple enough.

  After they were outside and Addy glanced around, she whispered, “You’re not sweet on Troy, are you?”

  “Goodness, no!”

  “I’m sorry but I had to ask. He’s been talking as if he’s courting someone. He hasn’t mentioned names but he says it’s a matter of time before he makes it official.”

  Eliza cringed. She didn’t know why Troy gave her the creeps but he did. “I try to avoid him whenever I can. I assure you that I don’t encourage him.”

  “That’s good. There’s no sense in sending the wrong message. Troy is alright I guess. I don’t really know him. The only reason I know John as well as I do is because he does business with Frank. He made the tables and counters and shelves in the general store, you know.”

  “No, I didn’t know.” But it made sense since John was the only one in town who did that kind of thing.

  “John took over his father’s business. His father taught him the trade. None of the other boys were interested.”

  “It’s good someone does this in town.”

  “Yes. Otherwise, we’d be in trouble.” Addy chuckled.

  They stopped in front of the boarding house, and Eliza breathed a sigh of relief. John wasn’t there anymore. “I’ll see you around.”

  Addy smiled. “Remember, I’m here to help...should you need it.”

  “I know. Thank you.” Then she turned and went up the steps, glad to be done with another day.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Eliza’s stomach growled so she closed her eyes as she walked past the restaurant. If I don’t think about food, I won’t be hungry. A week had passed, and she was out of money for food. Harriet refused to pay her more than $3 this time because Harriet accused her of “shoddy work”. “This will teach you a strong work ethic,” Harriet had concluded, looking as if she had just performed a good deed.

  Eliza knew it was wrong but she purposely gave Harriet day old coffee the next day. To her surprise, Harriet liked it. So Eliza didn’t do that again. It was wrong to look for ways to irritate her employer, especially since the only other job that opened up paid $2.50 a week, but a part of her wanted to do something to get even with the woman for cheating her out of her fair wages. Eliza was, after all, doing the best she could.

  When she made it home that evening, she climbed the stairs, feeling weak. She had to pay Molly the rent, but she’d do that in the morning. She was out of money, and since she’d accepted the invitation to eat at Addy’s place three times already, she didn’t feel right about going over there and hoping for another invite. She couldn’t take advantage of her friend who’d already done so much for her.

  She reached the top of the steps and took a deep breath to quell her nausea. Averting her eyes from the staircase because a glance down made her dizzy, she focused on the kerosene lamp on the small table in the hallway. As soon as she could trust herself to not heave, she lumbered toward her room. She’d go to Addy’s tomorrow. She had to. It’d been a full day since she’d eaten anything and she had to manage through another ten hours at Harriet’s.

  A door from behind her opened. She turned and saw Alan emerge from his room. Recalling the money in his wallet, she bit her lower lip. He was a man, and since he hadn’t been with a woman since his wife died... Even as the thought came to her, she hated it. She gulped the lump in her throat. Oh, she couldn’t. Not when she struggled so hard to make her life right. Not when God had given her a second chance.

  But he has money. Money that can buy food. Her stomach growled again and her mouth watered. Molly had made supper. Pot roast from the smell of it.

  “Good evening, Miss Sweet,” Alan said as he closed the door. “Will you be going to supper tonight?”

  She hesitated. She knew what the going rate would be if they struck a deal, and depending on how long she could talk him into staying in her room, she might be able to make a dollar. That would give her a full week’s worth of food here at the boarding house or maybe even two weeks if she was careful at the restaurant.

  She wiped the tears from her eyes, glad the dim light hid her tears from him. When she could trust herself to speak, she lowered her trembling hand. “I...um...” She took another deep breath. “I already ate.”

  “Is something wrong?” he asked, coming closer.

  She steadied herself against the wall. Stay back. You’re the mouse and I’m the snake. She took a step away from him. “No. I’m fine. You should go to supper.” She prayed he didn’t hear her stomach rumble. “I just need to lie down.”

  He came closer to her. “Are you sure you’re not ill? I can help you into your room if you’d like.”

  He had no idea what he was doing, she realized. He didn’t have the experienced look about him, and that made him an easy target.

  Just one time...to get you through one or two weeks until Harriet pays the wages she rightfully owes you.

  “Your room is this one, isn’t it?” he asked, pointing to it.

  “Well...yes,” she slowly replied. Her heart sped up with a mixture of fear and hope. She hated this. She didn’t want to even consider it. Temptation was a terrible monster. A hunger pain shot through her stomach, causing her to bite her tongue.

  He gently took her by the arm and led her to the door. “You look like you’re going to pass out. Lean on me if you have to.”

  “Do you miss your wife?” she asked, ashamed of the question, for she knew where the conversation was leading...what she was leading him into.

  “I do. She was a good woman.”

  “I’m sure she was happy with you. You seem like a good man.” She moved closer to him and placed her hand on his. “It must get lonely.”

  They stopped in front of her door, and he nodded. “It does. A part of me went with her.” He opened the door.

  “I haven’t been married,” she whispered, purposely moving so that they stood inches apart, allowing parts of her body to touch his. She knew what such proximity did to men. Leaning forward, she let her lips brush against
his cheek. “But I often think it’s a shame when a man has to spend his nights alone.”

  As soon as she said the words, she regretted them. This wasn’t right. She pulled back and crossed the threshold of the room, cursing herself for leading him into a trap. It was a trap. God help her withstand temptation! She hurried to the window and opened it, letting a light breeze cool the hot sting of the tears that trickled down her cheeks.

  “Miss Sweet, I was wondering... Well, that is to say that I think we might get along. Would it be too forward if I asked to call on you sometime? I could take you for a walk or we could go to the restaurant.”

  Placing her hands over her face, she allowed the tears to fall with greater freedom. Here she was thinking of a night of sinful pleasure and he was thinking of doing the right thing. He really had no idea what she’d brought him to her room for. “I can’t. I’m sorry. You see, I...” What could she tell him? I’m a prostitute? No. But an idea came to her. Turning to him in the dark, she asked, “Do you know Bethany Grooms?”

  He blinked. “No, but I’ve seen her in church.”

  “She lost her husband five years ago. She’s a lovely woman. I think you two would do well together.” Bethany would never think to lure a man to her bed for the sole purpose of making money from him. She’d make him a good wife, and she was just as lonely as him. The two would get along right away. “Let me introduce you to her tomorrow morning on my way to Mrs. Lube’s.”

  “She is agreeable to look at. Alright.”

  Her stomach growled but she held her hands over her abdomen and took another deep breath. The room seemed to tilt to the side, but she knew it was another wave of dizziness kicking in so she ignored it.

  “Thank you, Miss Sweet. That’s very nice of you.” He turned to leave but saw the book she’d thrown across the room a week ago and picked it up. “Is this Romeo and Juliet?”

  “Yes,” she weakly replied. “It’s a horrible story.”

  He chuckled. “My wife didn’t care much for it either. She said if a book didn’t have a happy ending, then it wasn’t worth reading. I can return this to the parlor, if you’d like.”

  “Please do.”

  “Good night, Miss Sweet. I hope you feel better in the morning.”

  As soon as he left and closed her door, she released her breath, unaware that she’d been holding it. That was close. Much too close. Slipping out of her dress, she slid into bed and pulled the covers over her head. It was still hot out, but she shivered anyway and she couldn’t tell if it was from hunger or fear that she’d almost given into the temptation to sell her body for a piece of bread. She spent the rest of the night crying fitfully in her sleep.

  ***

  During her lunch half hour the next day, Eliza decided to visit with Addy to see if Addy might extend an invitation for supper. She didn’t want to ask. It was preferable to let Addy make the offer. That way, Addy wouldn’t worry about her.

  When Eliza knocked on Addy’s front door, she noticed that Troy was walking in her direction. She inwardly groaned and pretended that she didn’t see him. She knocked on the door, using more force than necessary.

  But Addy didn’t answer, and Eliza had no choice but to offer a polite greeting as Troy caught up to her. “Good afternoon, Mister Evans.”

  He smiled and adjusted his hat. “You can call me Troy. I’d like to think we know each other well enough to be on a first name basis.”

  She didn’t. Not really. Unsure of whether her queasy stomach stemmed from being near him or being unbearably hungry, she took deep breaths to steady it. “What brings you out this way?”

  “I’m running an errand for my boss.”

  She nodded and started walking down the dusty road. As much as she loathed the idea of returning to Harriet’s house, especially when Harriet was eating, Eliza felt a desperate need to get away from Troy. She thought that the strange sensation would leave as she got to know him, but it only grew stronger.

  If there was one thing she wasn’t, it was stupid. She’d had the same eerie feeling with her uncle before he slipped into her bed. She’d brushed off the notion then. Now, she knew better. She wrapped her arms around herself to thwart the trembling of her body. Her uncle had liked her fear. He seemed to thrive off of it. The last thing she wanted was to give Troy that kind of power over her.

  Thank God it was daylight and people were around them. It was the only thing that prevented her from running off in a panic. She willed the past back to where it belonged. Think of positive things, Eliza. Positive things. Don’t let your circumstances control you. Overcome them. As long as she didn’t give up, she’d survive. She’d keep pressing on. She wouldn’t end up like the prostitute who killed herself. The reminder settled her nerves. She was still alive, and that counted for something.

  Troy kept his pace even with hers. “I’m going to Marshal Custer’s house for supper tonight. Would you like to be my guest?”

  She halted in mid-step. Food. Her mouth watered at the very thought of it. If she ate tonight, she’d be able to get through tomorrow without eating. Then she might get an invite to Addy’s place. That would settle her complaining stomach until Harriet paid her for the full wages. Eliza had been good this time. She’d been watching to make sure she did everything exactly the way Harriet wanted it done. For sure, she’d get the $5.

  All she had to do was eat with Troy for one night. And it was in Charity’s home where other people would be. It wouldn’t be like she’d have to be alone with him. Wasn’t it much better than sleeping with Alan for money? Going to dinner with Troy wasn’t a sin. And it would be once. Just once.

  “What time should I be there?” she asked, peering up at him.

  “I’ll pick you up at 6:15. Supper is at 6:30.”

  She nodded. “Alright.”

  His smile widened.

  Shivering, she looked away. She hoped she didn’t just make a mistake. “I should get back to Mrs. Lube. She won’t like it if I’m late.”

  Without waiting for him to walk with her, she bolted down the road, feeling almost like she was running from a part of her past that was about to rear its ugly head. It wasn’t until she opened the door to Mrs. Lube’s house and saw that he hadn’t followed her that she allowed herself to relax.

  ***

  John returned home after he finished repairing the staircase in the Hallows’ house. He checked the small house that Eliza used to inhabit while she stayed on his property, but she wasn’t there. Why should he expect her to be? She wasn’t there any of the other times he’d checked. She didn’t even want to see him. He sighed. Maybe it was time he gave up and let her go.

  As much as the thought pained him, he realized that he couldn’t keep going to town and hoping she’d see him when she did everything she could to avoid him. He’d catch glimpses of her, but she remained out of his reach. Just when he thought he could reach her, she seemed to vanish.

  He rubbed his chest, thinking that doing so would somehow ease the ache that was his constant companion. His brother Aaron had been out to see him and assured him that the heartache would ease over time. And when John was ready, Aaron promised to send out another list of women seeking men to marry. But Aaron didn’t get it. John decided that he’d spend the rest of his life alone. There’d never be anyone but Eliza for him.

  His shoulders drooped as he made his way to the shed. He had to get the jewelry box finished for Charity. Her husband requested it as a gift, and though it was difficult to make it, he decided it was time to finish it so he could work on the cabinet that the preacher wanted. He sat at his work table and picked up his tool to carve in the images of doves and hearts that the marshal had specifically requested to go on it. John wished he was making something this nice for Eliza. A gift from a husband to his wife. Something to demonstrate his love for her. He swallowed and brushed back a tear so he could focus on the lines he was carving into the wood.

  A loud tapping on his door interrupted his thoughts. For a moment, he wondered i
f it was Eliza but quickly realized she didn’t knock like that. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Troy saunter into the small building. Disappointed, he turned back to his work.

  “That’s a fine welcome for your brother,” Troy said.

  John didn’t bother to acknowledge the statement. Maybe they were blood, but it didn’t make them friends.

  “You deaf on top of being stupid and mute?”

  John traced the outline of the dove. No. He wouldn’t let Troy’s words bother him. His brother got a sick and twisted pleasure out of watching him get upset.

  Troy picked up the nearly completed jewelry box and examined it. “At least there’s one thing you’re good at. Pa would actually be proud.”

  John grabbed the box and glared at him.

  He shook his head and shrugged. “Now don’t get upset. I was complimenting you. At least you can make a living. It beats begging for food on the corner of a street or bumming off someone else’s hard work. But that’s not why I came. I thought you might like to know that the marshal wants that fancy box by tonight. There’s going to be a special supper at his house.”

  He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He should be glad. The sooner he dropped this off, the sooner he wouldn’t have to deal with the marshal...until the man needed something else from him.

  “Be there around six. You do know when to tell it’s six on the clock, don’t you?”

  Gritting his teeth, he stood up and yanked out his pocket watch and pointed to the six. Then he pointed to his temple.

  Troy chuckled. “It has nothing to do with your head, but I get the message.”

  John took the pencil that he used to draw his designs and wrote on a piece of paper, I am smart. Then he shoved it at Troy.

  For a moment, Troy looked worried but then quickly threw the paper down and clapped. “Good for you. You can write just like a kid in grade school. The dinner starts at six-thirty. The marshal wants to surprise his wife, so make it between six-thirty and seven.”

  As he left, John resisted the urge to punch him. He slowly inhaled and exhaled while he flexed his hands. Violence never solved anything. He knew this. But once...just once...he’d love to make Troy admit that he was smart.