Nobody's Fool (Marriage by Design Book 2) Read online

  Her face warmed from a mixture of pleasure and unease. It suddenly occurred to her that she might not deserve him.

  He took a deep breath. “All right. I think I’m ready.”

  She almost told him there was nothing to worry about. It was just a kiss. People kissed all the time. Maybe not out in public unless they wanted to risk a scandal, but a kiss wasn’t something that should cause someone so much anxiety.

  He closed the distance between them but paused. “I suppose there are several ways I can do this, but I’m not sure which you prefer. I can put my hands on your shoulders and lower my head to press my lips to yours. That seems to be the least invasive way to do this. But then, I think it would be nice to hold you. There is also the option where I put my hands on your hips. While I wouldn’t be embracing you, it might seem a little invasive since all I’ve done is escort you from one room to another and dance with you.”

  She chuckled before she could stop herself. “You’ve given this matter quite some thought, haven’t you?”

  “I’ve never done anything like this before. You must be thinking I’m the most hopeless gentleman in all of London.”

  “No, that’s not what I’m thinking. I’m thinking that it’s rather sweet you’re so nervous around me.”

  As soon as the words were out, she questioned whether it was wise to encourage him.

  Why shouldn’t you encourage him? You are his wife. It’s not like you’re with someone else’s husband. And besides, he’s rather adorable. Maybe a bit socially inept and unfashionable, but there are worse sins a gentleman can have.

  Again, that strange flutter returned to her chest.

  “I’d prefer to hold you in my arms,” he said. “Can I kiss you that way?”

  She nodded. It seemed like a cruel thing to tell him no after all the sweet things he’d told her, and she was interested in how it would feel to be in his arms.

  He made a move to put his arms around her then paused. He seemed to think better of his initial approach since he changed the way his arms were positioned. But then, he changed the position again. This went on for a few more seconds before she realized he was going to keep trying to find the best way to embrace her. And for all she knew, there might be no perfect way of doing this.

  She decided to help him. He was a bit taller than her, so she had to stand on her tiptoes, but she was able to put her arms around his neck.

  That seemed to settle things down, for he proceeded to slip his arms around her waist. Since he was nervous about this, she thought it best to meet him halfway as soon as he lowered his head to hers. Fortunately, his nose didn’t get in the way. She really did think his nose might make the kiss an impossible task, but as it turned out, it didn’t. He was able to kiss her.

  To her shock, it was actually an enjoyable experience. She considered the fact that she might have enjoyed it by accident. She was, after all, also nervous, even though she managed to hide it better than him. So, to make sure, when the kiss ended, she gave him a kiss in return. Yes, it was enjoyable. She hadn’t imagined her enjoyment of this activity by accident.

  This time, she even felt something tingle along her body. She might have panicked if the sensation wasn’t pleasant. It was this sensation that compelled her to linger at his lips for as long as she did. When he released her, she wasn’t sure what to say, but he saved her from trying to come up with something.

  “That was much better than I thought it’d be,” he said. “Of course, I knew I would like it. I like everything I do with you. It’s just that… Well…”

  For the first time she could remember, his uncertainty made her feel better about the swirl of emotions going through her. She hadn’t ever experienced such confusion before. In the past, it’d been easy for her to know what she wanted. But it seemed that the longer her marriage with Benjamin went on, the harder it was to make sense of the world around her.

  A knock came at the door leading to the hall, and the footman called out that Lilly had arrived.

  Turning her attention back to Benjamin who still seemed unable to make out what he should say next, she said, “I enjoyed the kiss, too.”

  Then, her face even warmer than before, she went to answer the door. It was good they ended the conversation here. Even for her, things were awkward, and she didn’t get flustered as easily as he did.

  The footman picked up her trunk, and she and Benjamin followed him to the entryway where Lilly was waiting for them.

  “Why didn’t you go to the drawing room?” Emilia asked in surprise.

  “I was too excited to sit,” Lilly replied after the footman carried the trunk out of the townhouse. Her gaze went to Benjamin, and she cleared her throat. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my sister. I always look forward to visiting her, even when she’s not feeling well.”

  “I’m sure you and Emilia will be able to soothe her anxiety over having a child,” Benjamin said.

  Before Lilly could give away her confusion, Emilia told her, “I explained how your sister is uncertain about carrying the baby and then giving birth. It’s a lot for a lady to deal with.”

  Lilly’s eyes lit up with understanding. “Fortunately, I am also expecting, so I’m in a good position to help her.”

  “Are you sure you’re up for the trip?” Emilia asked. She had overheard a conversation once where the ladies were discussing ailments they experienced when they were with child.

  “I’m fine,” Lilly replied. “In fact, I feel wonderful.”

  Oh. So maybe not all ladies experienced discomfort.

  “That’s marvelous news,” Benjamin told Lilly. “Roger must be happy.”

  “He is,” Lilly said. “We’re already thinking of names. I think that’s the fun part. I’ll have to mention that to my sister. That should give her something uplifting to think about. Thank you for letting Emilia go with me.”

  “I’ll miss her, but it’s important she’s with you,” he replied. “It’s nice that you two have the kind of friendship where you can go out there together. Also, I feel better knowing Emilia will have you with her. I’m sure Roger feels the same way. A lady shouldn’t have to go alone. I know you have the coachman and footman there for protection, but it’s nice you two will be together.”

  “Yes, it is nice we can be together.” Her gaze went to Emilia. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yes, I’m ready.” Emilia offered Benjamin a smile. “I hope you have a good time foxhunting.”

  “Roger’s looking forward to it,” Lilly said. “He had everything ready for the trip before dinner last night.”

  “In that case, I better get my things ready, too,” Benjamin replied.

  The footman returned, and Emilia decided this was the best time to head on to the carriage. She offered Benjamin a goodbye and walked with her friend down the steps of the townhouse.

  It wasn’t until they were in the carriage that Lilly spoke. “Your poor husband is going to really miss you. One would think I just stole his most prized possession by the way he’s looking over here.”

  Emilia directed her gaze to the window and saw that Benjamin was watching them. He offered her a wave. Again, something fluttered in her chest. Heat rising up to her cheeks, she returned the gesture.

  “You’re blushing,” Lilly said in a sing-song voice as the carriage moved forward.

  Emilia turned to her friend. “I think something is wrong with me.”

  “There is if you haven’t admitted he’s a good husband yet,” Lilly replied.

  “I’m being serious, Lilly. I keep feeling these strange sensations right here.” She put her hand on her chest. “It feels like my heart is jumping all over the place. Do you think I need to see a doctor?”

  “When does the strange sensation occur?”

  Emilia shrugged. “It’s been happening quite a bit over the past couple of days. I’ve been trying to ignore it, but it’s only gotten more frequent.” She released an uneasy breath. “I know some people die young, but I did
n’t think I’d be one of them.”

  Lilly chuckled. “You’re not dying.”

  “How do you know that? Things can go wrong with a person’s heart, even when they’re young.”

  “There is nothing wrong with you. You’re fine. You’re not pale.” She touched Emilia’s forehead. “You’re not warm. You’re breathing normally.” She studied Emilia’s face. “You’re fine. You look like you always do.”

  “But I feel different.”

  “Right now?”

  Emilia paused and thought over how things were going on in her chest. “Right now, I feel all right.”

  “So this isn’t something you feel all the time. It’s something that comes and goes?”

  “Yes. That’s right.”

  “Do you feel this strange sensation around me?”

  “No,” Emilia said. “Well, except for just now.”

  “Do you ever feel it around Kitty?”

  “No.”

  “What about Roger?”

  Emilia shook her head.

  “Your parents?” Lilly asked.

  “No,” Emilia replied.

  “Benjamin?”

  “A few times,” Emilia began, “but I’ve also experienced it while alone.”

  “What are you thinking about when you’re alone and you feel it?”

  “What does that have to do with anything?” Emilia asked, surprised by the question.

  Lilly gave her an amused look. “Indulge me, Emilia. What are you thinking about when it happens?”

  Emilia didn’t understand what Lilly was doing, but she decided to go along with the line of questioning, if for no other reason than to figure out what was happening to her. “I first noticed it after I married Benjamin. I’m not sure exactly when it started, but it’s been happening at different times.”

  “Times when you’re either alone or with Benjamin?”

  “Yes, that’s right.”

  “When you’re alone and feel it, are you thinking of Benjamin?”

  Emilia thought carefully over the question. “I felt it this morning right after I got everything ready for this trip. Benjamin knocked on my bedchamber door, and that’s when it happened.” Her eyes lit up. “I think I was afraid of getting caught!”

  “But that’s not the only time you felt it. You felt it before today.”

  Yes, that was true. She had. She bit her lower lip. After a moment, she said, “I did feel it the other day when I touched him.”

  Lilly’s eyes widened in interest. “Where did you touch him?”

  “In the drawing room.”

  Lilly giggled. “I didn’t mean what room you were in at the time. I meant where did you touch him on his body?”

  “Oh.” She thought of that incident then answered, “I touched his arm. It was when he escorted me to the buffet when we ate in the drawing room.”

  Lilly didn’t hide her disappointment. “What a shame. I was hoping for something exciting.”

  “I don’t always touch him when I feel it. Sometimes it happens when he enters a room. Yes, that’s another time it happens! Sometimes I feel it when he comes into a room.”

  Lilly smirked at her. “You’re in no danger of dying. You’re falling in love.”

  “Falling in love?”

  “Yes. You, my dear friend, are falling in love with him. You’re just too stubborn to admit it.”

  “That can’t be it. Falling in love can’t make my heart feel strange.”

  “The fluttering sensation is excitement. You like being around him. You,” she pointed at her, “like his company.”

  Emilia didn’t think her face could get any warmer, but it did. “That’s silly. Even if I did enjoy being with him, it wouldn’t make my heart flutter.”

  “My heart flutters when I’m around Roger. It always did. I was too stupid to realize what it meant when he proposed to me. I assumed I could feel that way around any gentleman. I used to think I experienced the fluttering sensation because he complimented me all of the time. I know better now. Thanks to me, you aren’t left wondering about this any longer. Now you know what is happening. I don’t expect you to accept the truth yet. You’re still determined to get that separate townhouse.”

  “He’s too nice for me,” Emilia quietly replied.

  “If you’re nice to him, then he won’t be too nice for you. The best way you can be nice is by deciding to live in the same townhouse with him. Then you should invite him to your bed.”

  Emilia gasped. “I can’t invite him to my bed! If I did that, he’d think I was in the habit of taking lovers. Only a lady who’s been compromised would suggest such a thing to her husband.”

  “That’s not true. Benjamin knows you’ve never been with a gentleman before. He’s nothing like Lord Northton.” Lilly nudged her. “You should do it. You’ll make Benjamin very happy. It’d be the nicest thing you could do for him.”

  The carriage stopped at Lilly’s house, and Emilia was never more relieved that a conversation was over. That strange fluttering sensation was back, and along with it, her pulse was racing so fast she thought she might faint.

  Lilly clapped in excitement. “Let’s change into our disguises so we can join our husbands for some foxhunting. I can’t wait! I love going to Lord Browning’s estate. I just know you’re going to love it there, too.”

  The footman opened the carriage door, and, for a while at least, Emilia was assured she wasn’t going to hear anything about how she should be nice to Benjamin. Which was a relief. She needed a reprieve from such talk. Imagine her taking him to her bed like a lady who had experience doing that kind of thing! Shaking the thought aside, she left the carriage and hurried to go into Lilly’s townhouse.

  Chapter Fourteen

  An hour later, Emilia was securing her wig to her hair. She’d forgotten how itchy the thing was. She was going to have to do her best to avoid scratching under the thing. She recalled how doing that had made the thing itch even more when she’d been at White’s, though, at the time, it had provided a nice distraction from the fact that Benjamin was in the same room with her.

  It was ironic that she was putting on the disguise to spend the day foxhunting with him. Who would have ever thought she was looking forward to being around him?

  That’s not true. I’m doing this to ride a horse. I’d do anything to ride a horse.

  Even while she thought it, she knew it was only a partial truth. Yes, she did want to ride a horse, but she was also looking forward to seeing Benjamin, even if he wasn’t going to realize who she was.

  A knock came at the door. Glad for the distraction, she hurried over to the door separating Lilly’s bedchamber from Roger’s.

  She was sure it was Lilly since Lilly had gone to Roger’s bedchamber to change into her disguise, but she still called out, “Lilly, is that you?”

  “Yes, it’s me,” Lilly replied.

  Emilia opened the door, and Lilly bounded into the room and gestured to her disguise. “How do I look?”

  Emilia’s eyes widened. “You look more like a gentleman than you did the last time I saw you in that outfit.”

  “Thank you. I’ve been trying to perfect my role as Mr. Squire. I find the more I watch gentlemen, the easier it is to imitate them.”

  “I hadn’t thought to do that.”

  “I do it because Roger loves foxhunting at Lord Browning’s estate. It’s his favorite pastime, and he has no one else to go with. It’s always better when you can do an activity with someone whose company you enjoy.”

  “What if Benjamin decides he loves foxhunting as much as Roger does? Then Roger might want to go with him instead of you since Benjamin doesn’t have to go through the hassle of putting on a disguise and leaving this townhouse without getting caught.” She paused. “We are going to leave this place without getting caught, aren’t we? I don’t want anyone to know I’m the Duke of Marrow.”

  “Regarding Benjamin, if it turns out that he enjoys being at Lord Browning’s with Roger, that would b
e wonderful. Since I’m with child, I won’t be able to keep this up much longer. As for getting out of here, you have nothing to worry about. We’ll sneak down the servants’ stairs just like we did when we went to White’s. I instructed the servants to do tasks around the place that will keep them out of our way, and I arranged for a driver to take us to Lord Browning’s. We’ll go to his residence. He doesn’t live that far from here. Do you have extra clothes in a valise?”

  Emilia nodded and gestured to the valise she had packed in her trunk. “I barely managed to fit it all in.”

  “The important thing is it fits. It’ll be much easier to carry that than a trunk.”

  “What about coming back here? Have you thought through all of that?”

  “Sure. Roger will bring us back as friends he met along the way. Then he’ll give the servants some errands to run that require them all to be gone for an hour. When they return, they’ll assume his friends left while they were gone.”

  Emilia had to admit Lilly was thorough. “You’ve thought of everything.”

  “I learned my tricks from Mr. Robinson,” Lilly said. “He has to sneak around to avoid getting in trouble with his guardian. He’s quite the expert.”

  Emilia couldn’t argue that. Mr. Robinson was the one who introduced them to Lord Edon who’d been able to get them into White’s.

  After Lilly tucked Emilia’s trunk into the corner of her bedchamber where it would remain out of sight, she led Emilia out of the townhouse. They made it to the street without incident. The two were halfway to their destination when Emilia saw two familiar gentlemen heading in her direction. They were Lord Northton and Lord Steinbeck.

  “I don’t suppose we can hurry across the street to avoid them,” Lilly muttered under her breath before she glanced at the carriages coming up and down the street.

  “I don’t think so,” Emilia replied. “There are too many carriages. At least Lord Steinbeck isn’t going to lecture us on behaving ourselves at White’s lest we get put in the Book of Shame.”