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  “All right,” Neil replied. “Where do you live?”

  The man pointed down the street. “Five blocks in that direction.”

  “I should get my horse.” Though Neil dreaded the task of going back to the saloon to untie his stallion, he didn’t see that he had much of a choice. Once he returned to where the chubby 5'6" man stood, they sauntered down the dark street, passing lit lanterns that were hooked on poles. Several people passed by, some on horse, some walking. They nodded polite greetings which Neil and the man next to him reciprocated.

  “My name is Bill Peters. People call me Preacher Peters.”

  Neil stopped. His horse also paused but nudged him in the shoulder.

  “Did I say something wrong?” Bill asked.

  “You don’t know who I am, but I’m sure you heard of me. My name is Neil Craftsman.”

  Bill smiled. “Yes, I’ve heard of you. Will you still be coming to my house?”

  He frowned. “You’re willing to associate with me?”

  “Sure. Why shouldn’t I?”

  “I haven’t exactly led a holy life.”

  “The last time I checked, no one was perfect. You seem like a man who’s down on his luck and could use a friend.”

  Neil realized Bill was being sincere by the kindness on his face. For a reason Neil couldn’t comprehend, this particular minister decided to reach out to him. “I do need someone I can talk to.”

  They moved forward, making light talk until they reached the preacher’s house where his wife welcomed Neil and went to make coffee while they rested in the parlor. While he and the preacher drank the hot, soothing liquid, Neil told him everything, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He worried that the man would kick him out, but he took it all in, nodding and listening.

  “So today when I came home early from selling some cattle, I found Cassie in her bedroom with one of the men who I purchased feed from. It wasn’t a pretty scene. I’m just glad Emily was with my mother so she didn’t see it. I lost my temper and pounded my fist through the wall. Then I went after him, and I would have beat him into the ground had it not been for the fact that he was too fast for me. But she reminded me that I hadn’t been the ideal husband. And she was right. You see, I tried to run off with another man’s wife when I realized Cassie loved Emily’s father.” Neil took a deep, shaky breath. “I wasn’t a good husband. And I’m not a good man, Preacher. I deserve what I got.”

  “You gave up and went to the saloon to ease your pain,” the man said.

  “I guess. At the time, I thought I was just going there to have relations. I suppose you’re right.” Neil let out a bitter laugh. “It’s ironic if you think about it. I know everything there is to know about the physical act of intimacy, but when it comes to love...” He exhaled. “When it comes to love, I don’t know a single damn thing.”

  “That’s not true. It is your love for your daughter that got you out of the saloon.”

  “Only because of a button.”

  Bill set his empty cup on the table that sat between them. “Sometimes a button is a miracle. Neil, I believe that good things can come out of any situation. All it takes is what you’re going to do now. You have the choice to go back home and be a good husband and father. Maybe after time when Cassie sees that you are sincere, she’ll come around to loving you, and you can have the marriage you hoped for. But even if that doesn’t happen, you might want to continue being the best husband and father you can be for Emily’s sake.”

  “I do want to do that. I’m not happy with who I’ve been. I would like Emily to be proud of me.”

  “I hope you’ll let me help you as you turn your life around.”

  “You mean like me stopping in once a week to visit with you?”

  He nodded. “You are certainly welcome to do that. However, I meant coming to church.”

  Neil shifted in the chair, holding his cup. “Your congregation won’t like it.”

  “I’d be surprised if they didn’t. I preach forgiveness, mercy, and love. It’s true that judgment happens, but it seems that you’ve dealt with that. Now it’s time for redemption. Everyone deserves a second chance. And it helps when you can be surrounded with people who’ve been in your shoes. There are many people in my church who’ve done things they regret.”

  “Really?”

  He chuckled. “You act like you’re the only one who’s ever done something wrong. I guarantee you’ll be glad you came to my church. And if anyone gives you a hard time, let me know and I’ll deal with him.”

  “All right.”

  His anger faded as the memory receded. Neil turned his stallion onto his property. He recalled how he went to that church the next day and was surprised to learn that Preacher Peters had been right. He wasn’t alone, and the congregation welcomed him. Though Cassie refused to go, he took Emily with him to church and from there, his life turned for the better. But then, when he ran into the people who didn’t believe he changed, it was easy to get discouraged. I’m not the same man I was back then. What will it take for people to realize that?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Later that day, as Sarah was cleaning the supper dishes, Neil rushed into the house and slammed the door. Startled, she almost dropped the plate. “What is it?” she asked. “Did Emily fall off the horse?”

  “No.” He darted to the bassinet and picked it up, his anxious movements causing her tension to rise. “You have to go to your room. Now!”

  Without thinking, she put the plate in the cupboard and ran after him. “Why? What happened?”

  He moved so fast that she could hardly keep up with him.

  “Neil.” She gasped for air once she reached her bedroom where he wrapped another blanket around Luke since the room was chilly. Clasping her hands over her heart, she asked, “Won’t you tell me what’s going on?”

  The knocking at the kitchen door made him bolt straight up. “It’s a long story but the people from your church found out where you are.”

  Her eyes grew wide.

  “That’s why you need to stay here.” He strode over to where she stood in the doorway. “I won’t let them come in this house, but they can’t see you or Luke. Understand?”

  Another round of loud knocking came from the closed kitchen door.

  “No,” she said, her voice firm.

  “I don’t have time to explain but I ran into your preacher and let it slip that I know he didn’t take in a widow with a son. I didn’t say your name or that you were staying here, but he put two and two together and there he is at the door.”

  “No, I meant that I’m not hiding.” She steeled her resolve and marched down the steps.

  He followed close behind. “Sarah, what are you doing?”

  “I’m tired of pretending that I don’t know you.”

  Grabbing her arm, he stopped her as she reached the bottom step. “You don’t know what you’re doing. Some people haven’t forgotten what I used to do, and they don’t mind ostracizing me. I don’t want that to happen to you because you associate with me.”

  “I’m not ashamed of you, Neil.” She took a deep breath, her eyes meeting his. “I admit I was, but I’m not anymore.”

  “You have no idea how tough it is to be an outcast.”

  “And you have no idea how tough it is to be a mindless puppet.” The knocking brought her attention back to the preacher. She stormed to the door and flung it open, ignoring the near faint Jim’s mother did against the preacher’s side. “May I help you?” she asked, forcing her voice to remain steady.

  Preacher Amos put his arm around Beatrice’s shoulders to steady her. Focusing his bewildered stare at Sarah, he said, “Mrs. Donner, are you aware that you are committing a grave sin?”

  Frowning, she crossed her arms, tucking her trembling hands under her elbows. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “You are living here, in this house, with a man you’re not married to.”

  “We’re not intimate.
I am staying in the spare bedroom with my son.”

  “Oh, she’s lying!” Beatrice sobbed into her handkerchief. “My dear little Jim is being subjected to...to that man.”

  “My son’s name is Luke,” she snapped. “When will you ever get it right?”

  “Mrs. Donner, you do have to consider who you are staying with.” The preacher leaned forward, keeping his voice low. “Mr. Craftsman is known for having his way with vulnerable women.”

  “I had a reputation for going to the saloon to women who knew what they were doing,” Neil clarified.

  Since she didn’t hear his approach, Sarah jerked.

  The preacher turned to her. “You cannot stay here with a man who delights in the company of prostitutes. It is not right. You need to do what’s best for you and your child.”

  Neil took a step toward the preacher and Jim’s mother. Beatrice immediately backed up, but Amos stood firm. “I’m tired of having to remind people that I don’t do that anymore.”

  “He doesn’t,” Sarah agreed. “In fact, he leads the kind of life you tell people to live.”

  The preacher shook his head. “Maybe he hasn’t made his move yet, but you just wait. When you least expect it, he’ll attack.”

  “If he was that eager to take advantage of me, he would have done it already. I don’t mean any disrespect, Preacher, but I can’t believe how closed-minded you’re being.”

  Beatrice gasped, her eyes wide.

  The preacher’s face grew red.

  “Well, it’s the truth,” Sarah insisted. “Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance? Isn’t redemption the message you preach every Sunday?”

  “He’s blinded you with deceitful words,” Beatrice replied through choked sobs. “You were always foolish and gullible. Jim protected you but ever since he died, you’ve had no one to hold your hand and give you the comfort you so desperately need. I will do the noble thing and let you stay with me so Jim’s child can have a secure home.”

  Sarah’s hands clenched. “I’d rather eat pig slop than be subjected to a life of misery with you.”

  The woman gasped again, holding her handkerchief to her mouth.

  The preacher shook his head. “Do you see what staying here has done to you? You are turning into a willful and disobedient woman.”

  “If that’s true, then it’s your fault.”

  “Oh, is there no limit to her rebellion?” Beatrice asked the preacher.

  “Rebellion?” Sarah asked. “I call it freedom. Finally, I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not, acting like everything’s fine when it’s not, and being the perfect little person because I’m not. As far as I’m concerned, my life is much better off without you or Jim!”

  The preacher tried to pat Sarah on the arm but she pulled back. “Sarah, you’re not thinking straight. You need to calm down.”

  “Calm down? I need to calm down because you didn’t feel like putting me up in your spare bedroom? You know, the one you use as your personal library? You had the room and you had the means to care for me and Luke, but you didn’t want to be inconvenienced. So Neil had the kindness and decency to take me in when no one else would. That’s what it means to do what’s right. Getting up and speaking pious platitudes doesn’t help a widow who needs to take care of her son. I wash my hands of this church.”

  “You see what happens when a sheep strays from the flock?” the preacher grimly told a hysterical Beatrice. “She gets eaten by a wolf.” He turned to Sarah. “We’re taking you and your baby home where you can regain your senses.”

  Neil blocked him before he could reach for Sarah’s arm. “She said no.”

  “She’s just a woman. She doesn’t know what’s good for her,” Amos replied.

  “Are you going to leave my property or do I have to get my gun?”

  “You have no right to threaten me.”

  “I have a right to defend anyone on my property. I also have the right to get unwanted trespassers off my land. If I have to force you, I will.”

  The preacher clenched his jaw. “This isn’t over. You can’t keep Sarah a prisoner forever. We’ll rescue her.” His movements were stiff as he led a crying Mrs. Donner to the buggy.

  Sarah breathed a sigh of relief, though she understood the reprieve was temporary. The preacher would be back, and he would most likely bring prominent men from the congregation with him. She rubbed her eyes, suddenly feeling weary.

  “I don’t suppose that’s the last we’ll see of him,” Neil calmly replied.

  Looking at him, she sighed. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “If I wasn’t here, they would leave you alone. You don’t need this, especially after what happened with Dan Adair.”

  He stood silent for a moment, staring thoughtfully at her until she blushed. When he gazed at her intently like that, she felt a tingle travel from her head to her toes.

  He smiled. “It seems that you paid me the highest of all compliments.”

  Her eyebrows furrowed. “How so?”

  “You believe in me.” Clearing his throat, he quickly added, “I better check on Emily. Will you be all right?”

  Luke’s cries caught her attention. “Yes. Thank you for not making me go with that woman.” She hurried up the stairs to care for her son.

  ***

  Sarah asked to join Neil when he went to church that Sunday, and when he asked her if she was sure, she said yes. She was tired of hiding, as if acting like she did something wrong. The truth was, she wasn’t. So why hide from the town? Later that week, she asked to go to the mercantile to purchase some food items that she needed.

  After Neil helped her out of the buggy, he said, “I have to go to the bank and post office. When I’m done, I’ll fill up the basket with anything you need. I know how difficult it can be to carry a baby and a bunch of food.”

  Nodding, she entered the mercantile, holding Luke in her arms. She smiled at the owner who looked up from the flour sacks he was arranging on the shelf. “Good morning, Mr. Lindon.”

  “Well, I’ll be if it isn’t the disappearing Mrs. Donner.” He grinned, his wrinkles deepening as he laughed. “I heard rumors that you appeared here and there, but I hadn’t seen you with my own two eyes to make sure people told me the truth.”

  “I had a baby. I wasn’t in shape to do a lot of traveling.”

  The man ran his hand through his white, shaggy hair. “So that’s true too? You’re staying with Mr. Craftsman because no one would take you in when you lost your home after Jim’s death?”

  She shook her head, thankful no one else could hear them. “I don’t like gossip.”

  “It’s not gossip if you tell me what you’re doing.”

  “I see you still have a funny way of rationalizing things.”

  He shrugged. “I like to know what’s going on with my customers. I don’t see that as being intrusive. It just means I care. And I do care about you, Mrs. Donner. You are one of the few customers who always had a kind word for people at a time when they needed it.”

  “You mean, you’ve been listening to me talk to people when I shop here?”

  “A man can’t help but overhear some conversations as he stocks the shelves.”

  She didn’t know if she liked him or not. Sometimes, he displayed great kindness, but then there were times when he was a downright snoop. “You’re rationalizing again.”

  Sighing, he gave her pleading look. “So I care too much. What’s the harm? If it makes you feel any better, I assured Preacher Amos and several others from your church that you wouldn’t dare share a bed with Neil Craftsman unless you married him.”

  Her face flushing, she struggled to find a proper response. Fortunately, the bell rang above the door and Caroline and Rachel stepped into the store. As soon as they saw her, they ran in her direction.

  “I’ll leave you to your friends.” Ralph patted Luke on the head and went to the counter to take care of a customer.

  “Oh Sarah, I am so sorry t
hat Hubert was rude to you,” Caroline said as she gave Sarah a big hug. “I had no idea he could be that way. I mean, he’s been demanding at times, but never did I see him exhibit such bad manners.”

  “And Jack and I decided to leave the church,” Rachel added. “When we heard the sermon the preacher gave on the fall of the righteous, we knew he was talking about you and couldn’t believe it. I mean, you grew up in that church. He should know you better than that.”

  Caroline nodded. “With everyone, including us, turning you away when you needed a place to stay...” She pressed her hand to her chest. “I am sorry that I didn’t take you in, Sarah.”

  Rachel anxiously nodded. “I am too. We could have found a spot for you in our home.”

  Pleased, and relieved, Sarah smiled. “Caroline, your family was sick. And Rachel, your house is already packed as it is. There’s no harm. It’s all worked out. And I’m glad we’re still friends.”

  “Always,” Rachel replied, giving her a hug. Then she looked at Luke. “He looks like you. I don’t see much of Jim in him at all.”

  “He’s a darling,” Caroline agreed, touching his chin. “His eyes are brown, just like yours.”

  “And he has your blond hair, your nose, and your forehead.” Rachel lowered her voice. “Thankfully, one of Jim’s better features was his chin. I never did understand what you found appealing about him.”

  Sarah shrugged. “He was attentive and kind to my sister. When she eloped with Raphael, I thought he might turn his affections on me once he got to know me.”

  “But he didn’t.” Caroline’s voice was solemn.

  Giving her friend a sharp look, Sarah asked, “How can you know that? I never said anything.”

  “You didn’t have too. It was written all over your face.”