Forced into Marriage Page 13

  On its own accord, her gaze went to the telltale sign of his arousal. Being a man, he couldn’t hide the evidence of his excitement. It was nice that she didn’t have a feeling of dread or fear with him. In fact, she experienced something she never had before. Anticipation. She was actually looking forward to bringing him pleasure. She even settled back on the bed and parted her legs for him.

  But he didn’t enter her right away. Nor did he reach for her breasts. Instead, he brought her into his arms and kissed her. She was so surprised by the action that it took her a second to respond to him. It wasn’t that she hadn’t been kissed before. She had. Her first husband had always given her a polite kiss to get things started, but Brandon’s kiss was nothing like that. His was soft and tender with a certain enthusiasm in it.

  She settled against him, curious as to how different her experience would be with him. Her intention hadn’t been to mark the differences. It seemed, though, that it couldn’t be helped. Just as it couldn’t be helped in the other areas of their marriage.

  With a moan, he traced her lower lip with his tongue, asking for permission to deepen the kiss. She parted her lips to invite him in, and his tongue brushed against hers. To her surprise, she liked kissing him this way. She had never liked it when Orson or the others thrust their tongues into her mouth. She knew they thought it would arouse her, but it only made her gag. With Brandon, such wasn’t the case.

  He shifted in a way that allowed him to explore her body. She took note of his hands as he traced her back, her rear end, her thigh, and then going up to her breasts. He was especially gentle with her breasts. His fingers traced the curve of them before spending time on her nipples.

  He wasn’t in any hurry to rush through any of this. He was taking his time to learn about her. He was taking his time to care about her. She’d been with enough men to know when they only sought their own pleasure. Brandon seemed intent on seeking hers.

  This was nice. It was nice to be touched in such a way. She wasn’t sure if it was love. But he definitely cared for her, and that, in itself, prompted her to further open herself up to him.

  His hand went from her breasts to her legs. Without prompting, she spread her legs for him. He lightly touched the folds of her flesh as if to make sure she still wanted him to make love to her. Not sure what the right words to say would be, she decided to a nod her encouragement.

  He relaxed then offered her another kiss before he continued with what he had started. He slid two fingers into her and began to stroke her core. This was new to her, and after a few seconds, she realized she liked it. She liked it even more when his thumb settled over her sensitive nub and rubbed it in slow, circular motions.

  She had no idea that part of her body was capable of pleasure. Discomfort or pain, she had been familiar with, but this strange feeling of increasing desire that welled up deep within her was brand new. She wasn’t sure what to make of it, except that it was yet another difference in being with Brandon.

  She closed her eyes and gave into the urge to give herself to the unfamiliar sensations. After a while, his thumb worked faster on her sensitive nub, and soon she was rocking her hips, instinctively helping him along. The tension building up inside of her finally grew to the point where it needed to be released, and when it did, a surge of pleasure swept over her.

  She’d never experienced anything like it. If someone had told her this was possible during the act, she wouldn’t have believed it. She had expected to find some level of fulfillment from being with Brandon, but he had taken the time to show her that when they were in bed, he was going to take measures to make sure she would find as much enjoyment in being together as he would. This wasn’t just about him. It was about her, too.

  In some ironic way, knowing this made her want to cry. But she brushed away the tears so he wouldn’t see them. He would misunderstand them. He would assume he was hurting her, and that was the last thing she wanted him to think.

  After he slid his fingers out of her, he took a few minutes to kiss her, and she found herself melting against him. This gave her the time she needed in order to settle her emotions.

  When he shifted so that he was on top of her, she was ready for him. He slid into her, and she welcomed him. This wasn’t something she had to do. It was something she chose to do. And because of that, the whole thing didn’t feel like a violation. She didn’t feel like she was being used. She was, for the first time in her life, being made love to.

  She wrapped her legs around his waist so he could go even deeper into her. His thrusting started slow, but then, before long, it grew more insistent. She watched him in the dim light, more out of curiosity than in order to remind herself that she was with him. She wanted to know what a man who sincerely cared about a woman looked like when he was receiving pleasure from her body.

  Brandon was caught up in the moment. There was no denying that. She could tell he was getting close to finding his release. But even as he strove for the climax, there was still the tenderness in his face that hadn’t been there with the others.

  She squeezed his arms. She loved him. Even in the midst of his own pleasure, he was thinking of her.

  His body grew taut, and he stilled. The familiar throbbing inside of her let her know he had found his release. After he relaxed, he stayed inside of her for some time, seeming to be reluctant to part from her. She liked this. He didn’t hurry to get off of her. He wanted to stay connected to her.

  When he did finally ease himself from her, he brought her into his arms. “Did I do anything that made you uncomfortable?” he whispered after a long moment.

  “No,” she whispered in reply. “Being with you was nothing like being with the others.”

  He breathed a sigh of relief. “Good. I never want to remind you of them.”

  “You don’t.”

  He kissed her again and then closed his eyes. Realizing she had put his mind at ease, she smiled and closed her eyes as well. They had a long day tomorrow, and since they would be getting up before dawn, they didn’t have much time to sleep. But she was glad they had been together this way tonight. Now they had crossed the threshold from having a platonic marriage to one that was real in every sense of the word. And she was looking forward to being his wife for the rest of their lives, which she hoped would be for a very long time.

  ***

  When Brandon woke up, his first thought was that making love to Lokni had been a dream. He’d been having that specific dream almost every night since they got to this hotel room. The very fact that they shared a bed unwillingly prompted images in his mind that he fought to suppress. Only when he was asleep did those images fully play out. Having been married before, he knew full well how everything felt during the act of making love. Last night’s dream, however, had been unusually vivid.

  He opened his eyes. Once more, he was holding Lokni. Her back was turned to him, and he had his arm wrapped around her waist. Almost every morning, he’d been waking up this way. The only way to get rid of his persistent erection had been to roll away from her and focus on the work that needed to be done that day. Usually, that would enable him to get back to sleep.

  Except on this particular morning, something was different. Lokni wasn’t wearing any clothes. And come to think of it, he wasn’t, either. So he hadn’t been dreaming. Last night had really happened. She’d given him permission to make love to her, and it had felt much better than he remembered. Having lived a celibate life since his divorce, he’d forgotten exactly how nice it was to be with a woman. It wasn’t just the physical release. It was also the emotional connection the act brought with it. He felt much closer to Lokni than he had at any other time since they met.

  He turned his gaze to the window, trying to determine what time it was. The sky was completely dark, so he knew it was well before dawn. But was it time to wake everyone up and head on out? Or might there be time to give into his desire to be intimate with Lokni again?

  It was the latter thought that prompted him t
o get out of bed. He checked his pocket watch in the moonlight streaming in through the window. They didn’t have to leave for another hour. He glanced at Clint, who was sound asleep in the bassinet, looking as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Then he turned his attention to Lokni, who was watching him.

  He set the pocket watch back down and returned to the bed. “We have an hour before we need to leave,” he whispered.

  He put his arm around her and drew her to his side, already aware that his erection was prompting him to do more than just talk to her. But it didn’t seem right to jump into lovemaking, not given how the men in her past had treated her. He never wanted her to think that was all he valued her for. She was much more to him than a bed partner.

  He took her hand in his and held it. He wasn’t any good at saying what he felt. He often wondered if that was why his first wife ended up with his friend. His friend had had no trouble expressing himself, and she had said she felt that he loved her. Brandon often wondered how she could not feel loved by him since he worked long hours to provide her with the things she wanted. It had taken a good amount of money to keep her happy. And he had worked so hard that he was exhausted by the time he was home.

  Lokni wasn’t like that. She didn’t require material things to be happy. When he had given her the new outfit at the general store, she hadn’t expressed a desire for more. There hadn’t been the flicker of disappointment that he hadn’t given her enough. It’d been a relief. For once, he didn’t feel inadequate as a provider. And the ironic thing was that he had much less money now than he had back then.

  “I can’t go back to sleep,” Lokni whispered.

  “I can’t, either.” But then, he hadn’t expected to be able to since he was holding her while he was aroused.

  She shifted so that she could look at the bassinet.

  “He’s still asleep,” he said. “I don’t want to wake him up too early.” With a smile, he rolled onto his side so he was facing her. “I want you to know that last night was important to me. It couldn’t have been easy for you to open yourself to me like that, but I’m glad you did.”

  “It was easy for me to open myself to you,” she replied, surprising him. After a moment, she added, “I didn’t tell you this, but I was married before. To a man in my tribe. He was killed when our tribe was attacked. I also didn’t tell you that Clint wasn’t the first child I had. A few months before the attack, I gave birth to a girl. The cord was wrapped around her neck. She didn’t make it.” She took a deep breath and released it. “I had to bury her.”

  Brandon was ready to ask her why she chose to tell him all of this now when she’d kept it a secret for so long, but then he knew why. These were things that brought her too much pain to think about. And when the past was painful, it was easier not to talk about it. Talking about it only brought everything back to the surface. It was why he had turned to alcohol. The alcohol had allowed his feelings to go numb, making it easier for him to forget his own pain. But, of course, that hadn’t been the correct way to handle it. Sometimes a person had to deal with the pain in order to heal.

  “I’m sorry,” Brandon said, knowing the words wouldn’t erase the past.

  “Having Clint helped me overcome the heartache of losing my daughter,” Lokni replied. “But I never loved my first husband. I didn’t even like him. I just,” she shrugged, “tolerated him because I had to. Our ways are not the same as yours. In our tribe, it is common for one man to have multiple wives. My husband was also the husband of my two sisters. My father arranged the marriage for us, and I had to do what my father wanted unless I wanted to be cast out of the tribe. I never enjoyed my time with my first husband.” She reached up and put her hand on his cheek, her touch warming his heart. “But I enjoy being with you. You care for me.”

  He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I do.” He took her hand and kissed it. If there was ever a time to tell her how he felt, it was now. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Then she brought her mouth to his, and with that kiss, he knew he had her permission to make love to her again. And it seemed fitting to express their love this way after they said the words. Perhaps, just perhaps, he could get the hang of telling her how he felt. He didn’t want her to ever wonder if he loved her or not. He wanted her to be secure in the knowledge that he did. Now and forever.

  Chapter Sixteen

  After Brandon paid the hotel owner, he and Lokni went to the livery stable. She had Clint in the carrier that was strapped to her chest. She had thought Clint would be wide awake after she changed his diaper and fed him, but he went right back to sleep as soon as she had him in the carrier.

  He took the heavy sacks that contained their clothing, cooking gear, and food items. She carried the blankets and his bedroll. She thought they made a good team. They hadn’t even had to ask each other what to do. They had done their own tasks to get things ready for the trip and collected what they needed.

  They woke both the hotel owner and livery stable owners in order to pay them because it was still dark out when they left town. It seemed that no one was awake at this hour except for the prostitutes and gambling men in the saloon further down the street, but they didn’t pay either her or Brandon any mind.

  Maybe she and Brandon were being hasty in leaving town the way they were, but she was pleased that Brandon was showing so much concern for her and Clint.

  When Brandon finished setting everything on the horse, she asked, “Would you mind if I tell Clint you’re his real father?”

  Brandon took the reins with one hand and wrapped his free arm around her. “As far as I’m concerned, he is my son in every sense of the word.” He kissed her. “It’s just you, me, and Clint. We’re going to have a new life in California, and as long as we’re together, we’ll be happy.”

  She smiled. “Yes, we will.”

  He returned her smile, and, side-by-side, they headed out of the town.

  Through the day, they traveled south of town, and at Brandon’s insistence, they kept to the trees. He kept looking back to see if anyone was following them. She didn’t know if the woman and her husband would come after them or not. The woman had seemed desperate, and Lokni had learned that desperation prompted people to do things they otherwise wouldn’t do. It was probably best they proceed with caution.

  “Their wagon train is heading out tomorrow morning,” Brandon said.

  Lokni found this encouraging news and relaxed a little more. Brandon took her hand and held it as they continued on their way.

  When it came time for the evening, they set up their camp, and Brandon prepared dinner while she took care of Clint.

  “Maybe I can get us a rabbit or a gopher tomorrow,” Brandon said as he glanced over at her from the small campfire. “Then we can have some meat with our meal.”

  She smiled as she fed their son. “Do you miss those steaks we ate at the hotel?”

  “A little. I won’t lie. I love steak. I could probably eat it every day. But I also know it gets expensive. Sometimes you settle for what you can get.”

  “Maybe you’ll make enough in California to have steak every night.”

  “Maybe.” He shrugged. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do there. I haven’t gotten any further than imagining what the beach and ocean are like. I wish you had seen that painting, Lokni. It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. When I looked at it, I felt as if I was right there. Feeling the warm sun on my face and watching those blue waves as they rolled up to the shore. If there’s a heaven on earth, I imagine that’s where it is.” He gave her a smile. “It’ll be even better with you and Clint there.”

  “I’m looking forward to it.”

  And she was. Especially after last night and this morning. She turned her gaze back to Clint and saw that he had drifted off to sleep. She wrapped Clint in a small blanket and then placed him nearby on a larger one. Before, she had slept on the blanket with him, but now, she would sleep in the bedroll with Brandon.


  They ate their meal, and Brandon put out the fire. “I don’t see anyone,” he said as he scanned the trees and land around them, “but just to be safe, I think it’s best to go without a fire tonight.”

  His reasoning made sense, so she agreed it was a good strategy. He set his Colt .45 near the bedroll and she slipped in with him. Before long, they started kissing, and from there, they made love. Then, they slipped back into their clothes, and she pulled Clint up beside her. The exhaustion of the day quickly caught up to her, and she soon fell asleep.

  ***

  Brandon wasn’t sure what time it was when he heard the sound of someone approaching. He had fallen asleep on his back with the Colt .45 tucked at his side. Lokni had her back to him. She was facing toward Clint. It was a good strategy. The fact that she had Clint next to her gave him the freedom to focus on everything else.

  And at the moment, he heard footsteps, and he thought they were heading for Clint. So leaving early hadn’t worked this time. It had worked with Orson and his gang. But it hadn’t worked with the man and his wife.

  Brandon hadn’t been able to get rid of the nagging sensation that they would stoop to whatever means possible to get Clint. There had been a desperate look in their eyes he’d only seen a couple of times in his life, and each of those times when he had, things hadn’t gone well.

  He wrapped his hand around the gun. The intruder slowly approached, trying to make sure their steps were as quiet as possible. There was no doubt about it. The person was going straight to Clint.

  When he heard the sound of the person kneeling in front of his son, his eyes flew open. He turned onto his side and pointed the gun at the person’s face.

  “Back off,” he said, his voice taking on a hard quality he wasn’t used to.

  In the moonlight, it took him a couple of seconds to make out the face of the woman who had tried to buy Clint yesterday while they were still in town. The woman remained frozen in place, her hands only inches from the sleeping baby.