Nobody's Fool (Marriage by Design Book 2) Page 11

  “I don’t recall anything terrible your wife did,” Benjamin said after a moment.

  Lord Steinbeck didn’t hide his shock. “You don’t? It was all over the Tittletattle. She kissed Mr. Morris in front of everyone.”

  Benjamin thought back to that evening. Oh, that was right. That had been the night he found out Emilia held a secret admiration for him. He laughed. “All she did was kiss him,” he told Lord Steinbeck. “People have done that at balls before. It’s not like she’s the first one to engage in a scandal.”

  “She did it at Lady Cadwalader’s ball,” Roger replied.

  “I don’t know why anyone would want to kiss someone in the middle of a ball,” Lord Steinbeck said with a shake of his head. “Expressions of affection should be done where no one can see them.”

  “I don’t know,” Benjamin’s uncle said. “I think it’s romantic. Little tokens of affection let others know you care about the person you’re with.”

  Lord Steinbeck snorted. “Little tokens of affection? From what I heard, Mr. Morris ended up falling to the floor, and she was sprawled out on top of him. It was indecent. I’m just glad I wasn’t there to see it.”

  “She didn’t mean for that to happen,” Benjamin said. “Everyone could tell she only wanted to kiss him. The fall was an accident.”

  “It was an accident,” Roger affirmed. “Her intention was only to kiss me. Nothing more. It looked a lot worse than it was.”

  “Well, it was still irresponsible of her to kiss you right in front of everyone,” Lord Steinbeck insisted.

  Roger shrugged. “I was determined to marry someone else. She had no other choice. It was the only way she was going to marry me.”

  Lord Steinbeck grimaced but didn’t say anything. Benjamin didn’t know why something as simple as a kiss should bother him. Come to think of it, he didn’t know why a kiss bothered so many people. He thought it might be nice if couples were free to give each other little kisses here and there. He understood why it wouldn’t be wise to do more than that, but small tokens of affection weren’t the least bit harmful to anyone.

  “I think the rules are too restrictive,” Benjamin finally said.

  He had to fight back the urge to add that he could understand why such restrictions were enforced by the Ton, but adding that would be a lie. He didn’t understand it. He’d only be saying it to appease Lord Steinbeck since the gentleman was a stickler for the rules.

  Benjamin took a deep breath and refused to relent. Emilia thought it was just fine if he let his opinion be known. In fact, she had encouraged him to be willing to take the risk and let others know what he thought. And that was what he was going to do.

  As he expected, Lord Steinbeck didn’t look all that pleased with his comment.

  “I agree with my friend,” Roger told Lord Steinbeck, breaking the silence. “You have to admit that some people are so bound by the rules that they never enjoy life. It wouldn’t hurt if the rules were eased a bit.”

  After a moment, Lord Steinbeck offered a nod. “I suppose there are a few rules that don’t make sense.”

  Benjamin felt himself relax. Things hadn’t gone as bad as he’d feared they would. Lord Steinbeck wasn’t going to tell him he had no right to be in White’s. And more than that, Roger had stood up for him. Benjamin had known that his uncle would stand by him no matter what, but with the others, he hadn’t had that assurance.

  Roger turned his attention to Benjamin. “What do you say? Won’t you join me for fox hunting? You expressed an interest in the sport. Why not come with me?”

  Benjamin wanted to accept the offer since he would love to go, but he still hesitated to since it meant he would have to be away from Emilia overnight. That was, of course, if they went to the estate Roger had told him about. But that estate wasn’t the only place one could hunt for foxes.

  Inspired, Benjamin asked, “Do we have to go to the one where ladies aren’t allowed? Can’t we go to one of the places where we can take our wives?”

  “Maybe,” Roger said. “Let me talk with my wife, and then we’ll discuss this again.”

  Benjamin nodded, feeling better that Emilia would be included in the outing. He didn’t know if Emilia liked fox hunting, or even the idea of doing it, but she might not mind going if she could be with her friend. Perhaps in time, after they’d been married for a year or so, he wouldn’t have this intense desire to spend as much time with her as possible.

  Even now, he was looking forward to having a second dance with her. He had told himself that it was important he let her have time with her friends. He didn’t want to be the kind of husband who had to manage his wife’s life. Some gentlemen were controlling in that respect. He doubted ladies were happy in such an arrangement. He wouldn’t like someone dictating every little thing he did.

  He glanced at the dance floor and saw that Emilia was still dancing. Her two friends were close by. They seemed to be enjoying themselves. That was good. He wanted Emilia to have a pleasant evening.

  “Why don’t you go on and ask her to dance?” his uncle told him. “You don’t have to spend all of your time with me just because I’m new to London.”

  “If you’re interested in investing,” Lord Steinbeck began, “I can introduce you to the Duke of Swendon.”

  Benjamin’s uncle smiled. “I do enjoy investing. I’d be happy to make his acquaintance.”

  The two left, and Roger waved for Benjamin to go with him to the dancing area. “I think we’ve neglected our wives long enough. They’re apt to think we forgot all about them.”

  There was no way Benjamin could ever forget Emilia, but he laughed at his friend’s joke, and the two went to dance with their wives.

  ***

  The next morning, Emilia stirred sugar into her tea. Usually, Benjamin was the first to come to the drawing room, but she was the one waiting for him for a change. The previous evening had been so different from what she’d imagined. She had waited for someone to give a glance or utter a word about how sad it was that she was with Benjamin. But none of that had happened. There had been no pitying looks. There had been no whispers or laughter at her expense. The evening had been like any other evening she’d had at the balls.

  Was it possible that she was the only one who had looked at Benjamin and seen his faults? Could it be that everyone else saw him as any other gentleman who was in London? And if so, what did that say about her?

  A noise from the doorway took her attention off of her thoughts. She thought it might be Benjamin, but a couple of maids and the butler were bringing things in for the morning meal. She took a sip of her tea. Her mind went back to the previous evening. She had enjoyed dancing with Benjamin. They hadn’t spoken much. She’d spent most of her time with her friends. Still, the times they had talked hadn’t been all that bad. She was struggling to remember why she used to feel the need to hide in the corner of a room whenever he was around, but nothing was coming to mind.

  She took a few sips of her tea. It was very disconcerting to realize her memory wasn’t as good as she thought it was.

  Benjamin came into the room just as the servants were done setting the table. He came over to her, and her heart did the strangest flutter. She resisted the urge to panic. Should she send for a doctor? That sensation had never happened to her before.

  He pulled up the chair and sat close to her. In the past, she would have edged away from him, but for some reason, she felt compelled to lean toward him instead. She resisted the urge to do so. Her body might be at war with her mind, but she was determined to regain her senses.

  “Roger invited me to his townhouse this afternoon,” Benjamin said. “Since you’re friends with his wife, would you like to come with me?”

  Though she was sure Lilly would find a way to tease her like she had last night, she thought it might be nice to go with him. She nodded and took another sip of her tea. Good heavens. Were her hands shaking?

  “It’s ironic if you think about it,” Benjamin said. “Roger and
I have been members of White’s for years, and while I have had an occasion to talk to him, we never became friends until you married me. I used to think he only liked chess. It seems like he and Lord Northton are always playing it when I see them there. I wouldn’t have guessed that he liked fox hunting. He doesn’t seem like a braggart, so when he says he’s good at the sport, I believe him. Some gentlemen brag to impress people, but they aren’t what they appear to be.”

  Intrigued he should say such a thing, she asked, “Really? Like who?”

  “Well, Lord Pennella, for one. He spends a lot of time talking about all of his money, but there’s something in the tone of his voice that makes me think he’s lying. Also, he says little things here and there to different gentlemen that suggest he’s looking for an argument.”

  “He wants gentlemen to argue with him?” Emilia asked.

  She had only danced with Lord Pennella three times during her last Season, and none of them were the least bit memorable. As soon as she’d met him, she’d decided she didn’t want to marry him. He had a certain air of self-importance about him that repulsed her. It was nothing like the feeling she’d gotten from Lord Reddington. Lord Reddington was confident, and, like Benjamin, he had a humble way about him. Looking back, she thought it was Lord Reddington’s confidence that had appealed to her. But what lady wouldn’t like a gentleman who was both kind and confident?

  “At White’s, gentlemen get into wagers over the slightest insult,” Benjamin continued, drawing her attention back to him. “It’s their way of proving themselves. Pride convinces gentlemen to do reckless things. My guess is that Lord Pennella is looking to provoke someone who will go into a wager with him in hopes that he’ll win significant wealth.”

  “If that’s true, it’s terrible,” she replied.

  “It is terrible. That’s why I go to another room if he’s in it.”

  “So he’s never spoken to you?”

  “He did one time.”

  “Did he try to provoke you?”

  His face grew pink, and that answered her question, but she was much too curious to let the matter go. “What did he say?”

  “It’s not important.”

  “I want to know. You can tell me. I won’t tell anyone else.”

  Even as the words came out, she couldn’t help but be reminded of Lilly who needed to hear the latest gossip. Well, she did, too. The only person she knew who minded her own business was Kitty. Compared to her and Lilly, Kitty was a saint. If Emilia had the slightest bit of decency in her, she would tell him that she didn’t need to know. But, unfortunately, she did want to know. What kind of thing would a gentleman say to provoke another gentleman?

  Benjamin sighed. “All right. I can’t deny you anything, even when it’s terribly embarrassing. But you know it’s not true because you’re with me. Of all the gentlemen you could have chosen, you chose me. So really, I’m safe in telling you.” He paused to clear his throat then continued, “He told me that I’d never get married because no lady would ever find me attractive.”

  Now it was her turn to blush, but it was because Lord Pennella had told him the very thing she used to think whenever she was near him.

  “Can you tell if ladies are lying in the same way you can tell gentlemen are lying?” she asked.

  “No. When it comes to ladies, I don’t know anything. They are a mystery to me.”

  She released her breath. That was good. So he really didn’t know that she’d only pretended to be sick or busy in order to avoid being around him before they married. She’d be horrified if he ever figured out the truth.

  “I think I understand gentlemen as well as I do because I spend so much time at White’s,” Benjamin said. “I have lots of conversations with gentlemen, but sometimes I like to sit and watch them. I prefer to establish a rapport with those who are genuine. My parents used to warn me that I should pay attention to a person’s character. ‘Choose your friends instead of letting them choose you,’ they would say. ‘The wrong people can ruin you.’”

  “That’s true,” Emilia agreed. “Especially in London where you’re judged for every little thing you do.”

  “Yes, one can’t be too careful.”

  “Does it bother you that Lilly engaged in a scandal in order to marry Roger?”

  “No. We all knew she did that because he’d been trying to find someone else to marry. He used to go to White’s and bemoan the fact that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find anyone else he wanted to be with. I know he wasn’t happy with the scandal, but they’re happy now. That’s what matters. It all worked out in the end.”

  “Much to her relief,” Emilia said. “She spent days crying over how stupid she’d been to reject Roger. The scandal was an act of desperation on her part. If there had been a way to get him to marry her without resorting to one, she would have done it.”

  Benjamin smiled. “I know we’re supposed to frown on scandals, but I think it’s nice she was willing to do whatever it took to be with him. Very few ladies would risk a scandal for love.”

  “I suppose it is romantic, though the Ton doesn’t see it that way.”

  “It was romantic. Who cares what the Ton thinks? I’ve listened to prominent members of the Ton, and they’re not happy. They smile and pretend like they’re enjoying themselves, but deep down, they’re miserable. Roger and your friend are happy. They have a love match like we do.”

  Her eyes grew wide. Had he just come out and said he loved her? Where was he getting all these ideas? What had she said or done to encourage all of this?

  Why do you keep fighting him?

  Because…because…

  Is Lilly right? Does this all stem from the fact that you didn’t have a choice in marrying Benjamin? Do you resent being forced into a marriage?

  Well, who wanted to have a marriage arranged for them?

  “I’ve never engaged in a scandal,” Benjamin said, giving her a much needed reprieve from her thoughts. “I always worried about what other people would think of me. A part of me still does, actually. But I’m learning that I don’t have to worry so much about others’ opinions. You accept me as I am. You encourage me to say what I think, and when I do, you don’t tell me I’m wrong or try to convince me that I should think differently.”

  Her cheeks warmed with pleasure. That was actually a lovely compliment. “There’s nothing wrong with having an opinion that’s different from someone else’s. Lilly, Kitty, and I are good friends, but we don’t agree on everything, and we’re all right with that. It’s nice because we are free to be our real selves when we’re together. Everyone should have someone like that in their lives.”

  “Besides you and my uncle, no one encouraged me to be who I really am. I think most people just want others to agree with them all the time.”

  She hadn’t thought of it that way, but he might be right. Lady Cadwalader and her friends certainly expected others to agree with them.

  “This will be a fun afternoon,” Benjamin said. “Roger wants to talk to me about fox hunting. Have you been fox hunting before?”

  She shook her head. “I’ve only heard about it.” And that had been from gentlemen at the balls. “Do you do it?”

  “Not as much as I’d like. I’ve never gone with anyone. I think it might be fun to join Roger on a hunt, but it’d be more so if you came along. Lilly might come along, too.”

  “I don’t think you’ll get Lilly to agree to hunt for foxes.”

  “Why not?”

  “She doesn’t like being outside except if it’s to go for a stroll in Hyde Park to see which lady is with which gentleman.”

  “Roger thinks she’ll agree to go.”

  Emilia had trouble understanding how even Roger could get her friend to agree to hunt for foxes, but Lilly did love him, so maybe it was possible. Still, she had to see it for herself to believe it.

  “It’s time to eat,” Benjamin said.

  She put her cup on the table and accepted his arm so he could e
scort her to the buffet. Again, she experienced a strange fluttering sensation in her chest. Twice in one morning. This might turn out to be something serious if it kept up. She had no idea what it meant, but she hoped it would stop. Otherwise, she might need to see a doctor.

  She prayed such wouldn’t be the case. What she wanted was to have a pleasant day. A doctor would spoil it. Determined to forget the whole thing, she sat down and enjoyed her breakfast.

  Chapter Twelve

  “You should do it,” Lilly told Emilia when they were alone in the drawing room later that day. “It’ll be fun.”

  “It’d be scandalous if we got caught,” Emilia whispered, even though the doors were closed and no one could possibly hear them.

  Emilia couldn’t believe what her friend had been up to when she went out of town for a couple of days. Emilia had assumed she was visiting a relative. It never once occurred to her that her friend was running off, disguised as a gentleman, to go foxhunting with Roger. She couldn’t believe Roger permitted her friend to do anything remotely scandalous. Yet, from what Lilly had told her, it’d been his idea to take her to a place where only gentlemen could hunt for foxes.

  “Why don’t we go to a place that allows gentlemen and ladies to hunt for foxes?” Emilia asked. “Why go somewhere that is only open to gentlemen?”

  “Because it’s more exciting this way,” Lilly replied.

  Emilia shook her head.

  “Oh come now,” Lilly said. “Didn’t you enjoy sneaking into White’s?”

  “No. Benjamin was there. I wasn’t able to focus on anything but avoiding him. I didn’t realize he was a member of that establishment. If I had known, I never would have gone there.”

  “But he didn’t know it was you. Benjamin, of all people, is oblivious to a lot of things that are happening around him.”

  “You really think so?”

  “He had no idea you were trying to be difficult with him right after you two married. You dressed like a wallflower, you gave him grief over his taste in furniture, and you gave me this ring.” Lilly held up her hand and showed Emilia the exquisite blue diamond that sparkled at her as if to tell her she never should have let it go.