Forced into Marriage Page 10

  Brandon shook the memory away. No. There was no reason to think Lokni would be sharing the bed in this hotel room with another man. Not after everything she’d been through. A woman who’d been raped repeatedly by four men wouldn’t welcome the opportunity to have someone in her bed. It was why he hadn’t ventured to do anything with her, though the thought had crossed his mind once in a while. Despite the circumstances surrounding their marriage, he was still a man, and he remembered how pleasurable it was to make love to a woman. But he wasn’t ruled by his lusts like some men. He would never force himself on Lokni.

  So maybe Lokni was in trouble. He pressed his ear to the door and waited. All was quiet. Certainly, if she was being hurt, he would hear a struggle from the other side of the door.

  He knocked on the door and called out her name. There was no answer. She probably left the room and took her son with her. They had only been given one key, and he had left it with her.

  He went to the counter where the owner was sorting through some mail. When the owner looked up at him, Brandon asked, “Did you see my wife leave?”

  The man nodded. “She left right after she had breakfast. It was right after nine. She hasn’t returned. Oh, wait.” He chuckled. “I spoke too soon. She’s coming this way now.”

  Brandon turned his attention to the open window and saw Lokni heading toward the hotel with her son. “Thanks,” he told the owner and then opened the door to the hotel to let her in. “Did you have a good morning?” he asked her as she came into the building.

  “Yes,” she said. “I was helping Mrs. Samson with the laundry. Our clothes are done. They’re hanging outside to dry right now.”

  “Decided to give the poor woman a helping hand while you’re here, hmm?” the owner spoke up. “I’m sure she appreciates it.”

  “I was bored,” Lokni said, directing the statement to Brandon as if she worried he might not be happy with her. “I don’t want to sit in a hotel room all day.”

  Hoping to set her mind at ease, Brandon smiled. “I think it’s nice that you’re helping her until she can find someone to work for her. I remember all those piles of clothes and sheets she had to wash.”

  She seemed relieved by his answer, and he was glad he had succeeded at setting her mind at ease. “She’ll pay me, too.”

  “That’s even better,” he said. “I thought I’d come back here to escort you to lunch.”

  Her eyebrows furrowed. “Escort?”

  “It means to take you somewhere. In this case, I want to take you to the dining room.” He glanced at the owner. “Whatever your wife is making, it smells good.”

  “That would be her stew,” the owner replied, “and it tastes as good as it smells. You’re in for a treat.”

  Brandon nodded. “I have no doubt about that given how good supper was yesterday.”

  “I want to change the baby’s diaper first,” Lokni told Brandon.

  Brandon indicated that he was willing to let her do that and went with her to the hotel room. “Did you have a good night’s sleep?”

  “I did,” she said as she slipped the key into the lock. “I didn’t even hear you leave this morning.”

  “I tried to be quiet. It’s been a long journey. I think we were both exhausted.” She opened the door, and he went into the room after her. “I’m looking forward to taking a bath tonight now that we’ll be getting clean clothes to put on. You should take one, too. If you think you slept well last night, you’ll sleep even better after a bath.” He sat in the chair while she set her son down to get him ready to change his diaper. “I arranged for our baths this morning before I went to work. We’ll take them after supper. You’ll get the first one, and then I’ll go after you.”

  She glanced over at him, a flicker of uncertainty crossing her face. “Will we be taking a bath in this room?”

  “No. There’s a room in this hotel reserved for that.”

  She seemed relieved by this, and he suspected it had to do with her past of being around men. He cleared his throat. They needed to address this topic sooner or later, and given everything that had happened to her, he thought it might help her if he did it now.

  “Lokni,” he began, weighing his words carefully, “I want you to know that you have nothing to worry about with me. I’m not like Orson Pitt and the others who mistreated you. I was born and raised to treat a woman right. I never once hurt my first wife, and I’m not about to hurt you.”

  She slipped the soiled diaper off and placed it in the bucket before she glanced at him. “You were married before?”

  “Yes.” With a sigh, he turned his gaze to the wall. “She divorced me so she could be with another man.”

  “You loved her. I can tell it in your voice.”

  “I did. Letting her go was the hardest thing I ever did, but she didn’t want to be with me anymore and I wasn’t about to force her to.” He cleared his throat again. “I found her in bed with my friend. I wouldn’t have been able to trust her after that. I let her go for her sake as much as I did for mine.”

  Though the words were hard to say aloud, he realized there was also a sense of relief in saying them. He hadn’t been aware of the burden he’d been carrying around all this time. Coming out and admitting everything was a surprisingly freeing experience.

  “Anyway,” he continued, finally looking back at her as she slipped the new diaper on her son, “I’m well aware of what happens between a husband and his wife when they’re in bed. I’m also aware of everything you’ve been through. I don’t want to be intimate with you unless you want me to. You might never want to, and that’s fine. I just ask that you be faithful to me. Knowing my first wife betrayed our vows was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I never want to go through that again.”

  He looked away from her and quickly blinked his tears away so she wouldn’t see how difficult this was for him. Being vulnerable was especially harder with her than it’d been with his first wife, but then, he supposed that was to be expected since when he married his first wife, the possibility of infidelity hadn’t even occurred to him.

  “I won’t take another man to my bed,” Lokni said, her voice soft in the room. “I promise.”

  Once he trusted himself to keep his emotions steady, he turned his gaze back to her. “And I promise that I will never be like those men we left back in that other town.”

  Noting that she was done putting the new diaper on the baby, he rose from the chair and offered his hand to help her up. After the serious nature of what they’d discussed, he wasn’t sure what to say. She probably felt the same way. There were just some occasions where deciding to keep quiet was called for, and this seemed to be one of them. Besides, the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. It wasn’t. In fact, it was just the opposite.

  He opened the door and let her leave first before he followed her into the hallway to go to the dining room.

  Chapter Twelve

  A week passed, and Brandon was true to his word. He didn’t make a move to touch her when they were in bed, and because of this, she lost her anxiety over being close to him at night. It was nice to be able to be with a man and not worry if he would try to force her into something she wasn’t ready for. So by the end of the first week, she knew he was the type of man who followed through on his word. He was the kind of man she could trust.

  Perhaps the heartache he’d endured in his first marriage had made him value honesty. His first wife had hurt him. And deeply so. She’d never been in love with anyone, but he’d been in love with his first wife. She almost asked him what his first wife’s name had been, but then she decided it didn’t matter. It wouldn’t change anything, and besides, that was all in the past.

  She didn’t like dwelling on the past any more than he did. Doing so only robbed her of what enjoyment she had in the present. She suspected the same was true for him. The same was probably true for everyone. So there was nothing to be gained from thinking over everything that had gone wrong in the past, except to appreciate how muc
h better things were now.

  In addition to Brandon and her son, she also enjoyed her time with Wilma. Wilma was a lovely woman. If Lokni lived in this town, she would come to work with Wilma six days a week, take Sunday off, and live in the small apartment at the end of the street. Her son would stay with her through the day. Wilma said she enjoyed her time with the boy, saying it was nice to have a baby to brighten things up.

  Lokni could be happy here. Her son could be happy here. It was a safe place with plenty of people like them. All of their needs would be taken care of. There was just one thing that the town wouldn’t have. It wouldn’t have Brandon. And that was getting more and more difficult for her to reconcile. Her heart had been set on gaining her independence of men when she first married Brandon. After all she’d gone through, the last thing she’d wanted was to be under someone else’s control.

  But when she was with Brandon, she didn’t feel like she was under his command. He treated her like Wilma did. He treated her like the women in her tribe had. Her wishes mattered. Her comfort mattered. She mattered.

  And this was what made it difficult to think about staying in this town. Her head told her staying was the best thing she could do. Her heart, however, urged her to keep going to California.

  Wilma must have noticed her inner struggle, for halfway into the second week while they were hanging the newly washed clothes outside, she asked Lokni, “Are you doing alright?”

  Lokni glanced up from the shirt she was pinning up with the clothespin. “I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

  “You seem preoccupied,” Wilma replied. “It seems like something is on your mind.”

  “Oh, well, I was just thinking of how fortunate I am.”

  Which was true. She had been thinking of how much better her life was now than it used to be. The first thing Brandon had done when he got paid was to buy material to make a baby carrier. Now she could put her son in the carrier which was strapped to her chest, allowing her freedom to hang the clothes or do other tasks with more ease. At the moment, her son was in the carrier, his back pressing up against her chest, and he was taking delight in examining his surroundings.

  Giving Wilma a smile, she added, “I don’t know who’s happier about the carrier. Me or him.” She rubbed her son’s head affectionately.

  Wilma returned her smile. “Probably him. The little boy is curious about the world. He has so much to see and learn. He’s just getting started. Just you wait. When he starts walking, you’ll have trouble getting him to stop. He’ll want to go all over the place and touch everything.”

  She chuckled. “I’m sure he will.” She paused then asked, “Did your children do that when they were little?”

  Wilma nodded. “It’s the way children are. Each one has the desire to explore all they can. Some don’t even outgrow it. Your husband seems awfully excited about California. The general store owner said he couldn’t stop talking about it the other day.”

  Yes, Brandon did mention California quite a bit. He didn’t do it so much around her. When he was with her, he tended to talk about the baby, often asking if there was anything new he’d done that day. The other day, Lokni thought her son had smiled at her, but it was hard to tell for sure since he hadn’t done it since.

  Lokni bit her lower lip. Brandon loved the child. There was no mistaking that. It seemed the more each day passed, the more he grew attached to him. Every evening, Brandon would hold him and show him the rattle. The scene often amused her since she thought Brandon was more fascinated with the rattle than her son was.

  Lokni picked up another clothespin and secured the other end of the shirt on the clothesline. Could she really separate the two when they had so easily developed an attachment to one another?

  “You got that look again,” Wilma told her.

  Lokni turned her gaze back to the woman.

  “If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m a good listener,” Wilma continued.

  Then Wilma picked up a pair of trousers and started to pin it up on the clothesline, signaling that she wasn’t going to press Lokni for any more information.

  Lokni swallowed the lump in her throat. If she was thinking of leaving her first husband or Orson and his friends, she wouldn’t even hesitate to make a life for herself and her son here. But with Brandon… Brandon was threatening to change all of her plans, and it scared her because she’d never cared about any man before.

  Lokni’s son made a cooing sound, which brought her attention back to him. Babies seemed to be so happy. How she wished life could be so simple for her. She rubbed his head affectionately and then continued hanging up the clothes.

  ***

  Three days later while Lokni was washing clothes, Brandon came to take her to lunch. Judging by the position of the sun, he was a half hour early.

  Getting up from the washtub, she asked, “Is something wrong?”

  “No, nothing’s wrong. I asked my boss if I could have an extra half hour so we can pick up some things from the general store. The boots we ordered are in. I thought we could get them before we have lunch at the hotel.” He watched her expectantly as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, his eyes lit up and his smile growing wider.

  She couldn’t recall seeing him so excited before. “Is that all you’re going to the general store for?”

  “You’ll have to come with me to find out.”

  “Whatever it is, it sounds like something you want to see,” Wilma called out from where she was folding sheets on the table. “He’s obviously looking forward to it.”

  “Alright,” he admitted. “There is something else, but I don’t want to spoil the surprise.”

  Now Lokni was intrigued. Just what could he have planned?

  Lokni went to her son who was sleeping and picked him up, careful not to disturb him too much as she did so.

  “You can leave him here if you want,” Wilma offered. “I don’t mind watching him while you go to the general store.”

  While Lokni appreciated the woman’s offer, she couldn’t bring herself to be separated from her son, not even for a short time. “Thank you for the offer, but I would rather take him with me.”

  Wilma smiled. “I understand. I was a new mother once. I remember how hard it was to be without my little one. Once you have more than a couple of them, you’ll be relieved to get a moment alone with your husband.” She winked at Lokni before she went back to folding the sheet in front of her.

  Lokni’s face warmed. She wasn’t sure why the woman’s words embarrassed her, but they did. Unable to look at Brandon, she walked past him and headed for the door.

  “I hope I didn’t come at a bad time,” Brandon said a couple of seconds after they left the building. “I could see you were busy in there.”

  “There is no good time to stop doing laundry,” Lokni said. “As Wilma says, no matter how much laundry you do, the pile of work never goes away.”

  “That’s because people need to wear clothes all the time.”

  Noting the teasing tone in his voice, she chuckled. “Yes, they do. But some people have more dirt on their clothes than others. There was a suit yesterday that was covered in mud. Wilma and I were trying to decide whether the owner rolled around in the mud on purpose, fell off a horse, or if someone flung mud at him. We spent most of the day debating which was the case, but when the man came to pick it up, we decided not to ask. It seemed more interesting to guess than to know the truth.”

  He grinned. “Sometimes it is more fun to use your imagination that way. I used to do that from time to time when I owned the mercantile back in Omaha. There were some peculiar people who would come in, and I would make up all sorts of stories about who they were and what they were doing. One woman always came in with the same shawl. She was one of the older customers that frequently came into the store. No matter what the weather was, she had that thing on. Even when it was hot out, she would wear it. I used to wonder why she had to wear that particular shawl all the time.”

&nbs
p; “Why do you think she wore it?”

  “I like to think she wore it because her daughter made it for her.”

  “That’s a nice thought. It’s much better than wondering why a man had mud on his suit.”

  “Maybe he just won a lot of money and started dancing in the rain. Maybe he slipped and got mud all over himself.”

  “I like that. It’s happier than what Wilma and I came up with.”

  “I don’t know. Imagining that he’s rolling around in the mud on purpose is funny.”

  She laughed. “Yes, I suppose it is.” She rubbed her son’s back, and since they were only halfway to the general store, she asked, “Did you like working at the mercantile?”

  “I did. It was a nice living, and I met a lot of interesting people.”

  “Why did you give it up?”

  “I didn’t. Not intentionally.” He lowered his voice so no one overheard them. “After what happened with my first wife, I started drinking. A lot. Suffice it to say that it’s hard to run a business when you let alcohol and debt run your life. I ended up selling the mercantile to Ralph Lindon. I left Omaha to get away from my first wife and my friend. I just couldn’t go on living in the same town and seeing them together. Happy and in love.”

  “I understand. It would be difficult to do that.”

  She might not have loved Orson or his friends, but she had no desire to ever see them again. They had hurt her far too much.

  “Do you miss your old life?” she asked.

  He thought about it for a moment then shook his head. “No, not anymore, but I did for the longest time. I can’t say that I’m happy for my first wife and my friend. I’d be lying if I said that. But I made peace with the situation. Heading to California helped a lot with that. It gave me something to hope in.”